ParadeRain Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 (edited) Yesterday was cool, me and my mate we're hammering his new bmw around the estate.. we pull up to our other mates standing outside our mates house... And who's standing there just 2 houses down with her kid outside of her friends house?... My EX! haha, the bitch who broke my heart who I haven't seen or spoken to for 4 months now, I stared her out as my friend driving was chatting to our other mates outside the car, she was looking at me and looking away repeatedly as if she was shocked to see me... Standing with her 2 year old kid outside of her friends house, looking like she's doing nothing but going through her daily sad routine of lowclass boring living... All I could think in my head was... I've done the dirtiest things with you, made you cum so many times.. F'd you at that "time of the month" we we're covered in blood, still got the dirty pics, busted so many nuts in your mouth... you disgusting piece of filth, I wonder who's F'ing you now... That might all sound really harsh.. but let me tell you something, and what it made me realise. I have known this girl for around 7 years, we always had a thing for each other, and we acted upon it in January of this year, she chased me until I finally let my guard down and let her in, we got together and fell in love, we started to have problems in may june and she walked away in july, I was DEVASTATED.. being 20 this was my first real love, I was inlove with this girl and she shattered my world... Now it's October, I still think about her, I thought I still loved her and always will, but seeing her yesterday... I can officially say... I'M OVER IT!! I AM OVER IT!! When you have been through the heartbreak I have been through, on the verge of doing something extremely stupid... to trying your hardest to carry on, you get a good job, earn some nice money, start to enjoy life again with your friends, you do not understand how good it feels to say you're over that bitch! It's been emotional, and without even realising it, having gotten bored of wondering when it will happen, having learned to deal with the hurt of heartbreak... yesterday to my amazement I noticed.. I'm living again, I'm me again. I just felt the need to share this with somebody. P.S this all happened in the say time yesterday, me and my friend went out at night into town, got talking to a fit scouse girl and scored a pretty good one night stand, cherry on the cake, yesterday was a good day for me.. Edited October 7, 2012 by ParadeRain 1
Calico Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 My EX! haha, the bitch ... ... she's doing nothing but going through her daily sad routine of lowclass boring living... F'd you at that "time of the month" we we're covered in blood, still got the dirty pics, busted so many nuts in your mouth... you disgusting piece of filth, I wonder who's F'ing you now... Considering the above, I can't help but think ... I'M OVER IT!! ... really? I doubt it. Way too much emotional attachment still. But it's good that you feel better about stuff. Although, reading the above, I think her decision may not have been the worst. You sound rather nasty. 6
Author ParadeRain Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 (edited) Considering the above, I can't help but think ... ... really? I doubt it. Way too much emotional attachment still. But it's good that you feel better about stuff. Although, reading the above, I think her decision may not have been the worst. You sound rather nasty. What I'm over, is the depression, pain and heartbreak, wallowing and wishing she was still mine... I am truly over it, if she wanted me back, I wouldn't have her for all the money in the world... She's my first love, so the "emotional attachment" which comes naturally with that... comes naturally, my emotions and feelings are still a atuned to her no doubt, but that's something I can now ignore because... I'm over it, I have my life back, I'm me again, it's an area shaded grey with many complications, a million thoughts and feelings contributing to being over her, and not being over her, and it'shard to explain unless you could feel what I feel for a day just to see for yourself... this has been MY experience, and it could never be fully assessed on an internet forum post whether or not I truly am, only I can give you the answer, and I've had no problems with crying my eyes out admitting that I am not over her in the past... and now I can truly tell you that I am over it and I feel GOOD! I'm nasty? When somebody has you on the edge of life itself, causing you to sit and think of what to say to your family in a letter before they find the walls painted red with your blood and brains... I feel no remorse for my hostility towards that witch and the emotional state she put me in. F her, and F you too if you don't agree, I reserve my right to be as nasty, mean, vile and horrible towards her as I like. Edited October 7, 2012 by ParadeRain 2
TopCat22 Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 The fact that you're on this forum telling us you're over her shows that you really aren't. I also really doubt you'd have this sort of hostility towards her if you were over her. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. You are showing far too much emotion to be over her. Think all the bad thoughts you like about her. I doubt they will really help. Anger is only useful to an extent. At some point you're going to have to face what happened and you'll have to let it all go. Keep hating and you'll just become bitter, which btw you already come across as. Not trying to be insulting, but you don't sound happy.
