Teknoe Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Anyone on eHarmony? Stories? After years of denying it, I finally broke down and got an account. It's different from free dating sites like POF and OKCupid because eHarmony you get matched up, and you can't search the database of users. I got the 6-month deal. I'm hoping to at least get a few dates' experience off this.
River Rain Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Oh gosh, I got my money back after the first 2 weeks on E-Harmony. Their "matching" system was bogus, at least for me. I got hundreds of matches, but not one of them was a real match. My problem was that I didn't want to date a man who had young kids living with him. I even put zero in the kid part (I don't remember the parameter question), and then "don't have kids" and "doesn't want kids"...there were 3 sections. Every single "match" was a daddy with a young kid living with him. It got to be so disappointing, because you think there is a possibility, then you get let down. I called their customer service to complain and they said "E-Harmony decided this wasn't a real issue for people your age"....I'm 44...their suggestion was to lower my age parameters...but I didn't want a younger guy. So it wasn't a solution for me. Oh, and they kept sending me matches of guys in their 60's too, my age range was 40-47. All around disappointing. So I complained, closed my account and got my money back! I met a nice guy on OKCupid recently though. Anyway, that's my own personal experience!! 1
KathyM Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I friend of mine met his wife on EHarmony. They're ARE a good match, and there are some quality people on there.
phineas Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Okcupid keeps matching up with people in canada. Yes, i'm 30 mins. from the border. But another 30 to cross the damn thing. If I got a passport or enhanced license. And the person at the booth isn't having a bad day. In other words, it's too much of a hassle to try & date a citizen of another country regardless of how close they really are. It's a shame because honestly the grass does look greener on the other side of the fence. LOL! 1
xdahliax Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Okcupid keeps matching up with people in canada. Yes, i'm 30 mins. from the border. But another 30 to cross the damn thing. If I got a passport or enhanced license. And the person at the booth isn't having a bad day. In other words, it's too much of a hassle to try & date a citizen of another country regardless of how close they really are. It's a shame because honestly the grass does look greener on the other side of the fence. LOL! I don't know where you live, but if you're in Upstate New York there is a nice little border in Hemmingford where a man steps out of a little cabin, asks you a few questions and sends you on your merry way. No lineup. (Yes, I realize the America-Canada border is very long Lol) 1
bobsmith76 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I never got one date through eharmony. I don't like the fact that you can't do your own searching. Just collect the data on people and allow me to choose the criteria, don't do it yourself. 2
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 eHarmony was a hilarious bust for me. I could not have met more inappropriate guys if I'd set out to do it intentionally - and I'm sure the guys who ended up "matched" with me felt the same way - horrified! I had kind of a unique circumstance, though. I am a recovering addict, and I do not take any drugs, drink or smoke at all. They kept matching me with extremely conservative tee-totaler types. But I was a complete rebel and in the middle of the scene when punk first hit the States, and had a lot of adventures behind me - not just drugs. I am still that person. The questions I had to answer did not give me a chance to express the dichotomy. I NEED to be able to communicate on my own to get a sense of a person. The "guided" communication had NOTHING to do with anything, as far as I was concerned. I needed my own words, and to get the nuances of how the other person expressed himself. What a total bust. For ME. I actually know a successful couple who met there. I met my husband on Match, which is also widely scorned. So I say give it a try.
phineas Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I don't know where you live, but if you're in Upstate New York there is a nice little border in Hemmingford where a man steps out of a little cabin, asks you a few questions and sends you on your merry way. No lineup. (Yes, I realize the America-Canada border is very long Lol) I'm closer to the armpit (western NY) LOL! I never got one date through eharmony. I don't like the fact that you can't do your own searching. Just collect the data on people and allow me to choose the criteria, don't do it yourself. Honestly, considering the ONLY time i've met with someone through online dating was when they contacted me, the set-up sounds good & now i'm considering it. 1
Jack32 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Oh gosh, I got my money back after the first 2 weeks on E-Harmony. Their "matching" system was bogus, at least for me. I got hundreds of matches, but not one of them was a real match. My problem was that I didn't want to date a man who had young kids living with him. I even put zero in the kid part (I don't remember the parameter question), and then "don't have kids" and "doesn't want kids"...there were 3 sections. Every single "match" was a daddy with a young kid living with him. It got to be so disappointing, because you think there is a possibility, then you get let down. I called their customer service to complain and they said "E-Harmony decided this wasn't a real issue for people your age"....I'm 44...their suggestion was to lower my age parameters...but I didn't want a younger guy. So it wasn't a solution for me. Oh, and they kept sending me matches of guys in their 60's too, my age range was 40-47. All around disappointing. So I complained, closed my account and got my money back! I met a nice guy on OKCupid recently though. Anyway, that's my own personal experience!! Sounds like their matchmaking system is definitely worthless. Thanks for sharing this though, I was thinking about making an account there before good thing I didnt!
