Binky62 Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 I broke up with me ex a while ago and finally been ready to start dating again. I happened to bump into a man on a night out who him and his friend hang out with us a group. We all got along really well, and he came out with us the day after to a pub. He sent me an email the day after asking if I wanted to go out for a meal with him sometime. Which I thought was odd as he didn't seem that interested and talked to my other friends much more than me. So to cut a long story short. We have been on quite a lot of dates now for the past month. He texts me every day and he still comes out with me and my friends. But he split up with a girlfriend of 5 years at the beginning, he has got awkward about it when I have asked him. Although I do they had moved in together and she split up with him for not seeing him enough. They are still friends though. This makes me uneasy. Mainly because I think he can't be over her and don't want him comparing me or being a rebound. We are taking it really slow. We only hold hands (sometimes) and only really kiss when we have both had a drink. The other day he came to a friends house warming party and a friend asked us to our faces what we were together. It was very awkward as we haven't discussed it at all. He didn't say anything and I said we weren't in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. My friend then asked were we seeing each other/dating. And again I paused and said I thought so....maybe. Even after he said nothing. I was wondering how long is reasonable to talk about this, or to even talk about it at all? Since he has gone away for work but has kept in contact.
Ninjainpajamas Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 You should take the opportunity now to find out exactly what's going on and where he is emotionally because any quick relationship after a long break-up to me is an automatic rebound. IT takes time to recalibrate yourself to be ready in the dating world, most people don't do this so they carry that baggage, end up getting back together with their ex or sabotaging the current relationship due to being emotionally distanced and walled off...It's quite typical If you look at the dating world, a lot of it is rebounding and an emotional reaction because of something recently experienced. Anyway that's a whole other subject I won't go into so I won't make this post epic, but the bottom line is you need to have that conversation soon, especially before any real emotional investment...or you're likely to be surprised or caught off guard, It doesn't matter If it makes him uncomfortable, you don't just wait or you accept the fact that things can blow up in your face...plus how buddy buddy friends could they possibly be? he could be talking to her everyday writing her "I miss you and can't live without you, yadda yadda" love letters everyday. Get in the know as soon as possible, quite a lot of dates is plenty of time, this is not a topic you need to wait on IMO, If that person is not ready to talk about It, they're still in...got something to hide...or they haven't moved past it...not really a surprise though is it? 1
River Rain Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 The two times I brought up his ex, he went mute on me. Even hung up once pretending he lost his cell signal. He wasn't and is still not over her - I was the rebound. Better to know before you get too involved and hurt because inevitably he won't be ready for a new relationship.
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