oaks Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 However I have approached guys in round about ways, " do you know what time the train comes"... This is the type of approach I get... and I'm so not expecting it that I take it at face value and tell them when the train is coming. 5 minutes later I think "hang on a moment... the information is in plain view on that giant departures board right here... so why does she need to ask me? Oh! I see! well, too late now! :(" (yes, I even think the sadface) 4
oaks Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 I almost forgot! I remember once a cute looking Eastern European (I think) woman was walking past - she looked quite hard-ass but she was cute. And she kept looking at me when walking past.....and then she suddenly turned around and shouted to me "COME OVER AND SPEAK TO ME". I was floored, I didn't know what to say! She just laughed and walked off. Wow! Sounds like a girl I know. She's very outspoken (but I'm not sure if she would do that). It's like she has no inner monologue, in that way that ((stereotypical generalisation alert...)) I've only ever seen in Eastern Europeans. 1
Author ThaWholigan Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 This is the type of approach I get... and I'm so not expecting it that I take it at face value and tell them when the train is coming. 5 minutes later I think "hang on a moment... the information is in plain view on that giant departures board right here... so why does she need to ask me? Oh! I see! well, too late now! :(" (yes, I even think the sadface) It happened to me as recently as 2 weeks ago
Pyro Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 There is its called being good looking:laugh: If someone is good looking but having a pissed off look on their face then they are not approachable. Hawaii said it right when he said that being attractive to other women is half the battle.
robaday Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Its happened a lot, two became long term girlfriends. I am slightly aloof (actually quite shy but i use it to my benefit) and i think some women are simply attracted to that, whereas some definitely arent. Ive found not giving them attention, when in a social group, when your friends all are, sometimes works just as well...... I love going out with one of my mates - were polar opposites and its great bouncing off each other. Hes direct, approaches and leads the conversation, Im slightly more aloof, distant but if its two girls, I find its a good combination;) having said that, its dependent on what "state" your in. If your feeling down/sluggish/tired/lot on your mind, you really wont pick up any signals even if there are some. If your upbeat, living in the moment....theres opportunity everywhere. Amazing how your mood/psychological state actually changes your perceptions of whos around you. In fact I read another poster write about this. When your confident, its not necessarily the confidence that gets you more women. Its simply that you notice more women, whereas when your down you dont have that perception that they may be interested....
Emilia Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I approach guys when I catch them looking at me but it hasn't worked for me generally speaking so I do it less frequently. Because I'm quite outspoken (Eastern European here ) I tend to get on better with assertive men, don't tend to mesh well with the shyer/less confident ones. So personally, to me it pays better if I see whether the guy will approach. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 A few weeks ago a woman said "excuse me" because she needed to get through the crowd at a sold out ballgame I was at. I don't suppose that counts as "approaching"?
somedude81 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 If someone is good looking but having a pissed off look on their face then they are not approachable. Hawaii said it right when he said that being attractive to other women is half the battle. Because it's so difficult to change the pissed off look. It's much easier gaining 50 lbs of muscle then it is to smile.
Pyro Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Because it's so difficult to change the pissed off look. It's much easier gaining 50 lbs of muscle then it is to smile. My point is that being good looking by itself will not make you more approachable unless you have a good attitude to go with it. For some people (even here) yes it is impossible to change their pissed off attitude. 1
somedude81 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 My point is that being good looking by itself will not make you more approachable unless you have a good attitude to go with it. For some people (even here) yes it is impossible to change their pissed off attitude. And having a good attitude/not looking pissed off will not make you more approachable unless you're good looking to go along with it. Lets be honest here, the good looking guy with a scowl will get far more attention from women then the ugly guy with a big smile. 1
Pyro Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 And having a good attitude/not looking pissed off will not make you more approachable unless you're good looking to go along with it. Lets be honest here, the good looking guy with a scowl will get far more attention from women then the ugly guy with a big smile. No one is universally unattractive. My point still stands that looks alone will not make you approachable.
NYC-BigKat Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 A predictable twist on RiverRunning's thread, I wanted to see how many men have actually been approached by women. I'm mid-20s and I have been approached on average a small handful of times every year. I often get asked for my name to reach me on the internet, and a few have asked for my number. It usually doesn't amount to much but it happens. I have had girls flirt with me and I have never clocked, sometimes it had been outrageously obvious comments, some sexual. I have got better at picking this up and it still occasionally happens. How often does it happen for you? Being flirted with, or asked out etc. Girls dont think much of me when they see me so the answer is no I guess .
xdahliax Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 (edited) I approach guys when I catch them looking at me but it hasn't worked for me generally speaking so I do it less frequently. Because I'm quite outspoken (Eastern European here ) I tend to get on better with assertive men, don't tend to mesh well with the shyer/less confident ones. So personally, to me it pays better if I see whether the guy will approach. I agree with this, but it hasn't stopped me from approaching guys. The problem is that once I've approached them I start thinking too far ahead and wonder how they will possibly survive being around my family (Slovenian) Another problem is that I can look like a serial killer if I don't force myself to smile. Edited October 8, 2012 by xdahliax
ascendotum Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I would never approach a guy. It's the guys job to do the approaching and pursuing and take the initiatives, not mine. Maybe you need to read cosmo more. Times have changed girls can be proactive and are allowed to have initiative these days. Where is your 'you go girl' attitude. Hawaii said it right when he said that being attractive to other women is half the battle.I think its a bit more then half the battle...more like 85% of the battle. As SD said not walking around all the time with a scowl is not that hard. Even then I know men & women like this who still do well. The good looking guy with attitude doesn't have to rely on being approached. Personality & character will factor in a bigger % long term compared to the short term but generally it is not what will basically be getting your foot in the door and getting dates. I still find with most people, looks come first as the primary attraction, then compatible personality becomes the secondary attraction.
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