Frogwife Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 So in effect, you've managed to reduce the size of your dating pool using the...mystery method. Haha - true! Sounds like an exhausting way to live a life... being so...."mysterious"...
Author MrCastle Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 (edited) Haha - true! Sounds like an exhausting way to live a life... being so...."mysterious"... I'm not some sort of spy living a double life. I just spend the bulk of my time charming her, talking about deep or broad topics like our passions/dreams, goals, or just life in general. I don't ask stuff like "hey did you see jersey shore last night!", I don't bore her with minute details of my life. When we talk, it's always interesting, or deep. When we date, it's pure magic. Throughout this entire dance, I share very little personal details of my life. Keep away from controversial topics like politics and the like. All she needs to know, is I dig her, and I want to make her feel things she's never felt before. That's pretty much it. I tell her that's how it's gonna be, so she understands it and agrees to play her role. I play my role of the seducer, I then execute a complete and total seduction, she loves me for it, and when the seduction process is over and we've had our fun, it's time to go our separate ways. I get very little joy out of being just a regular guy and getting laid here and there. I want to be the guy. I want her to tell her friends about me. I want her to say to herself "wow; now that was quite a man". Dudes in my age group for the most part, are all the same. I feel like men can be doing more to stand out. Do more to create a magical experience. Most guys settle for the regular. I set my sights higher. I want to be remembered. Edited October 7, 2012 by MrCastle
Frogwife Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 I'm not some sort of spy living a double life. I just spend the bulk of my time charming her, talking about deep or broad topics like our passions/dreams, goals, or just life in general. I don't ask stuff like "hey did you see jersey shore last night!", I don't bore her with minute details of my life. When we talk, it's always interesting, or deep. When we date, it's pure magic. Throughout this entire dance, I share very little personal details of my life. Keep away from controversial topics like politics and the like. All she needs to know, is I dig her, and I want to make her feel things she's never felt before. That's pretty much it. I tell her that's how it's gonna be, so she understands it and agrees to play her role. I play my role of the seducer, I then execute a complete and total seduction, she loves me for it, and when the seduction process is over and we've had our fun, it's time to go our separate ways. I get very little joy out of being just a regular guy and getting laid here and there. I want to be the guy. I want her to tell her friends about me. I want her to say to herself "wow; now that was quite a man". Dudes in my age group for the most part, are all the same. I feel like men can be doing more to stand out. Do more to create a magical experience. Most guys settle for the regular. I set my sights higher. I want to be remembered. Haha -I put mysterious in quotes because it's not mysterious at all... it's a sad plan in your own head that only you are aware of... trust me, no woman is thinking "wow, he's soooooo mysterious...he may or may not play videos games three hours a day but he's so mysterious that I'll just have to get to know him more to find out..."...haha - but whatever gets you through the day... I'd suggest putting down the PUA materials and just be yourself instead of trying to construct some convoluted "image" that is visible only to you!
