Adults more biased than teens and children?

[kaylan]

I was in Walmart late last night, and these teenage kids were in the store. Prolly ranging from 15 to 18. Mixed company, though mostly white. They were your typical skateboarding hardcore kids. Hardcore kids, for those who dont know, are the kids in skinny jeans, beanies, eyeliner, stretched ears, other piercings, etc.

 

I saw that two of the black girls were dating two of the white boys and I smiled inside. And then I thought about it. Many times since my younger days, I feel the highest proportion of interracial dating I see happens with the 15 to 20 age group. Hell, this extends to height and weight differences too...hell....this extends to many differences.

 

Im 5'9 and dated a 5'11 girl for a little bit during the end of high school. Im black and have dated the rainbow. My friends did as well. Spanish kids dated white girls. Asian girls dated black boys. Shorter guys dated taller girls, and chubbier folks dated slimmer folks. There was a time where I worried what people would think if I dated who wasnt...and that wasnt until I was in adult world. Ive dated all sizes of girls in my teens, but my habits didnt become more conscious until I was about 20. And mostly because of the crap people would try and say about my dated choices. It took me a year about, to not give a fvk and just date who I like again without question.

 

However, I look back on some of my crushes since I was 15 and notice how as I got older, my taste normalized into something less varied. And I noticed the same thing with people around me too. In our youth, at least with the people I knew, no one gave a damn about race, height, the scene you were in, or weight much for that matter.

 

If there was attraction, you dated that person. And with raging teen hormones, you did just that. You indulged your attractions. But now as im older, 26...I notice the same thing...and even see younger people growing up and going on the same path.

 

It seems people start giving a damn about what everyone else things, rather than who gets them off. All of a sudden people seem to worry more about image and junk...even though its supposed to be the teen kids who care about image and junk. So many people my age and younger, that Ive seen grow up, all of a sudden start dating based on general norms. (same race, typical male-female height and weight differences, someone from the same social class, etc)

 

As kids all of that didnt matter so long as the person was attractive to you and clicked with you. Yes tastes change as we grow, and sure maybe we can say everyone grew up and found what they "really" liked....but from the way I hear people talk and from who I see them notice, it definitely seem to me that people are more preoccupied with how the adult world will perceive their relationship, instead of them simply going with attraction.

 

Their worried about being one of the only few girls to date a black guy, or the only indian boy to bring a white girl home. Hell, I have a friend whos always been attracted to white girls, but as he got older, refused to date them because he didnt want to disappoint his family. Then people are also worried about looking silly if their relationship doesnt represent typical male-female dimorphism (taller male, less weight female). And of course we know people care about class when dating, but I saw kids mix and match in high school.

 

I digress. It just seems like at a young age, before the world pollutes the minds of youth, that teens and little kids when they have crushes, dont give a damn about differences. They dont care if your muslim, black, white, short, tall, chubby, punk, jock. For all the stereotypes of how cliquey teens are, Ive always seen them mix more in terms of dating. If you were attractive to someone, thats what mattered.

 

Thoughts?

Edited October 6, 2012 by kaylan

[ThaWholigan]

Yeah, pollutes .

 

For example, I know my mother would be hugely disappointed if I brought home a white girlfriend. My dad, less so. I think they would be secretly a little annoyed if I brought back a girl who was anything but black! Which is a shame because I seem to get way more interest from white women than I do any other race and I do find white women attractive, albeit not as much as darker-skinned women. Attraction isn't really very limited for me.

 

I personally would rather risk my mother's annoyance by dating a non-black girl if I like her. I've already lost my virginity to a girl who wasn't black so.....

 

I've always been attracted to what I've been attracted to. I've learned over the years not to apologize for that or water it down. I'd say what I like has varied over the years more than it did when I was younger - I was more particular when I was younger. I liked the light skinned girls with pretty hair.

[yongyong]

I don't see anything wrong with that because Everybody is Like That as they get older.

 

Think about kindergarden, they look all the same and just mingle with each other.

Now watch Junior High, certain kids hang out with a certain group. I can't imagine chess players hanging out with a football team. It's mostly about their style and interest. (rich kids tend to hangout with other rich kids though)

 

When you become adults, you are going to be more biased. You are going to make friends based on social class.

 

The thing is people are like this but they want to deny it since they think it's being judgmental.

 

If I say 'I can't hangout with them because we are different yada yada' would they agree or call me judgmental while they are doing the same thing?

[kaylan]

^And seperatist behavior is what keeps people from getting along. It breeds negativity. And as I said in the OP, people sometimes stifle their attractions because of what they think everyone else will say, not always because of what they truly feel.

[irin]

as we grow older, we choose more discriminately, who we interact with.

 

however as child, or teenage you get to be around a diverse group of people in school, i used to go to a school with a large percentage of black kids, and Asians. we had no problems all being friends dating. etc... but now as an adult im mostly around my own kind, and the general population, basically the majority (white) and occasionally around other minorities. its natural