ilovedogs21 Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 I honestly thought I was doing pretty good, it has been 11 months since me and my ex fiance broke up after dating for 2 years. Things were always good with occassional fighting but the last few months were very rocky. I believe he was a pathological liar i.e he lied about getting scholarships from certain schools, having a culinary certificate, and going surfing. But he was the sweetest person I have ever met. I went down in my basement yesterday and my phone with all his videos and messages that hadn't worked in a year finally worked. I sat there for 30 minutes going through all the messages and videos he had sent me about me being the love of his life. It brought everything back and gave me a good cry. I hope this is just a minor set back. I still have trouble dating because I go in with the mindset I will never find someone like him. But I guess it's just finding that comfort level with someoen new
Exit Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Your timeline matches mine closely. Dated for close to two years, and broke up 11 months ago. I'm still working through it too. Based on my own experiences, I don't think anything is wrong with you. I can still manage to have days where I feel just as bad as I did 10 months ago. But they do go away quicker now and I am more able to distract myself and get back to thinking about something else. Finding something like a bunch of pictures and videos would of course cause a temporary setback. I haven't even tried to date yet, I know I'd just be faking it. Sorry you are hurting, I know this sucks.
Phanpooh Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 pathological liar= cocky = lack of confident... get over it (_ _") after 11m and you still blame about him? why so serious? if you want to move on, just take it easy and simply forget it... accept the person who he was and focus on yourself
gamman Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 My timeline is also similar. Still have bad moments, but not bad days anymore. I think it's normal what you're going through. Don't beat yourself up and get down on yourself. Don't even worry about dating right now, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. We are all going to be okay.
mgce Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Checking in here, 12 months later for me. My heart goes out to you, truly. That was absolutely a *temporary* setback and I think it'll wither away reasonably soon for you. What happened is you stumbled upon something that launched you back into the past, whereas you need to continue focusing on the present. I hope you deleted your phone contents and/or threw away the phone. You need to cut these links between the present and the past, and that's a big one. The only way to ultimately release the past, and continue building an independent and viable future, is to make sure you don't have new experiences that throw you back there. Sometimes you'll accidentally stumble into some like you just did. When that happens, remove them from your life as quickly as you can, take a big breath, cry if you need, re-orient yourself forward, and start walking again. You *were* doing pretty good and you'll be doing just as good again soon.
Author ilovedogs21 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 I appreciate all the support and advice! You all were right that it was just a temporary set back, and I did throw the phone away since I didn't want anymore of his pics or videos and it's time to part ways with that. I still sometimes feel no one will measure up to him and I may be alone forever
mgce Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 I still sometimes feel no one will measure up to him and I may be alone forever I continue to feel that way every day. You're not alone in that regard, ild. We'll be okay, no matter what the outcome.
Daniel Kaiser Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 I dated for less than a year, and it's been around 11 months since our breakup. My feelings are much like yours; I'm doing great most of the time, but whenever I launch myself back in the past, it feels like we were meant to still be together, or that what we had was the greatest I'll ever find. I don't feel like dating anyone so far, at most I feel physical attraction, but so far haven't felt a spark like that one come up for me yet. I don't even know if I want one, to be honest. I really feel like I had the best, and if THAT didn't work out, I wonder what could... It was beautiful, it was an amazing feeling, but the simple act of turning it into what we call a "relationship" destroyed it. I hope I know what to do next time, thats all
Jack32 Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Maybe its a good idea to get rid of all of this stuff that reminds you of that relationship so you it does not bring back memories in the future. Also it doesn't seem fair to yourself to be afraid of falling in love because of a past relationship, perhaps try to get out of that mindset. 1
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