Author MrCastle Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 (edited) Haha -I put mysterious in quotes because it's not mysterious at all... it's a sad plan in your own head that only you are aware of... trust me, no woman is thinking "wow, he's soooooo mysterious...he may or may not play videos games three hours a day but he's so mysterious that I'll just have to get to know him more to find out..."...haha - but whatever gets you through the day... I'd suggest putting down the PUA materials and just be yourself instead of trying to construct some convoluted "image" that is visible only to you! Forget pua. I just don't like regular dating. I don't like the typical take a girl to a bar or a coffee shop type of situation. I'd much rather go for a walk on the beach at night, stargaze on the beach at night, lay down on the hood of my car and talk about our dreams. I was doing this before I had any working knowledge of what pua was. I'm just a dreamer and hopeless romantic by nature. Women seem to really like it and I have yet to run into a woman whose left me over it. Women constantly bash men on here over their dating practices and try to play it off as no woman would fall for it or blah blah blah. It works (for me) and it works pretty effectively. I have no plans to change what I do--the only circumstance would be when looking for a longterm mate, as life cannot be a honeymoon 24/7. In dating though, why not? Why not treat it theatrical? Like I said, both parties are getting something out of it. Edited October 7, 2012 by MrCastle 1
Frogwife Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Forget pua. I just don't like regular dating. I don't like the typical take a girl to a bar or a coffee shop type of situation. I'd much rather go for a walk on the beach at night, stargaze on the beach at night, lay down on the hood of my car and talk about our dreams. I was doing this before I had any working knowledge of what pua was. I'm just a dreamer and hopeless romantic by nature. Women seem to really like it and I have yet to run into a woman whose left me over it. Women constantly bash men on here over their dating practices and try to play it off as no woman would fall for it or blah blah blah. It works (for me) and it works pretty effectively. I have no plans to change what I do--the only circumstance would be when looking for a longterm mate, as life cannot be a honeymoon 24/7. In dating though, why not? Why not treat it theatrical? Like I said, both parties are getting something out of it. Well, good, if it works for you, it's effective and you have no plans to change it, then why the original question? It doesn't really matter if we (women) think it's a turn on or turn off, right?
Author MrCastle Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 Well, good, if it works for you, it's effective and you have no plans to change it, then why the original question? It doesn't really matter if we (women) think it's a turn on or turn off, right? I'm curious as to what women think. I'd assume most women dig mysterious, but it depends on what the guy is mysterious about. I do think it's an art form that has to be crafted just right for it to work. Or else like someone mentioned earlier, you come across as a creepy guy with something to hide. But ultimately, I think it's human nature to want to solve a puzzle, to chase someone hard to catch, etc etc. Very few people in the dating world go after or end up with those that make everything easy. Girls don't date guys that bend to their every command, men don't seriously date girls who put out easily. Most of us end up with people we had to work for a little bit.
xdahliax Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 I'm just wondering why you asked for anyone's opinion because you just keep going back on the same arguments for why you're doing it. I think the general consensus on this thread is that women don't like what you're doing or don't think it is beneficial for you. You can keep doing what you want, or not, but now it feels like we're running in circles. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 I just spend the bulk of my time charming her, talking about deep or broad topics like our passions/dreams, goals, or just life in general. I don't ask stuff like "hey did you see jersey shore last night!", I don't bore her with minute details of my life. When we talk, it's always interesting, or deep. . When we date, it's pure magic I really doubt it. A person cannot be "deep" and be coming from the same place that you claim to be. Any girl with a reasonable faculty for discernment would know that such "deep magic" is a silly ruse. I want to be the guy. I want her to tell her friends about me. I want her to say to herself "wow; now that was quite a man". Dudes in my age group for the most part, are all the same. I feel like men can be doing more to stand out. Do more to create a magical experience. Most guys settle for the regular. I set my sights higher. I want to be remembered. The more you write about this, the more I think that there is probably a HUGE disconnect between the way you think you are perceived, and the way you really are perceived. Unless you limit your "magic" to really, really stupid or inebriated girls. Sorry. I really do like you, but this whole thing sounds borderline pathetic to me and I think you should see how letting yourself be known would work. At least a little.
