A Messed Up Situation!

[thatguywithshoes]

Hello all, first off I am new here, woohoo! Anyways, my wife and I got separated officially on the second of January. At first we were kind of on edge with eachother but over the months we have been on great terms and have really been good friends, which is a great thing. I'd also like to add that we have an awesome daughter who just turned two a few weeks back! Now to the messed up situation...

 

So last Saturday after she got off of work and we were texting and well, lately I've been at the point where well, in a few more months our divorce will be finalized, and I am ready to really get in the mentality of moving on, so I pretty told her it is good that we are friends but maybe we should cut down on us hanging out and just chatting all the time. Lets just say that I have trust issues thanks to her and well, I want to be an open book. So I dropped that shpeel on her and well, she was pretty disheartened. Not mad at all, just sad. Well she hasn't been feeling well the past couple months and I've been urging her to go to a doctor and she finally did the following Tuesday after I told her we need to back off of being "buddy-buddy" mode, that it isn't healthy for us to move on, and they did a physical and took some blood tests. Well later that evening her doctor called me since she couldn't be reached at work saying she needs to come in ASAP for more blood tests, so I mader her another appointment that next morning and she went, did more blood samples, and we went our separate ways after that. On Thursday a doctor calls her from another office, and was pretty discrete from the sound of it and wants her to come in for a couple more tests, so they set an appointment and the doc gave the address of the office. Well, I looked up the address only to find that its the Regional Cancer Care Center a couple miles away. She is all happy go lucky because the first doctor she saw said they didn't see anything too suspicious other than a low blood platelet count but, considering how vague the next doctor was and no one mentioned cancer at all but, she is going to a place that STRICTLY specializes in the treatment of cancer patients, and well, I'm a bit more worried about it than her. While she is a little bothered by it she is wanting to be more buddy buddy and well, I don't want that. Whether she really is sick or not, I'll still be there for her but I honestly can't keep exhausting myself, my resources, nor my time for her, I just simple can't afford to do it anymore. Our whole separation period thus far I have done nothing but go the extra mile to help her out, while I really just get nothing in return. I watch our daughter more often than her so she can "go out", I'm buying the pull ups and wipes, she sees a shrink and is tearing up our insurance policy that I am still paying for until this day and well, she has alot of disregard for me but in a passive 'hope I don't notice' sense but, I do notice.

I guess when it comes down to it I am more angry, feel more used than ever, and I feel like the only reason I've been helping her along is for the sake of our daughter, so that my exwife to be can enjoy herself more, be less stressed, and be in a better mood around our daughter. I'm really hitting my limit guys, and I just don't know what to do, or how I should be feeling. It does worry me that she is sick but, I can't wait on her foot and hand anymore, you know? If she wants to mess around with these other guys, why don't they help her out, you know? But, I also still want to try to take care of her for our daughter's sake. Between a rock and a hard place here! Sorry for this being really lengthy, figured I'd just kind of project the situation in detail for a better reader's aspect!