jobaba Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 I see it. Although I sometimes wonder how much of it is merely "chicken and egg" in how it happens. For the record, I don't think you're a pointless whiner, I think your experiences have been unfortunate. Thanks man. I don't see how chicken and egg relates to being approached though. If you are attractive, people approach. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThaWholigan Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 Thanks man. I don't see how chicken and egg relates to being approached though. If you are attractive, people approach. I was referring to the bitterness. People should really guard against it as it will make things worse. Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Yeah, gay men have certainly hit on me, and when I tell 'em i'm not gay. Well.. that's just more tempting for them. I feel cocky now, saying i get hit a lot. lol. If I'm good, maybe I can come back next lifetime as you, 5-0!!! Maybe I can get a date with Grace Park. But it wouldn't make a difference, I'm sure I'd take it for granted unless I remembered my previous life. :lmao: I was referring to the bitterness. People should really guard against it as it will make things worse. Agreed. I know everything I'm SUPPOSED to say. Sometimes I think I should delete my account and create a new one. Then post about how women hit on me and flirt with me all the time and that I crave physical and emotional attraction. I'd be much more likeable, in cyberspace at least. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThaWholigan Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 Agreed. I know everything I'm SUPPOSED to say. Sometimes I think I should delete my account and create a new one. Then post about how women hit on me and flirt with me all the time and that I crave physical and emotional attraction. I'd be much more likeable, in cyberspace at least. Possibly! I always reference the bad/unfortunate things that happens in my dating life. It's about finding a balance. I don't advocate that people ignore the negatives at all - it's just that if you dwell on it so much and forget about the positive things that could happen, or does happen, or that one could cultivate, it becomes tedious for not just the readers but for the person themselves - further trapping them in that cycle. And women don't hit on me all that much. It happens, and I think it happens to a lot of guys - I am just probably not completely attuned to noticing it. I have become a lot better so I can identify instances where it happened, and I also know when certain girls changed their minds about me. Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 I was referring to the bitterness. People should really guard against it as it will make things worse. Im not even bitter anymore per se i just vent on here if you will but ive reached an almost apathetic level with women where i dont even look at them as sexual beings orsomething i can attain But as far as staying positive and all that cliche fluff im done with that 32 years of never being aproached never felt the warmth of a womens touch or any effection will leave anyone somewhat jaded or bitter to be blindly positive about the situation is idiotic to me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GirlontheLam Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 So are we talking about a "cold approach" or a contextual. I am chiming in as a woman here. I have never gone up to someone completely cold and started flirting. I have however, you know tried the whole sending signals: smiling, saying hi in passing, making eye contact sort of thing. But if I happen to be standing next to someone I find attractive in line. Or next to me at the bar or similar, I will absolutely chat you up. If it can look like it will go either way, like I am flirting or being friendly. Less risk of rejection. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 24 is early 20s early 20 - 23 (though 23 can be mid 20s sometimes) mid 24 - 26 late 27 - 29 Link to post Share on other sites
yongyong Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 almost all women don't have balls to approach men (they don't have it anyways) They will just look at you with a straight face and turn their heads as you make eye contacts. (I still do this with a hot woman I find very hard to approach) I became more keen to their approach even though it's very minimal. I would've totally ignored those signals if it was 5 years ago. The thing is I don't know how react to it and mess it up most of the time. It seems harder than when I am approaching. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 It's been at least five years since a woman has let me know she was interested or approached me. Link to post Share on other sites
mn311601 Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Here's your never answer. Never Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Usually women give men the come hither look until the guy approaches. That's how I met my ex. I walked up to a table of guys once and started flirting with one. The problem with this was we went on a date, I realized I didn't like the guy at all, and I felt guilty for approaching. I felt like I totally wasted his time and regretted being so forward. Women approaching men is generally a bad idea. A man is going to have a hard time turning a woman down if he's not interested, especially if she's pretty. It's better if men do the approaching (when they've been given signs to do so). Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Women approaching men is generally a bad idea. A man is going to have a hard time turning a woman down if he's not interested, especially if she's pretty. It's better if men do the approaching (when they've been given signs to do so). so what if a man doesnt ever get signs? dont approach at all then? Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Usually women give men the come hither look until the guy approaches. That's how I met my ex. I walked up to a table of guys once and started flirting with one. The problem with this was we went on a date, I realized I didn't like the guy at all, and I felt guilty for approaching. I felt like I totally wasted his time and regretted being so forward. Women approaching men is generally a bad idea. A man is going to have a hard time turning a woman down if he's not interested, especially if she's pretty. It's better if men do the approaching (when they've been given signs to do so). That makes me feel a little better when women say they generally don't approach. Especially the type that might be attracted to me is likely to be shyer and less forward. Makes me think maybe I'm not a total troll... Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie Harper Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 I am always the starter of conversation, but sometimes Ill smile and they will ask something. After communication starts I love when they feel there is a silence I stare at them and they will say " I know maybe its weird/improper/freaky/out of the blue....but do you have time for a coffee or something? I always stare at my watch and say "sure I got time"! I am not rich. not tall, Average looking but I have 2 things I am always clean and have a terrific smile and teeth...also I am a good listener... so I guess the answer is once a week is low 3 a week is a good one... I think that if a woman sees you as someone approachable and non threatening ...they will flirt if they like you... last week I got out to lunch every day and did not have to pay I got invited.... I offered to pay but they would not let me... (it was a great!) Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 That makes me feel a little better when women say they generally don't approach. Especially the type that might be attracted to me is likely to be shyer and less forward. Makes me think maybe I'm not a total troll... I'd say many women never have approached. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Usually women give men the come hither look until the guy approaches. That's how I met my ex. Haven't gotten one of those ever. Which probably explains why all of the girls who I thought were interested, only wanted to be friends, they never gave me the real signals. I'd say many women never have approached. As I said before, it's all about what you consider approached. I'm sure that just about every girl has had some guy ask for her number or want to go on a date with her. It doesn't matter if she knew the guy for 2 years or two minutes. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Its been quite a number of years since I had an obvious approach (females not gays). I'd say I've initiated over 95% of conversations with women in the past 5 yrs, excluding women lost and asking for directions type thing. If I included women in relationships the % would be lower. As for online, it was rare, and the women tended to look like bulgarian shot putters from the 70s. Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 so what if a man doesnt ever get signs? dont approach at all then? Sure, you can still it give a try, but don't set your expectations too high. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Haven't gotten one of those ever. Which probably explains why all of the girls who I thought were interested, only wanted to be friends, they never gave me the real signals. As I said before, it's all about what you consider approached. I'm sure that just about every girl has had some guy ask for her number or want to go on a date with her. It doesn't matter if she knew the guy for 2 years or two minutes. Just realized I misread her post. I had an imaginary "been" in there somehow. I mistakenly read it as "I'd say many women never have been approached." Which was not what iris said at all. Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Sure, you can still it give a try, but don't set your expectations too high. Oh belivee me after 32 years and no women they couldnt possibly be lower..i pretty much agree with your assesmewnt of not approaching unles theyres signs which is why i never approach women anymore Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 as often as you might imagine for a decent looking guy who holds himself well, is actively sociable, and is freqently found in social situations. i don't mind the attention for the most part. but for some reason, i get a bit annoyed when i've got a special lady on my mind (like right now), and the approacher doesn't get my signals that i'd rather not be flirted with right now though i try to be graceful about it anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 And.. I will say, oddly enough, I have no luck on Eharmony. I've never gotten contacted in the 5 months I've been on the site. That's weird. I've had 3 women initiate contact with me on eharmony in a month. None were knockouts or anything, but not bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Snowman219 Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 I think that is why you are so at ease with your situation even though you may never have had relations. And the reason why you have none of the bitterness of some of your peers I'm in my mid 30s. I have been approached zero times, and flirted with no times that I've known of. Sometimes I do think a girl might be giving off signals that she likes me, but I've been wrong all of time. When it comes to women, you're always wrong, get used to it. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 I've only been bluntly approached once. I am a retard when it comes to knowing when a women is flirting or just being nice though. My ex flirted with me for months and I was clueless (partly cause she was bad at it to). I guess they are flirting sometimes but i'm still really bad at knowing. It's so hard to tell if a women is just being nice or is flirting, especially if it's a quick encounter and a one time deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Snowman219 Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 If I'm good, maybe I can come back next lifetime as you, 5-0!!! Maybe I can get a date with Grace Park. But it wouldn't make a difference, I'm sure I'd take it for granted unless I remembered my previous life. :lmao: Agreed. I know everything I'm SUPPOSED to say. Sometimes I think I should delete my account and create a new one. Then post about how women hit on me and flirt with me all the time and that I crave physical and emotional attraction. I'd be much more likeable, in cyberspace at least. HA! I like this idea! Lets all act cool onlinez! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts