Themrandres Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 so guy ive been searching all over the web for advice about dealing with my ex but evrytime i find somthing promising its just a ploy to buy some expensive ebook. ive noticed that every single time i look into them they seem to all be offering the same thing and same simple concepts (go no contact and better yourself) but its just dolled up and oversold and im not stingie or cheap but im no idiot with my money. so i was wondering if anybody knows of a free site or alternative or has a simple basic summery of what all the books offer. Overall im not to confident in the idea of some person selling me some cure all book of theorys but i atleast wanna look into it and see what i can pull from it.
TopCat22 Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Don't buy them. They all preach the same things. There are no magic methods. It's just NC and wait for them to call you. Then slowly reconnect. It's not worth it.
Million.to.1 Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 If you are looking for advice on "how to get your Ex back" - you won't find it here. on Loveshack, N/C or no contact, is a tool for you to use to move on in the quickest easiest way possible. If you were dumped, then there is nothing you can do than pick up the pieces and move on with your life. Everyone here will tell you the exact same thing... except of course a few misguided souls that still live with some hope that they can get their ex back despite the fact that only 1 in a million ever will. 1
TaraMaiden Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Read the link in my signature - the 'Caliguy' one. It's not a book, it's a post by THE guy who's been there, done that and survived, admirably. Go No Contact - WITH THE SOLE INTENTION OF NEVER GETTING HER BACK, OR GETTING IN TOUCH EVER AGAIN. No Contact is for you to use, in order to heal and move on. Read the link. Any questions, come back in and ask. Can't do that with a book - can you?
Author Themrandres Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 why can't I be that 1 in 1000000 person to get her back? And it's happens before so it is possible:P
TaraMaiden Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 What you have to realise is that: (a) both people have to want it - (b) Both people have to work at it to ensure no repetition of past mistakes © Effort has to be equal - you can't make up the shortfall - the other person only wanting it 30% so you have to want it 70%.... (d)If No Contact has been going on for a while, and the break was some time ago - the more time passes, the less likely it would work the second time.... And MOST IMPORTANTLY: (e) The person who dumped - has to be the one to reconcile. 2
Author Themrandres Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 I know ur right I guess like i really appreciate u guys responding.it's just so hard like it just happend 3 weeks ago and I'm trying so hard to be better for her and I hear so many stories from friends and family and I've been the dumper in this situation and they got me back. So for now.....I'm still hope full.
mpa Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 We all hear those stories of couples who break up and get back together and are happier than ever - I have two friends at work who are now married to their on/off boyfriends, and one of my friends just officiated a wedding for a couple who would break up for a few months, get back together, break up for a year, get back together, etc. It happens. But I think you HAVE to move on and live your life without her. Right now you're hurt, so of course getting back together seems like the solution. It's not. You both have to grow and get perspective. Then down the road, if you re-connect, and you BOTH want it, then you can try. But the key is, you both have to want it. You can't talk your way back into a relationship with someone who doesn't really want it.
Million.to.1 Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 why can't I be that 1 in 1000000 person to get her back? And it's happens before so it is possible:P why don't you dedicate 2 hours of your time to read through some posts in the second chances forum? it would be more productive than posting questions you only want a certain type of answer to. You will end up posting thread after thread untill someone tells you what you want to hear, and ignore the 500 other posts along the way that give you the advice that will actually help you. We have all been there mate... seriously.. do some reading. You will find it easier to be objective when it's someone else's story.
Author Themrandres Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 thanks reading those threads helped, ill admit that i still havnt given up but i am trying to think more realisticly and i should prepare for the worst and strengthen myself for the blow and atleast try to think realisticly.
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