Author ParadeRain Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 (edited) The fact that you're on this forum telling us you're over her shows that you really aren't. I also really doubt you'd have this sort of hostility towards her if you were over her. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. You are showing far too much emotion to be over her. Think all the bad thoughts you like about her. I doubt they will really help. Anger is only useful to an extent. At some point you're going to have to face what happened and you'll have to let it all go. Keep hating and you'll just become bitter, which btw you already come across as. Not trying to be insulting, but you don't sound happy. No, the reason I am on this forum telling you, is because I felt like it, on a relaxed sunday afternoon with not too much else going on at the moment. Like I said, only I can give you the answer, this is MY experience, I know MY feelings, so I will disregard your assumptions that I am not happy, safe in the knowledge that I am happy, and extremely relieved to be able to breath again. You wanna call me an Ahole.. yeah maybe I am, if you look at me in the wrong way you're going to be confronted and it's likely going to be a fight... I guess that's the type of guy I am, maybe I am an Ahole.. it's my background, upbringing and where I come from, at least I know I'm not a pussy... that being said I feel no 2 ways about hating the bitch who broke my heart... And what I just said give you no right to assume that's probably why she left, because I never treated her wrong, I loved her and would never have done anything to hurt her, and would have protected her with my life... she left because things got heated with arguments over things like mistrust, we seemed to be stuck in a rut, I believed we could get out of that rut and start fresh because I knew I loved her, she didn't have that belief and convinced herself that it couldn't be fixed.. we tried and failed in her eyes blablabla, anyway... The hate I have for is is a RESULT of what she did to me. BOTTOM LINE: I'm not here today to discuss my old relationship that I have no interest in talking about, nor am I here to correct people who try to tell me how I am feeling based on the fact of me writing on this forum (ignorance), I am here to write on the forum, explaining how I had an enlightening day yesterday, and I'm explaining that... on here... because... I can? Edited October 7, 2012 by ParadeRain 1
songbird70 Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 In defense of ParadeRain I understand his mild hatred and anger towards his ex. It's part of the healing process. I think most of us here have experienced anger towards the ex at one point after the break up. I know I sure did! In fact, that mild hatred is the final phase. After having my heart broken a couple times in my life I have realized that after the hate phase is when there is nothing at all. No emotion, no feeling, or anything towards that person. You don't wish them anything bad, but you just loose all feeling whatsoever and that's when you KNOW you are completely over them for good. Nothing can make you turn back then. Congrats PR on your progress! ;-) 3
KatZee Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I'm nasty? When somebody has you on the edge of life itself, causing you to sit and think of what to say to your family in a letter before they find the walls painted red with your blood and brains... I feel no remorse for my hostility towards that witch and the emotional state she put me in. F her, and F you too if you don't agree, I reserve my right to be as nasty, mean, vile and horrible towards her as I like. I really don't think you have any right to act like such a disgusting prick. You're beyond vile. And quit playing the "victim" game here. SHE didn't have you on the edge of life. SHE wasn't the one who was contemplating suicide. The fact that your emotional range is so volatile kind of shows me you need some sort of professional help. You're on the verge of suicide, now you're acting out like... this. It's just not normal, or healthy. 1
Steelrain322 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 " it's my background, upbringing and where I come from, at least I know I'm not a pussy..." that made me laugh lol
kae Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 say whatever YOU want!! Feel Good!!!! It was INDEED a good day.. She was a con or a coward............ or too young.. Relationships are scaryy and serious and people generally forget that. Dont be so hard on her k..but now it`s your job to make sure the woman you will pursue or let in is a mature and dedicated individual. that`s all. anyhow you had your day... keep ur head up
kae Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 although, you do sound nasty.. but Ms. Jackson:P ..doesnt mind lol..
Canadian731 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 if you were truly were over your ex you wouldn't be coming on a BREAK UP forum and telling everyone how over your ex you are. as for all of the stuff you said in your post, your ex is a human being so f**king treat her like one, its not okay to think of someone like that and put them in such a low place no matter what they have done to you. Have some godamn decency man. As someone said earlier in this thread, Anger isn't the opposite of hate, you are mad because you still love her and yet she spat in your face (not literally). Once you are truly over your ex you will be indifferent with her. As I am with my ex, I don't hate her, I know she is a good genuine person eventhough some time ago it felt like she ripped out my heart, I am content within myself and happy with the changes it has brought to me. 2
suladas Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 if you were truly were over your ex you wouldn't be coming on a BREAK UP forum and telling everyone how over your ex you are. as for all of the stuff you said in your post, your ex is a human being so f**king treat her like one, its not okay to think of someone like that and put them in such a low place no matter what they have done to you. Have some godamn decency man. As someone said earlier in this thread, Anger isn't the opposite of hate, you are mad because you still love her and yet she spat in your face (not literally). Once you are truly over your ex you will be indifferent with her. As I am with my ex, I don't hate her, I know she is a good genuine person eventhough some time ago it felt like she ripped out my heart, I am content within myself and happy with the changes it has brought to me. Agreed. I will say I have some hate for my ex, simply because of how she handled the BU. But I know it's because i'm not over her yet, and the anger will be let go and I will be happy when I see her and feel nothing.
suladas Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I really don't think you have any right to act like such a disgusting prick. You're beyond vile. And quit playing the "victim" game here. SHE didn't have you on the edge of life. SHE wasn't the one who was contemplating suicide. The fact that your emotional range is so volatile kind of shows me you need some sort of professional help. You're on the verge of suicide, now you're acting out like... this. It's just not normal, or healthy. I'm not going to defend him, but I think it's VERY common for people just out of a relationship to feel like they can't go on and their life is over, at least for a very short time. 1
TopCat22 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I don't think you are an A hole, but coming on a forum like this and spouting off vitriol about your ex in the way you did makes you seem very unpleasant and angry. The fact that you are here and felt the need to say these things show you are hurt, there's no shame in that and doesn't make you a pussy. If you were over your ex then you wouldn't feel any sort of need to write about her or even be thinking about her, regardless of the time you have to write on forums if you want. Look at the power she still has over you. One sighting of her and you go into this rage. If you didn't care, you'd hardly notice her. You sound more like you are trying to convince yourself than us. I'm not having a go at you but the only reason you came here was to get comfort. It's hard for people to understand you and offer that comfort when you act like a douchebag.
KatZee Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I'm not going to defend him, but I think it's VERY common for people just out of a relationship to feel like they can't go on and their life is over, at least for a very short time. I think there's a VERY big difference between being in a mild temporary depression and thinking everything is over, and saying "I was ready to spray the walls with my blood."
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