thezappa Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Hi all, I am working for a company at the moment but I am currently being contracted out for one of our clients. There is a guy I work with and we get along really well, he works in my place of work so I get to see him maybe once a month at works outings. I have started to have feelings for him. We sometimes email each other and when we are around each other we have a great laugh together. I am one of the two people he talks to at work, the other being another male. He is really shy though so I don't really know if he likes me. I have been thinking of asking him out, would this be a good idea?
River Rain Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 I think it's always a good idea to take that risk because I'm the type of person who would rather know than regret what might have been. Also, if he declines or makes excuses, at least you only have to see him rarely right? I think it's worth a chance.
Weezy1973 Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 If a man cannot summon the courage to ask a woman out, no matter how shy he is, he is not ready to date. I would agree with this. I used to be really shy, but I would still ask out a woman if I thought she was interested (and I was interested in her as well).
Weezy1973 Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 So, only if you notice she might be interested... You're missing out on more than you know if perceived mutual interest is the only thing that will get you off your stool. I suspect you're right. That being said, dating someone that you know a bit and already know is interested in you seems much more efficient than pursuing random strangers only because you find them physically attractive. 1
JamesM Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 There is a guy I work with....... I have been thinking of asking him out, would this be a good idea? If this is a guy who you will keep working with, then I would suggest that you look at how many work relationships don't turn out too happy. Will you be working with him on a closer basis after this contract ends or will you see less of him at work? Just remember...many companies frown on such associations, because so many relationships end badly. Just another thought to consider. Been down that road.
Revolver Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 They only like when women theyre attracted to approach them
Mallow Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I have asked all my previous partners out, with positive results. Men like women with confidence just as much as we appreciate men with the same. I would take the initiative to ask him out. However, make sure that this won't give you any issues with your place of work.
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Personally, I wouldn't want to be in a club that would have me in it. So, I don't want women asking me out, it makes me suspicious of their motives.
Author thezappa Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 Thank you all for the replies!! I'm seeing 50/50 at the moment, I do but I don't. I don't want to ask him out in-case he doesn't like women asking him out/doesn't like me/makes it awkward between us if he said no/ afraid i'll be rejected. I also am a bit put of at the fact he hasn't asked me out, albeit I have only known him 3 months. I do want to ask him out because I do like him and he is the kind of guy I have been looking for, he is so nice, shy, really helpful if I need any help he is straight there to help me, quiet and just a lovely man, we have a great laugh together but at the same time we are both shy with each other. With regard to work, we will never be working in the same building or close together as we are constantly contracted out to clients, at least he is. As far as I know my work place has no rules in regard to co-workers dating. I'm still unsure if I should or not. Right now i'm thinking I shouldn't but I also feel regret at the same time.
El Brujo Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 It depends on the woman. 99% of the time it's some woman I don't find attractive or even nice.
Jack32 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Like others said go for it, you dont have much to lose after all. As someone who is somewhat shy I think that its worth trying. He may like you but be too shy to make the first move. Good luck!
Author thezappa Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 Asking to hang out. just come up with something. Maybe you want to watch a group playing music, etc. Thank you all for the replies! I took your advice and asked him to hang out rather than a date, I invited him to lunch with a few of us at work which he said yes too. I even subtly gave him my number, so if tomorrow doesn't go well or he never gets in contact by phone then I will know he just isn't into me.
ascendotum Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Thank you all for the replies! I took your advice and asked him to hang out rather than a date, I invited him to lunch with a few of us at work which he said yes too. I even subtly gave him my number, so if tomorrow doesn't go well or he never gets in contact by phone then I will know he just isn't into me. I wouldn't be so for sure about that last part. You did say.."He is really shy though". Inviting a shy guy out on a group lunch can easily be interpreted as nothing more than you being nice or friendly to him. It has zero indication that you see him or want to see him as more then a friend. As for giving him your phone number, that's good, but I guess it depends on what you said to him when you gave it to him, as to if he was able to pick up that you wanted him to contact you outside of work. I think you might need to be a little bit more obvious in your flirting (I didn't see any mention of this), and ask him some questions about his personal life and tell him more personal things about yourself, so he feels a connection for you, than its more than work related, and he sees that you appreciate him for more than him being 'nice' and 'helpful'....which has likely got him in no girl's pants in the past.
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