KatZee Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 OK so I'm pretty sure a lot on here has seen my story about my ex. Long story short, was with him for almost 3 years. He confessed to cheating (I stupidly stayed to try to work it out), then found out he had been lying to my face for pretty much the whole time, took me for granted, started emotionally abusing me at the end, wasn't a supportive partner, blah blah blah. He has a lot of issues. I stood by his side through a lot of stuff. I supported him, encouraged him, was the force behind him quitting his job, going back to school and getting into the career he truly wanted. I stood by his side through his infidelity, continued to justify his actions, made excuses for him. I truly believed I loved him more than anything. I would have done anything for him. I've been NC for over 4 months now. Any love I have for him is gone, the only thing remaining is some residual anger at times, but most of the time I think about him and am like, "whatever." I still participate on LS because I like helping people, I like to give support and speak about my experiences. The more I'm on LS the more I keep reading, "I've been NC for months, I still love him so much." Or "I'm devastated and at an all time low, I love him so much." Or "I can't keep NC, I can't move on." Or "No one else will ever compare." I'm looking at these threads and then I'm looking at myself... I walked out of my exes house 4 months ago and literally I think one tear came out. The whole time he's breaking up with me I'm just standing there staring at him. It maybe hurt A LOT for a couple weeks after he dumped me and then it was like, "whatever." I haven't had one issue remaining NC. I walked out and never looked back. I have no interest in talking to him, and after 3 years frankly don't care if I never speak to him again. I'm not interested in being a friend, having him in my life, don't care about him as a person at all. Does this mean I never really loved him? If it was honestly this easy for me to walk away, no slip ups, no texts, I just was like "bye!" and that was pretty much it. I realize it's only my ego that's upset. That he felt he had the reasons to end it when he didn't. I had the reasons. Other than that... he's a non-entity to me. I'm seriously questioning if I loved him for real if it was so easy for me to walk out of his life.
LostOne1 Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I always questioned myself the same thing... I mean during the relationship, I didn't care if I lost her. Then I lose her and it hurt. I don't know if it's because i DO love her, or loved being in a relationship and having a companion.. or what... But I can see what you feel. Maybe you didn't love the person as much, I think if you do. Then you'd want to make the chase for them even though it isn't right to do so. But that's my guess.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I think that everyone has a line that once it's crossed, that's all and that's it. He crossed whatever line you had set up. It doesn't mean that you didn't love him, it just means that he made a critical faux pas that you can't or don't want to get past. 3
The dot Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I'm looking at these threads and then I'm looking at myself... I walked out of my exes house 4 months ago and literally I think one tear came out. The whole time he's breaking up with me I'm just standing there staring at him. It maybe hurt A LOT for a couple weeks after he dumped me and then it was like, "whatever." I haven't had one issue remaining NC. I walked out and never looked back. I have no interest in talking to him, and after 3 years frankly don't care if I never speak to him again. I'm not interested in being a friend, having him in my life, don't care about him as a person at all. Does this mean I never really loved him? If it was honestly this easy for me to walk away, no slip ups, no texts, I just was like "bye!" and that was pretty much it. I realize it's only my ego that's upset. That he felt he had the reasons to end it when he didn't. I had the reasons. Other than that... he's a non-entity to me. I'm seriously questioning if I loved him for real if it was so easy for me to walk out of his life. It sounds like you learned to love yourself, which, contrary to what others will tell you, is a GOOD thing. You should love yourself more than anyone else in the world, that's just healthy. Sounds like you put up with crap for a while, then reached your limit and decided to move on with your life. Good for you. Whether you believe you ever truly loved him isn't important, what is important is that you're probably much happier now than you were with him. 1
LostOne1 Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I think that everyone has a line that once it's crossed, that's all and that's it. He crossed whatever line you had set up. It doesn't mean that you didn't love him, it just means that he made a critical faux pas that you can't or don't want to get past. good way of looking at it actually... I can see myself pushing my ex and crossing the line eventually which lead it to her just being fed up. I think my line is almost crossed too where im tired of the pain she put me through. To a point where I just don't care now... and I don't ever wanna care now. 1
LostOne1 Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 It sounds like you learned to love yourself, which, contrary to what others will tell you, is a GOOD thing. You should love yourself more than anyone else in the world, that's just healthy. Sounds like you put up with crap for a while, then reached your limit and decided to move on with your life. Good for you. Whether you believe you ever truly loved him isn't important, what is important is that you're probably much happier now than you were with him. is that healthy? My ex would tell me she loves me more than herself and anyone else. But I always loved myself first, because I felt if you don't love yourself you can't love someone else. For her I was the world to her, and nothing else mattered, not her family, friends, school etc... For me it was the opposite. I loved her, but I also wanted to love my family, friends etc.. and not just put her as a total #1 priority, but a balance. For her there was no balance. It was always about me.....
