ImperfectionisBeauty Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 So I met this guy in okcupid and I really didn't think it would result in anything because he looked like a total tool and he kept saying how he wants a long term relationship (I've heard that BS line before) but I still went out (I figured whatever a free dinner cool!!) and he was really cute and sweet and we just talked forever then I drove him back to his car and we talked more and kissed and he kissed my shoulder and neck! It was so cute. Then we went out again this week to watch the Presidential debate and we just talked more and kissed we both decided no sex until at least 6 dates and even later possibly so we can get to know each other beyond sex ad see if it is legit. So far he seems legit and I'm so excited! He wants to more things slow, which is great because I still feel like I have no trust in guys at all so I want him to be more than a hook up... I can't hook up with anyone else this year at least because I'm getting a little slutty :/ ! Oh the only problem with him is that he is 20 and I'm 21, I feel like I'm robbing the cradle a little..
TaraMaiden Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Oh the only problem with him is that he is 20 and I'm 21, I feel like I'm robbing the cradle a little.. Don't worry. My H. is 5 years younger than I, so you're not cradle robbing - really, a gap like that is no big deal - the more you go on, the less it will matter....
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 Don't worry. My H. is 5 years younger than I, so you're not cradle robbing - really, a gap like that is no big deal - the more you go on, the less it will matter.... My mom is older than my dad by 11 months, it's just odd to me I guess because I have only dated older but he is a sweet guy and he is really mature. I'm really scared!
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 so when a guy says he wants a long term relationship, its automatically a bs line. geez guys are ****ed. but at least you give him an opportunity unlike most. your a year apart, no crade robbing. It's not that I feel like it is always a BS line, but I have heard it before from my ex who dumped me randomly and the guy before him who had sex with me a few times and dumped me so I am really hesitant to believe any guy
TaraMaiden Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 My dad was 11 YEARS older than my mother... BIG age differences are most noticeable at the beginning (he wouldn't have dated my mom when he was 20, would he??) and right at the end (at the end of my dad's life, my mother became his full-time carer....) But the middle ground isn't a problem at all. one year is nothing. is it exactly one year? A little more? A little less? it's no problem, honest.... Just remember that the brain, as an organ doesn't fully develop and connect all the neurons until the ages of 25 or so... and generally speaking, boys are mentally less mature emotionally and psychologically, than girls, to around 23 - 25 years of age. then, usually, it evens out....
CarrieT Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 just remember that the brain, as an organ doesn't fully develop and connect all the neurons until the ages of 25 or so... And generally speaking, boys are mentally less mature emotionally and psychologically, than girls, to around 23 - 25 years of age. Then, usually, it evens out.... ^^^^^ this ^^^^^^
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 He's 7 months younger so its not a huge deal I guess. I haven't had much luck dating older so its nice to change it up
TaraMaiden Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 take your time and accept - patronising though it may sound - that you're both very young, and this is embryonic. Don't expect too much from one another, and think twice before reacting to any situations....
CarrieT Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 He's 7 months younger so its not a huge deal I guess. I haven't had much luck dating older so its nice to change it up We are saying that in the grand scheme of things, a few months is not a big deal. But that an immature brain will make it into something...
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 We are saying that in the grand scheme of things, a few months is not a big deal. But that an immature brain will make it into something... No I understand what you're saying, I was responding to Tara, I think she asked me how far apart we are.
TaraMaiden Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Yeah, it's hard sometimes timing responses. Anyhow, take care, enjoy it for enjoyment's sake, don't pin your hopes too high, and see where things go..... 1
kaylan Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 (edited) My dad was 11 YEARS older than my mother... BIG age differences are most noticeable at the beginning (he wouldn't have dated my mom when he was 20, would he??) and right at the end (at the end of my dad's life, my mother became his full-time carer....) But the middle ground isn't a problem at all. one year is nothing. is it exactly one year? A little more? A little less? it's no problem, honest.... Just remember that the brain, as an organ doesn't fully develop and connect all the neurons until the ages of 25 or so... and generally speaking, boys are mentally less mature emotionally and psychologically, than girls, to around 23 - 25 years of age. then, usually, it evens out.... False. Ive met the same amount of immature men and women in their early 20s. 20 -22 yr old women are SUPER immature, and in the same major party phase as a lot of guys that age. The whole idea that women are more mature by a couple years was started by older men who wanted to sleep with younger women. Which is why Im not surprised OP said she has had much luck with older guys. Younger girls get fooled into thinking how much more mature they are then their peers, and then fooled into thinking older guys arent going to be after sex as much as the younger guys. lol Get real people. How do folks not get this? P.S.- and tbh, I stopped reading the OP when she mentioned scamming a free dinner off a guy who wanted an LTR. Edited October 7, 2012 by kaylan 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 The whole idea that women are more mature by a couple years was started by older men who wanted to sleep with younger women. Get real people. How do folks not get this? In many mammals, males reach maturity later than females. Why is it hard to accept that humans follow suit? Medical fact: Puberty usually occurs in girls between the ages of 10 and 14 and between the ages of 12 and 16 in boys. Doctors and education professionals dealing with children every day are not following an idea started by men who want to sleep with younger women. Please. Of course there are exceptions.
kaylan Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 In many mammals, males reach maturity later than females. Why is it hard to accept that humans follow suit? Medical fact: Puberty usually occurs in girls between the ages of 10 and 14 and between the ages of 12 and 16 in boys. Doctors and education professionals dealing with children every day are not following an idea started by men who want to sleep with younger women. Please. Of course there are exceptions. SEXUAL MATURITY. Not emotional or mental maturity. Show me the studies regarding these two. Because there are none. These two arent the same as sexual maturity, and do not coincide with it. Women start puberty first, but men catch up very quickly by their mid teens none the less.
TaraMaiden Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Kaylan, it's Biology, honest. This is what happens developmentally, and it's not a story perpetuated by "dirty old men" (my words, not yours). 49 pages. fascinating reading. may shed some light on it all for you....
kaylan Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Kaylan, it's Biology, honest. This is what happens developmentally, and it's not a story perpetuated by "dirty old men" (my words, not yours). 49 pages. fascinating reading. may shed some light on it all for you.... Cognitive and emotional maturity arent the same as sexual maturity. Get a clue. And your blind if you think older men arent perpetuating your little myth. Women are constantly being told by older guys how mature they are for their age.
kaylan Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 PS - funny how doing word searches for "mature" and "maturity" turned up nothing regarding mental or emotional maturity. Also, skimming each section, and no section focused on emotional or mental maturity. So like I said, studies dont exist pushing the little idea that women are more mentally mature than men. In my experience women say this about guys their age who want sex and dont want to settle down with them. Meanwhile these same young girls party and have sex with guys they dont end up dating themselves. Teens and early 20s folks are just as immature be they male or female. Im going to read over it more in depth while I watch the Real Madrid game, but I already know it wont say much. And its only 12 pages of content. The report starts on page 37 from whatever book its from. lol
TaraMaiden Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Ok, whoah... getting a little shirty, here..... Look. I'm not pulling the "I'm a lot older than you" crap, but - I'm a lot older than you (Crap. I am. ) I've been lucky in my capacity of working closely with the public, having a lot of males in my family AND being married 3 times, to know that IN SOME WAYS - men are far less mature than women UP TO A CERTAIN AGE. things then seem to level out in various fields - but - ask me not why - some guys just never 'grow up' in the emotional field. EVERY guy I have met is a child in his woman's eyes. The amount of women with children, who tell me they have X+1 kids, because they add their H into the equation, defies belief. Every woman believes their partner is a closet kid. Even my H keeps insisting he's 9-and-a-half! There seems to be a behaviour pattern inherent in men, that makes them act like little boys in some emotional situations. This is what I have seen and witnessed with my own eyes. Time and again. I can't herlp it Kaylan - I call it as i have known it.
kaylan Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 From my point of view, there are gender-specific behaviors that the other gender sees as immature. On the whole, the idea that women are generally more mature than men though, is false. Theres nothing factual backing up the claim that they are.
TaraMaiden Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Why don't you conduct your own mini-survey? Ask women - at random - or your female friends - do you think men are just little boys at heart? do they ever grow up? Do you think your H is just a big kid? See what comes back to you...... I'm serious! (Who's winning?)
kaylan Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 (edited) Also, Your discounting all the experiences of men calling women immature. Guys have convos with each other that you have with other women. Dudes arent going to go around telling women, such as yourself, that he believes many of you are immature. But he will tell other guys this. Ive heard it enough myself. Ive heard both sides bitch about each others maturity. Ive heard it more so from men than women actually. Especially with the way many women behave from 18 to 25. Women think guys are big kids when they do typical bro stuff....the same way guys think women are immature when he sees them having girl time. The difference is that people usually have on gender blinders. I understand how immature I can be when bro-ing out, but its funny how girls my age do the same stuff with their girlfriends, and call boys immature for doing it. Edited October 7, 2012 by kaylan
utterer of lies Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Just remember that the brain, as an organ doesn't fully develop and connect all the neurons until the ages of 25 or so... [citation needed]
kaylan Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 ^Thats one thing I wasnt going to argue. A quick google search will find you those citations. It may not be the most common knowledge, but a few people do know that brain development finally is complete around 24/25
TaraMaiden Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Now shut up and butt out, lizard head, we're having an adult argument here, so there.
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