threebyfate Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Forget pua. I just don't like regular dating. I don't like the typical take a girl to a bar or a coffee shop type of situation. I'd much rather go for a walk on the beach at night, stargaze on the beach at night, lay down on the hood of my car and talk about our dreams. I was doing this before I had any working knowledge of what pua was. I'm just a dreamer and hopeless romantic by nature. Women seem to really like it and I have yet to run into a woman whose left me over it. Women constantly bash men on here over their dating practices and try to play it off as no woman would fall for it or blah blah blah. It works (for me) and it works pretty effectively. I have no plans to change what I do--the only circumstance would be when looking for a longterm mate, as life cannot be a honeymoon 24/7. In dating though, why not? Why not treat it theatrical? Like I said, both parties are getting something out of it.If you were doing this prior to PUA and it worked for you, why did you need to go the PUA route? This doesn't add up at all. As far as being a dreamer, I'll have to agree with this, especially as evidenced within this thread with references to wanting to be "the man who chicks talk about". You have a strong desire to "be someone" in order to tap self-esteem. This is why PUA attracts since the underlying premise of PUA is to use women to stroke egos. It dehumanizes women to the level of object usage and while I think it's a great idea for guys who put women on pedestals to stop that silly nonsense, when it comes to emotionally healthy attitudes, it's better to perceive women as other people with thoughts, dreams and feelings too. PUA creates monsters since it creates a looping effect in men. They vampire self-esteem off women. Take a close look at narcissism and narcissistic supply. As a deep person, you should be able to comprehend and map the underlying premise of PUA to narcissism. 1
Author MrCastle Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 (edited) If you were doing this prior to PUA and it worked for you, why did you need to go the PUA route? This doesn't add up at all. As far as being a dreamer, I'll have to agree with this, especially as evidenced within this thread with references to wanting to be "the man who chicks talk about". You have a strong desire to "be someone" in order to tap self-esteem. This is why PUA attracts since the underlying premise of PUA is to use women to stroke egos. It dehumanizes women to the level of object usage and while I think it's a great idea for guys who put women on pedestals to stop that silly nonsense, when it comes to emotionally healthy attitudes, it's better to perceive women as other people with thoughts, dreams and feelings too. PUA% Edited October 7, 2012 by MrCastle
Author MrCastle Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 I really doubt it. A person cannot be "deep" and be coming from the same place that you claim to be. Any girl with a reasonable faculty for discernment would know that such "deep magic" is a silly ruse. The more you write about this, the more I think that there is probably a HUGE disconnect between the way you think you are perceived, and the way you really are perceived. Unless you limit your "magic" to really, really stupid or inebriated girls. Sorry. I really do like you, but this whole thing sounds borderline pathetic to me and I think you should see how letting yourself be known would work. At least a little. Just stop it. Save it. Either you're not understanding what I'm saying or I'm not explaining myself very well. Either way, the disconnect is not between me and these women but rather myself and you. Why would you question the character of women you never met? Assume they must be "stupid" or "inebriated" to enjoy what it is I do? Big time assumption on your part and it's a wrong one. How often do we see women complaining that there are no good men left, that men aren't romantic enough, that they're not getting what they want, etc etc. I'm giving women what they're looking for and being honest about it. There is no "ruse", there is no deceptive ploy; I tell them I want to treat them to an experience they rarely, if ever experienced, and they enjoy it. The only mystery aspect that comes into play is me believing the less they know about me, the better. I don't lie about stuff, I just keep my personal life private, and stay away from things that would make me come across as just another guy. Look at girls that have one night stands? How much do they know about the guy? This is almost the same idea except it's not a one night thing, it's a dance that can go on for weeks or months. I don't understand what the problem is? Regular run of the mill dating habits bore me. If I'm going to choose to remain single, I want to at least have some interesting experiences. No one is getting hurt. The minute a girl gets too attached I remind her what my intentions are and if that's not enough I cut it off, because I don't want to manipulate or use women. The slightest sign of attachment, I intervene. As far as how I'm perceived, if I'm judging by the responses I'm getting; they actually see me as bigger than what I intended. It sometimes puts pressure on me to live up to the image they have of me, but again, it's my own doing so I can't complain. If they saw me as a phony guy who tried too hard or whatever you think I'm coming across as, they would have nothing to do with me. That has not been the case.