The dot Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 is that healthy? My ex would tell me she loves me more than herself and anyone else. But I always loved myself first, because I felt if you don't love yourself you can't love someone else. For her I was the world to her, and nothing else mattered, not her family, friends, school etc... For me it was the opposite. I loved her, but I also wanted to love my family, friends etc.. and not just put her as a total #1 priority, but a balance. For her there was no balance. It was always about me..... It's very healthy. Loving yourself doesn't mean you can't love anyone else. It just means that you will set healthy boundaries and not tolerate crap that you shouldn't tolerate. It also means you'll give the other person space to grow as an individual. BTW, your ex is an ex for a reason. 1
mpa Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I agree with Simon. A line was crossed. I don't think it means you never loved him, I just think you were sick of the BS. It's also easier to leave angry I think, and after you've given all you can and nothing will work. And not slipping up with NC I think just means you're a strong person. Even though you stood by him and put up with some nonsense, you are now able to put yourself first. For me, I know that contacting my ex will not get me the result I want, so I have no problem not calling him. But don't question the relationship or your feelings for him at the time. If you didn't love him would you really be able to tolerate him in your life like that for that long? I had a boyfriend once who after a while just started annoying me. His personality, his mannerisms, etc. I wasn't in love with him anymore, so I broke up with him. I think something like this would have happened to you if you didn't actually love him. 1
Floored Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I think Simon has a very good point, I know my ex crossed my line of reconciliation quickly by jumping right into sleeping around to have some shallow fun. That's good and well for some people, but that wasn't the person I loved, so it was quick to move on from there. Not that it didn't hurt any less, more-so perhaps since I went through so many emotions in like a month. Now there's next to nothing. I do remember your anger stage Kat, and I am somewhat embarrassed at how much enjoyment I got from your venting. Misery, company, all that. I think you have a very determined and maybe somewhat stubborn personality- much like myself- so once that path had been started, there was no going back, because that would just be more time wasted. He chose to hook up with a different woman for whatever reason, and there wasn't much choice for you in it. You loved him, but that doesn't mean that you had to feel it forever, especially since it was someone else that was pulling the plug. After the emotions are sorted, it's not hard to stay away from such selfishness. 2
Author KatZee Posted October 6, 2012 Author Posted October 6, 2012 I think that everyone has a line that once it's crossed, that's all and that's it. He crossed whatever line you had set up. It doesn't mean that you didn't love him, it just means that he made a critical faux pas that you can't or don't want to get past. You know what I think you hit the nail on the head. I do think I did love him at one point, but so much has happened I just can't comprehend from where we were to where we are now and how I went from one extreme to the next... I guess this makes sense as to why.
Author KatZee Posted October 6, 2012 Author Posted October 6, 2012 I agree with Simon. A line was crossed. I don't think it means you never loved him, I just think you were sick of the BS. It's also easier to leave angry I think, and after you've given all you can and nothing will work. And not slipping up with NC I think just means you're a strong person. Even though you stood by him and put up with some nonsense, you are now able to put yourself first. For me, I know that contacting my ex will not get me the result I want, so I have no problem not calling him. But don't question the relationship or your feelings for him at the time. If you didn't love him would you really be able to tolerate him in your life like that for that long? I had a boyfriend once who after a while just started annoying me. His personality, his mannerisms, etc. I wasn't in love with him anymore, so I broke up with him. I think something like this would have happened to you if you didn't actually love him. Yeah you're right. I don't think I would have stayed as long as I did if I didn't love him. Your story actually made me think of my ex-ex boyfriend. And now I can compare the two, because that's exactly what happened with him!