River Rain Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Eharmesan is highly un-recommendable, at least from me. The matching is precarious and the system is sort of annoying. Although, I will still assume you get more serious people, but that has it's own problems. They charge $50 a month and produce non-compatible matches. I found their matching system annoying too, and disappointing. I don't mind serious, in fact I'm serious about finding a long-term relationship. I saw a lot of men on there who were sincere, but just not compatible for what I want out of a boyfriend. The company's biggest marketing ploy is "x levels of compatibility"...it's just marketing for lonely people. I'm happy for those who found their true love, but I think for the most part, it's a scam. 1
Sith Apprentice Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Eharmony was a waste of money. Don't be fooled by the commercials. 2
mtnbiker Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I don't hear of too many success stories with eharmony, but that doesn't mean it is awful or can't work for you. I've never used it. I found my ex on Match after just a month. One of my best friends found his wife of four years on Match. I am back on Match as of today and have a few women already winking at me and I am just an average dude.
yongyong Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 how can they possibly match you? based on just height, weight, income, hobbies etc?? Who the heck care about those unless you like their Face first?
phineas Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Born and raised in South Armpit! South towns! I'm a North-towns Boy. Growing up we didn't even have cable on our road. LOL! Gimmie a farm girl any day. 1
phineas Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I don't hear of too many success stories with eharmony, but that doesn't mean it is awful or can't work for you. I've never used it. I found my ex on Match after just a month. One of my best friends found his wife of four years on Match. I am back on Match as of today and have a few women already winking at me and I am just an average dude. I left my salary blank on match. did you fill it in? I'm also 5'8" and at the time was in damn good shape for a 40yr old. Still, I literally sent out 70 messages & almost zero response. And they weren't "hi" messages either. I've also seen a marked improvement in responses since listing my salary on POF & okcupid but still no meets. i'm torn on whether I should attempt match again.
monkey00 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I heard eharmoney caters towards Christian minded individuals. Not 100% sure, but you might already have heard or if not then you should look into it before you spend too much time on the site.
xdahliax Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I've also seen a marked improvement in responses since listing my salary on POF & okcupid but still no meets. I don't know if that's a good thing...
SmileFace Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I heard eharmoney caters towards Christian minded individuals. Not 100% sure, but you might already have heard or if not then you should look into it before you spend too much time on the site. Yeah, I think I failed the intial questions because it asked reasons to go to church and I answered free food, I am just teasing. However I have heard this before.
mtnbiker Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I left my salary blank on match. did you fill it in? I'm also 5'8" and at the time was in damn good shape for a 40yr old. Still, I literally sent out 70 messages & almost zero response. And they weren't "hi" messages either. I've also seen a marked improvement in responses since listing my salary on POF & okcupid but still no meets. i'm torn on whether I should attempt match again. I did list it and my salary is completely unimpressive right now as I am back in school and now working just part time. If you make a good salary I would always list that as it "may" convey ambition.
xdahliax Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I did list it and my salary is completely unimpressive right now as I am back in school and now working just part time. If you make a good salary I would always list that as it "may" convey ambition. Yeah, or it just conveys that you have money...
mtnbiker Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Yeah, or it just conveys that you have money... I agree wholeheartedly....that's why I typed "may". Someone may come from or come into money without ambition and work. 1
phineas Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Yeah, or it just conveys that you have money... I think the salary range to pick from is 30k to 50k & honestly anyone making more than 30k in WNY is doing better than most of the people on that site. The average woman I meet works a cubicle job making $12/hr if that. They usually have kids & are always broke & really don't bring anything to the table but are still looking for a guy to live with & support them. I may try match.com again with my salary listed since I see more professional women there. POF & OKcupid just seem to be unattractive women desperate for any guy & attractive party girls looking for a guy to support their "going out to dinner & traveling" habits. Considering how many attractive women show interest in me in real life (every where I go) i'm beginning to think very few non-overweight women on these free dating sites actually want to meet a guy or their standards are completely out of whack because I find myself messaging women i'd probably turn down in real life due to the fact they have nothing to offer but sex and i'm actually looking for a relationship with someone i'm attracted to who has a decent job and the last woman who said she just wanted to "have fun" turned into a stage 5 clinger, turned out to be married & was total nutters. 1
xdahliax Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I think the salary range to pick from is 30k to 50k & honestly anyone making more than 30k in WNY is doing better than most of the people on that site. The average woman I meet works a cubicle job making $12/hr if that. They usually have kids & are always broke & really don't bring anything to the table but are still looking for a guy to live with & support them. You really know how to depress me in the morning. I guess OkCupid is different amongst age groups. I'm 22 and I signed up for OkCupid 2 days ago out of boredom. I was like a kid at an amusement park! The profiles I've been reading are so clever compared to POF. Then again, I'm probably one of those people you hate because I'm online and viewing a whole bunch of profiles, getting a whole bunch of messages, and not even certain I want to meet anyone.
rhymes Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 In about 4 months on Eharmony I've had two really quality dating experiences, and am still on and off seeing one women who is a lawyer, stunningly beautiful and really quality person. Met another girl, we had a good connection, but we were lacking that preverbal "spark". After you're on their for a while, you do notice the quality of matches decreasing, but I'd say about once a week I find a lady who grabs my attention. I supplement it with other sites, but I've found eharmony to be worth while, even if it's only provided me with two real solid dates. If I were a bit less picky, that number would certainly be more like 5-7, but I'm pretty specific. A lot of good women on there if you have a wider range. Anyway, not absolutely amazing, but certainly worth the cost in my opinion.
phineas Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 You really know how to depress me in the morning. I guess OkCupid is different amongst age groups. I'm 22 and I signed up for OkCupid 2 days ago out of boredom. I was like a kid at an amusement park! The profiles I've been reading are so clever compared to POF. Then again, I'm probably one of those people you hate because I'm online and viewing a whole bunch of profiles, getting a whole bunch of messages, and not even certain I want to meet anyone. Well, i'm also going to be 41 next yr. I really don't think expecting a woman my own age to be able to support herself & her activities is really out of order. I'm already supporting an ex-wife I really don't need another woman to support. 1
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