Author MrCastle Posted October 7, 2012 Author Posted October 7, 2012 If you were doing this prior to PUA and it worked for you, why did you need to go the PUA route? This doesn't add up at all. As far as being a dreamer, I'll have to agree with this, especially as evidenced within this thread with references to wanting to be "the man who chicks talk about". You have a strong desire to "be someone" in order to tap self-esteem. This is why PUA attracts since the underlying premise of PUA is to use women to stroke egos. It dehumanizes women to the level of object usage and while I think it's a great idea for guys who put women on pedestals to stop that silly nonsense, when it comes to emotionally healthy attitudes, it's better to perceive women as other people with thoughts, dreams and feelings too. PUA% What the hell happened to my post? Oh well. I'll try to write from memory. Basically, this dreamer side of me has always existed. I just couldn't find a woman to use it on. I would say my recent successes are less about what I know about pua, and more about trial and error, finding my own style, and just gaining a better understanding of women through experience. I was doing the mystery thing before I even knew "mystery method" was a pua technique and to be quite honest, I never read any mystery material, although I'd assume it's similar to what I do. As far as narcissism goes--I've definitely identified with being a narcissist on more than one occassion but I'm not quite sure how that fits here. I guess in terms of wanting to stand out above others, but at the same time, I chalk that up to just taking pride in my work. I get pleasure from pleasing women, and knowing that I was the one to make it happen. I take pride in all other areas of life. In my career, in furthering my education and maintaining good grades, I don't see why my relationships with women would be any different. I'm not one of those guys who brags about numbers or is trying to reach certain numbers; quality over quantity always; but I do take pleasure in knowing I'm getting these women very excited. I like being that guy. We're both getting something out of it. They know full well what I'm doing and they enjoy it. Those super passionate romantic flings you mostly only get from fiction novels or movies, I try to provide in real life. They enjoy it, I enjoy it; no one gets hurt. I'd expect more backlash from guys who are lazy in their romantic efforts, as we always see women complain about how most men they meet aren't interesting enough, or romantic enough, etc. I try to set myself apart from those men; that's all I'm doing.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Why would you question the character of women you never met? Assume they must be "stupid" or "inebriated" to enjoy what it is I do? Big time assumption on your part and it's a wrong one. Okay, I'm projecting. If I felt a magical once in a lifetime connection with a guy and later found out that it was a "routine" he does with any woman he's interested in screwing for a few weeks, I would feel very stupid. Or I might have fallen for it if I was drunk. Probably not, though. I'm giving women what they're looking for No, you are NOT. Any woman who goes for fake "magic" and "depth" is NOT looking for a "dance" that is choreographed 100% by you, and where her role could be played by any number of cyphers. She thinks there is more. And if she doesn't, I doubt she's experiencing all the magic you think she is. Anyway, according to you, it's all working fine. I guess you see yourself as a Lothario of sorts. It wouldn't have worked on me when I was young, though, or on any women I've known. The "mystery" would definitely be read as either a terribly bereft life, a stinginess about sharing, or concealment. Do you think you'll ever be interested in a woman, or is it just not in you?
Author MrCastle Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 (edited) Okay, I'm projecting. If I felt a magical once in a lifetime connection with a guy and later found out that it was a "routine" he does with any woman he's interested in screwing for a few weeks, I would feel very stupid. Or I might have fallen for it if I was drunk. Probably not, though. No, you are NOT. Any woman who goes for fake "magic" and "depth" is NOT looking for a "dance" that is choreographed 100% by you, and where her role could be played by any number of cyphers. She thinks there is more. And if she doesn't, I doubt she's experiencing all the magic you think she is. Anyway, according to you, it's all working fine. I guess you see yourself as a Lothario of sorts. It wouldn't have worked on me when I was young, though, or on any women I've known. The "mystery" would definitely be read as either a terribly bereft life, a stinginess about sharing, or concealment. Do you think you'll ever be interested in a woman, or is it just not in you? I've been seriously interested in women, of course. I love women. Love and respect them despite what some on here may believe in this thread or in others which I have started. I could get really sappy since I write poetry and talk about everything I love about women but it would be a pointless exercise. When I am interested in a woman, I try to find out what she's been missing in her romantic life, and fill that void. Most women, in my experience, have lacked true passionate; romantic encounters. The ones they read about in books and then slap their husbands on the arm and say "why can't you be more like that?" I see it as a challenge for myself to be able to be that guy they've read about, or seen in movies. I feel gratified when women say things like "I've never felt this before", "you're not like most guys", etc. I'm 24 years old, the bulk of my age group are more into "getting laid, yo" than they are providing a unique experience to women. They're doing the bare minimum in my opinion and I use that romantic void as my edge. You say you wouldn't fall for it, but I doubt it. It reminds me of people that read about a stabbing or something on the subway and say "that wouldn't be me, i'd totally slap the knife out of their hands and run away"--unless you're in something, you really don't know. The vast, vast majority of women love charm, and romance, and passion. If you took what I do, and matched it up against a regular guy's, I'm sure more often than not, women would pick what I do. Is what I do a matter of stroking my own ego? Making myself feel better, or special? Possibly, but I don't see why it's destructive behavior. I don't just pick any woman and use her then move on, these are women I truly dig and am seriously attracted to, and the feeling is mutual. We do our little dance of seduction, and off we go. I admit my dating model is not built for the long term, because I don't give the woman a chance to know me fully, and you also can't keep up this passionate burst of energy going 24/7/365. I've already said, I'll have to tweak my approach when looking for a long term mate, but as far as short term dating, I don't understand why my model is wrong. I take a girl out, give her something she rarely, if ever, gets to experience, and that's it. Edited October 8, 2012 by MrCastle
xdahliax Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 You're right, women do like charm and passion. But they like to think that they are the reason that you feel so passionate and do all these magical things. They want to feel like they're special to you and that this might actually end up somewhere, not like this is a routine you've rehearsed and that they're one in a long line of conquests.
Author MrCastle Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 You're right, women do like charm and passion. But they like to think that they are the reason that you feel so passionate and do all these magical things. They want to feel like they're special to you and that this might actually end up somewhere, not like this is a routine you've rehearsed and that they're one in a long line of conquests. Well I can definitely see that and understand a woman being guarded when it comes to that--but I definitely tailor my approach to the specific woman. I don't see women as faceless asses and legs that all fall for the same routine. I don't say "oh I'll take this girl here because the last chick loved it!"--I find out what the woman in question's interests are, her likes and dislikes--let's say she mentions something about horses. About how she loves horses and thinks they're graceful or beautiful of whatever. I may use that info and surprise her with a trip to a riding stable, or something similar. I use what girls tell me and read between the lines. The base of my technique is surprise, intrigue, playfulness, romance, and passion. How I use those elements are unique to the individual woman.
xdahliax Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Well I can definitely see that and understand a woman being guarded when it comes to that--but I definitely tailor my approach to the specific woman. I don't see women as faceless asses and legs that all fall for the same routine. I don't say "oh I'll take this girl here because the last chick loved it!"--I find out what the woman in question's interests are, her likes and dislikes--let's say she mentions something about horses. About how she loves horses and thinks they're graceful or beautiful of whatever. I may use that info and surprise her with a trip to a riding stable, or something similar. I use what girls tell me and read between the lines. The base of my technique is surprise, intrigue, playfulness, romance, and passion. How I use those elements are unique to the individual woman. Do you tell these women that you have no intention of getting into an LTR? They may feel like you are putting a lot of emphasis on what they want, therefore you must be falling for them. That's most likely why they get too attached.