lovejoy41 Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 Hi Katzee, I'm the furthest away from a therapist but what I can tell you is what I think it was or is. I don't think that it wasn't that you didn't love him. I think it's that by the time that you left, you were not in love with him anymore. What I'm saying is after you took him back and he continued to mistreat you, you checked out on him emotionally at some point. Your body was present but your feelings for him probably weren't. You probably already knew that it was over long before you left him, so you were numb when the time came for you to walk. Almost like you knew that it was coming and had unconsciously already prepared yourself for it, so when it did there was nothing left to feel. I think that when you're emotionally abused that they drain you. So there's nothing left when you walk away from them. I experienced the same thing before I walked away from my 5 yr fwb. He verbally and emotionally abused me as well. I had all of this love and feelings for him and the whole time he abused me and walked all over me. When we last went out on 6/22 I noticed that my feelings for him begin to change. It was like I was there but kinda didn't want to be there at the same time. Almost like I disliked him. When he made his LAST trip to my bedroom and before we became intimate I really felt detached. We lay in the bed watching t.v miles apart(I have a King sized bed). In the past we used to cuddle but this time it was like I didn't want him to even touch me. Once again I was feeling detached and the dislike for him felt stronger. I guess he felt it and he asked "You Alright?". Heck, he probably was just as detached as I was because he was obviously screwing and seeing the gf whom he had living with him that I didn't know about at that time. Anyway, I knew in my heart then that this whatever we had was over and I was feeling that but just hadn't found the courage to walk yet. So I answered him with "Yep". Stupidly and shortly thereafter we had sex. That was the last trip he had in my bed before our argument on 7/18 about me finding out about the live in gf he'd taken to meet his parents. By the time I decided to walk away on 7/27 there was nothing. No tears, nothing not even one. I had recently heard since throwing his breadcrumbs(that I didn't respond to) that he was somewhat depressed. I don't know why?! He's got his girlfriend living with him. Probably because he never thought I would walk so now his ego is hurt. Men like him don't hurt because they feel hurt, they hurt because when you walk away from them(esp unexpectedly) it hurts their ego. It puts a mirror in front of them & they can't handle the fact that they are not in control of you anymore. So that's all his little bout of depression is about. So, I understand. My tears came later but I'm good now. I did love him but it's over and I love myself more. So I don't think it's that you didn't love him, I think that it's just the fact that your emotions/feelings were no longer there when you walked. You had been carrying the fact that it was over in your gut. If you were anything like me during the time he abused you, you probably had cried sooo much then that there were no tears left for you to cry when you walked. It's ok, you are fine. It's just that now that you've walked and not under the toxicity of your ex, you're seeing it clearly now. Its not that you didn't love him but you see that you were in love with the person that he could've been, not the person that he was when you walked. You were in love with someone who didn't exist and when you walked you'd saw him for who he really was & didn't love that person. I'm sorry I bombarded you with my long story and shifted it on me but it's the only way I could convey what you might be feeling. I felt the same thing at one point and as time went on I realized that it was exactly what I've shared with you. I hope that this helps. 1
Author KatZee Posted October 6, 2012 Author Posted October 6, 2012 I do remember your anger stage Kat, and I am somewhat embarrassed at how much enjoyment I got from your venting. Misery, company, all that. bwhahahahah that was truly awesome wasn't it?! lmfao. I think you have a very determined and maybe somewhat stubborn personality- much like myself- so once that path had been started, there was no going back, because that would just be more time wasted. He chose to hook up with a different woman for whatever reason, and there wasn't much choice for you in it. You loved him, but that doesn't mean that you had to feel it forever, especially since it was someone else that was pulling the plug. After the emotions are sorted, it's not hard to stay away from such selfishness. Oh that's me absolutely. Determined and stubborn I think are two descriptions people would give of me hahaha. I'm more or less the person who will be the nicest person ever, but when you cross my line, forget it. You're done. And there's no redemption. I see people who are able to forgive and have love for everyone, and sometimes I wish I were able to be that selfless and so open to "love" for everyone and everything but my a.ss will hold a grudge on a person for the rest of their lifetime.
lovejoy41 Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 Also I agree with everyone saying you loved yourself and it's true, when you love yourself you walk away with no tears or regrets. @LostOne Good point. I felt that too with him. He was always disrespecting me,always pushing me & crossing boundaries that I would normally never allow a man to cross. It was just getting worse & I was fed up.
mpa Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I don't think I would have stayed as long as I did if I didn't love him. Based on past posts of yours, you strike me as a generally strong person and wouldn't stay with someone just for the sake of having a boyfriend. So you loved him, case closed 1
Author KatZee Posted October 6, 2012 Author Posted October 6, 2012 Hi Katzee, I'm the furthest away from a therapist but what I can tell you is what I think it was or is. I don't think that it wasn't that you didn't love him. I think it's that by the time that you left, you were not in love with him anymore. What I'm saying is after you took him back and he continued to mistreat you, you checked out on him emotionally at some point. Your body was present but your feelings for him probably weren't. You probably already knew that it was over long before you left him, so you were numb when the time came for you to walk. Almost like you knew that it was coming and had unconsciously already prepared yourself for it, so when it did there was nothing left to feel. I think that when you're emotionally abused that they drain you. So there's nothing left when you walk away from them. I experienced the same thing before I walked away from my 5 yr fwb. He verbally and emotionally abused me as well. I had all of this love and feelings for him and the whole time he abused me and walked all over me. When we last went out on 6/22 I noticed that my feelings for him begin to change. It was like I was there but kinda didn't want to be there at the same time. Almost like I disliked him. When he made his LAST trip to my bedroom and before we became intimate I really felt detached. We lay in the bed watching t.v miles apart(I have a King sized bed). In the past we used to cuddle but this time it was like I didn't want him to even touch me. Once again I was feeling detached and the dislike for him felt stronger. I guess he felt it and he asked "You Alright?". Heck, he probably was just as detached as I was because he was obviously screwing and seeing the gf whom he had living with him that I didn't know about at that time. Anyway, I knew in my heart then that this whatever we had was over and I was feeling that but just hadn't found the courage to walk yet. So I answered him with "Yep". Stupidly and shortly thereafter we had sex. That was the last trip he had in my bed before our argument on 7/18 about me finding out about the live in gf he'd taken to meet his parents. By the time I decided to walk away on 7/27 there was nothing. No tears, nothing not even one. I had recently heard since throwing his breadcrumbs(that I didn't respond to) that he was somewhat depressed. I don't know why?! He's got his girlfriend living with him. Probably because he never thought I would walk so now his ego is hurt. Men like him don't hurt because they feel hurt, they hurt because when you walk away from them(esp unexpectedly) it hurts their ego. It puts a mirror in front of them & they can't handle the fact that they are not in control of you anymore. So that's all his little bout of depression is about. So, I understand. My tears came later but I'm good now. I did love him but it's over and I love myself more. So I don't think it's that you didn't love him, I think that it's just the fact that your emotions/feelings were no longer there when you walked. You had been carrying the fact that it was over in your gut. If you were anything like me during the time he abused you, you probably had cried sooo much then that there were no tears left for you to cry when you walked. It's ok, you are fine. It's just that now that you've walked and not under the toxicity of your ex, you're seeing it clearly now. Its not that you didn't love him but you see that you were in love with the person that he could've been, not the person that he was when you walked. You were in love with someone who didn't exist and when you walked you'd saw him for who he really was & didn't love that person. I'm sorry I bombarded you with my long story and shifted it on me but it's the only way I could convey what you might be feeling. I felt the same thing at one point and as time went on I realized that it was exactly what I've shared with you. I hope that this helps. Wow I think you got it right too... I just looked back and remembered something that I had forgotten... my ex tried to break up with me about 3 times throughout our relationship. I'm not sure if he truly wanted to, or if he was using it to threaten me, I think more so the latter since he was emotionally abusive, but he would act fine and then out of no where would Ice me out and then would blow up and go off on me, criticizing me up and down, telling me everything about me was a problem, my attitude, my way of life, the way I lived my life. He never acknowledged his part in any of the problems we had. My ex did this two times, where he would go off on me and then be like, "well things need to change or else..." and he would tell me that he wasn't happy didn't think we should be together, he would belittle me, make me feel like I was worthless, and then he'd be like, "but i really love you and I don't want to throw what we have out." After the second time he did this I was like, "He's going to keep doing this, he's going to do it again." And I said that I would give him ONE last chance to prove to me he was going to change, and treat me the way I deserved to be treated, but I told myself to cut him off emotionally and that I needed to keep him at arms distance. I think it was that day that I turned my love off for him and started loving myself more. I did detach myself. And I guess it's good I did because he DID pull that stunt again, except the third and final time was when he dumped me. And that's why I guess I just stared at him and had no tears. I was done. There was nothing left for him at all. 1
lil hoodlum Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 Of course you loved him! You only love yourself more to not put up with his behavior. Good for you! 1
veggirl Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 You were in a really s.hitty relationship so there isn't much to miss other than companionship, which you can get from anyone. Honestly the people on here who were in s.hit Rs and can't stay away etc have problems that have nothing to do with the relationship they were in. They have individual issues that you don't have. Those of us who were in GOOD, healthy Rs and are dealing with a break up....well obviously that's not easy to get over. That's my situation. It's been a month (a bit over) and I'm still devastated. We had a GREAT relationship and it's over, out of nowhere. I can't look back and see red flags, or infidelity or abuse that I ignored. There was none of that. (long story short, broke up bc he is moving across country and is not ready to committ to taking me with) 1
lovejoy41 Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 (edited) @Katzee Oh yeah, all of that sounds real familiar to me. My ex was the exact same way! And yes you're right it's the latter. My ex told me many times that "He was the captain and he's running the ship", "It's his way or the highway". He even said that "I need to get on the team, that I'm messing up the team"! Just crazy as hell Kat! Then he would say...."I understand if you want to leave me, you wouldn't be the first one that left me alone". They know that you're not going anywhere. It's a manipulation tactic that they use. It makes you feel guilty and feel sorry for them. And lord, the mood swings, the ups and down, the rages! Ugh! Of course this only works on those who have low self-esteem. Never would work on us now. I'm sure that if we could rewind & fast forward we would quickly say "See ya", "Kick rocks", or "Later"! Feels really good to be free from all of that now doesn't it?! Edited October 6, 2012 by lovejoy41
Calico Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 The more I'm on LS the more I keep reading, "I've been NC for months, I still love him so much." Or "I'm devastated and at an all time low, I love him so much." Or "I can't keep NC, I can't move on." Or "No one else will ever compare." [... ] I'm seriously questioning if I loved him for real if it was so easy for me to walk out of his life. I think the most significant difference between you and many of those posters is that you didn't sit around and wait. You were "done with this!", really REALLY done, and you didn't count the days thinking "hmm, he still didn't contact me". It makes all the difference between "active healing" and "passive healing". NC by itself doesn't heal you, it just provides a protective bubble so that you can work on everything. If people don't work, they don't really get your results. I don't know if it was so easy for you. You did put quite a bit of energy into your anger and while, admittedly, it was often quite sexy, it's not like it didn't require heaps of focus on "moving forward". Anger doesn't work for me, but it did for you and it's certainly better than depression! Results matter. I think Simon's right about the line, though I seem to have a rather high tolerance level for bulls.hit (comes with my job, I think), so it took me longer to snap out of the "but I love her, so I must suffer and stick around" idiocy. I did that eventually and "acceptance" works decently so far. Been a month of NC. At this pace, I'll be "fine" in another three months, too, and it's hard work. I admire how "finished" you were with it all. I still have times where I wonder, dwell and regret, but getting through and beyond that IS the work. I don't know if many people do that work (re-adjusting thoughts, keeping focus, etc.). You did. 2
Author KatZee Posted October 6, 2012 Author Posted October 6, 2012 I think the most significant difference between you and many of those posters is that you didn't sit around and wait. You were "done with this!", really REALLY done, and you didn't count the days thinking "hmm, he still didn't contact me". It makes all the difference between "active healing" and "passive healing". NC by itself doesn't heal you, it just provides a protective bubble so that you can work on everything. If people don't work, they don't really get your results. Absolutely. NC was really what helped me through this. Just like a bandaid, right off. In the beginning I did WISH he would contact me, apologize, say SOMETHING. But I wasn't sitting around waiting for it. I don't know if it was so easy for you. You did put quite a bit of energy into your anger and while, admittedly, it was often quite sexy, it's not like it didn't require heaps of focus on "moving forward". Anger doesn't work for me, but it did for you and it's certainly better than depression! Results matter. Meow? No seriously though, it was absolutely hard walking away from the one person I thought would be in my life always, but maintaining that NC was not an issue at all. It did require A LOT of focus to keep it moving forward, especially when it got into that anger stage (which everyone seems to remember so well... eek ) Even when I thought it was over with, I've found myself slipping back into it just a little bit--- since yesterday was my birthday and although I was not expecting ANYTHING I was mad that certain people I thought were friends didn't even bother to wish me a happy birthday. Again, they clearly took HIS SIDE even though he was a POS to me for so long. I will never get it.
Calico Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Meow? Is this where I climb into your lap, swish my fluffy tail and start purring happily? No seriously though, it was absolutely hard walking away from the one person I thought would be in my life always, but maintaining that NC was not an issue at all. It did require A LOT of focus to keep it moving forward, especially when it got into that anger stage (which everyone seems to remember so well... eek ) Actually, after I had broken NC on the third day (when I got the "miss you" emails) and her reaction to the call was absolutely not what the emails had indicated (more precisely, when my projections were not accurate!), I didn't have all that much trouble staying NC either. I'm still not angry at her (growing increasingly glad that I eventually saw her true colors), but I had enough of her issues and her bull. Two things did it during that final conversation: a) telling me that she "can't do that right now" (such a surreal, disrespectful, cowardly and stupid line) and b) worrying about her "schedule" when I was falling apart. The latter pissed me off enough to snap out of it. I took a lot of her antics, but if I'm so little appreciated then I'm gone. I'm not insecure enough to not realize that I am not such a terrible catch, so that little comment was the final straw that got me to the "You don't deserve me!" point. A relationship where in the end I was a willing doormat was never healthy in the first place. It's certainly not who I am. Even when I thought it was over with, I've found myself slipping back into it just a little bit--- since yesterday was my birthday and although I was not expecting ANYTHING I was mad that certain people I thought were friends didn't even bother to wish me a happy birthday. Again, they clearly took HIS SIDE even though he was a POS to me for so long. I will never get it. Her and I luckily didn't share close friends, just some co-workers, but they seem to have stayed pretty neutral. Or, well, I growled at everyone who started to touch the topic, and apparently I'm intimidating enough so that everyone respected that. My friends (I don't have that many, but I think I use the term more restrictively than most), all of them females, have been pretty awesome and pretty much all told me to "f.uck her and this". Women are surprisingly critical and unforgiving of other women. As for your friends ... looks like your birthday provided you with a fantastic opportunity to filter out some people and trim down your list of friends a little. It's good to know who you can count on and who has been in your life for the wrong reasons or lacks the spine to stand by you. And ... HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! (Did I just really use that "smiley"?!) Here's to a new year of meeting worthwhile people who appreciate you and are loyal to you!
Author KatZee Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 Is this where I climb into your lap, swish my fluffy tail and start purring happily? Don't tempt me. Love cats. Actually driving back home to my parents house to stay over tonight and I'll get to see my own little fur ball. Can't wait! I'm gonna smoosh her and squish her and kiss her little pink nose off. It's gonna fall right off. <--- Yeahhh I'm one of these. =^_^= And I'm actually seeing that too about the women not being forgiving. The girls I thought were my friends completely snubbed me! For what?! I have no idea. But they took his side, and deleted me off FB and it was just not a nice feeling. Especially when I had done NOTHING to these people. I always keep my nose clean, I hate drama, and for three years I bent over backwards for them, being the nicest I could possibly be. (Back story is that they hated me from day one without even knowing me... they held loyalty to his ex, and when I came around, forget it. I was satan to them.) Eventually we became friends, and I hung out with these people WITHOUT my bf at the time. So we were friends. Whatever. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! THANK YOU!!! And yes, new people, and true people!
Svet74 Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 I think after 3 yrs you just got fed up with him and realized that he wasnt going to change. My aunt once told me a woman will stay with a man who is not good to her for up to 3 yrs. No longer, then she leaves and once she goes she never comes back.. its so true. Ive seen that time frame happen to many of my close friends
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