Author MrCastle Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 Do you tell these women that you have no intention of getting into an LTR? They may feel like you are putting a lot of emphasis on what they want, therefore you must be falling for them. That's most likely why they get too attached. When we talk about relationships or our expectations I'll usually say something like "I'm not looking for a relationship. I don't understand why people get involved with one person"--pretty much the same lines I used in my recent thread about long term relationships. I believe in complete honesty when it comes to matters of the heart. I'm not trying to manipulate and/or use these women. I just present myself as a moment. A moment in time where you let yourself go, surrender yourself to me totally, and enjoy the ride. So maybe I'll do something like send a girl a vague text like "Tomorrow. 8pm. Be outside"--then that next night I'll drive to her place, put a blindfold on her, kiss her forehead softly, nibble on her neck and whisper in her ear "I've got a surprise for you"--then proceed to drive her to the surprise date I've set up. This kind of stuff wears me out, and I really can't see myself doing this for considerable lengths of time, like 6 months, a year, etc. Eventually, we'd have to return to a realistic lifestyle, complete with nights spent on the couch watching movies. I know there is a different kind of romance involved in that kind of stuff but it's not for me. I'd rather exciting, over the top, creative dates/experiences. Ultimately, I'd want to settle down with a girl who loves me as much in glasses and pajamas on the couch, as she does when I'm dressed GQ sharp, taking her on an exotic date, but 1.) I'm not ready for that kind of intimacy and 2.) Have not found a woman worthy of getting the full, vulnerable me. 1
SmileFace Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Bit off topic You know when women come her bitching about how the guy who tells them that he isn't looking for a relatiionship but is so nice to them and he is leading them on...haha Anyway it just reminded of this thread. 1
Author MrCastle Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 You gotta love my weekly singles horoscope: You love to project an air of mystery, but answer as honestly as you can if a date asks you direct questions at the beginning of the week. Your secretive shtick could get old. You'll lose this person's interest if you don't open up more than usual. It might not be easy to make stimulating conversation on a blind date over the weekend, so pick an interesting location so you have something to talk about.
monkey00 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 (edited) So the biggest thing in my dating arsenal is mystery. I don't facebook, I don't take part in over exposing myself or my life for the interwebs to see. I've noticed things like that have increased interest in some girls. The fact that I'm not as easy to get a hold of, the fact that I don't put myself out there in the 24/7 social media cycle, it's given me an edge. I enjoy showing people only what I want them to see, as opposed to having unflattering pictures of myself tagged on facebook or having people leave embarassing posts on my wall and whatnot. I kind of present myself as a moment. A guy that shows up in your life unexpectedly and just wants to have a good time with you. I say few words, but the words I do say hold a lot of weight. I rarely give people my last name unless I absolutely have to. I'm sure there are some girls who see a guy like me and think I'm hiding something or I'm a player trying to minimalize my chances of getting caught, but that's not it; I find mystery sexy and a pretty big turn on. The more you know about someone, the more likely you are to find out something about them you don't like. The more you see of someone, the more "regular" and accessible they appear, and we all know we like chasing those that are hard to get. So tell me, does mystery turn you on? I pulled that mystery card when I was younger. All the while I was totally clueless about women and about courting them. Lots of women and guys assumed I was a player because of my quiet / strong silent type nature, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. Now that I've grown into myself, I understand myself better and have grown into myself. I understand your argument about the more you know about someone the less fascinated /uninterested they might become when they get to know you better. I used to have that fear when younger. But here's my argument: if someone finds out something about you that they don't like or might get bored of the 'real' you, then that person probably isn't worth your time and doesn't deserve your respect. Become an interesting and well rounded person that gets people to be fascinated by you and respect you, work on self-improvement...but do it solely for yourself and of your own ambitions and not anyone else's. Anyway if that works for you and you want to keep it up great. But there's a fine balance to walk. You can't be a mystery forever or be secretive about yourself if you plan on fully developing a mature lasting relationship with that special girl. As for the facebook thing. Only girls that were genuinely attracted to me and were the real LTR potentials were the ones who asked to add me. They wanted to keep track of my daily activities and see what new things I might be up to...and by being open showed that I had nothing to hide. The scraps and flakes did not add me, good riddens. That's my lesson and argument about facebook. Edited October 8, 2012 by monkey00 1
Simple-Man Posted October 14, 2012 Posted October 14, 2012 When someone tries to create mystery it doesn't work ...a woman will read through this. Work on your dreams and goals in life. A woman will create her own mystery in her mind without you trying to create it.
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