Angry!

[AnotherRound]

Wanted to bump up my thoughts in case you may have missed them in the shuffle.

 

Another thought on this...along the lines of "Physician...heal thyself!".

 

As a counselor/therapist, go back and re-read your opening post as though this were someone you didn't know, and had just met.

 

What do you see? What questions would you ask?

 

I didn't see it previously, sorry again. I addressed it on the other thread. But yes, along with heal thyself is also "do no harm". An ethical oath we took at the beginning. To not use our "skills" to hurt others.

 

I don't feel that I would be using my professional skills to hurt her, but those old maladaptive skills from a traumatic childhood - they do work effectively, but do cause harm to others. But, if I give a warning shot, and the person continues - I am left with little choice. If someone is trying to harm me, I have to defend myself. It's not my fault if they didn't know my level of ability to do so swiftly and thoroughly.

 

But good points... and how I'm looking at it now. It's just I'm torn bc I know what she is trying to do - and I want to put her in her place. That's just me being human - I'm not ashamed of that part of myself in that we all are programmed to survive. I can normally keep it in check, but she's pushing buttons at a really bad time - when I have little energy left to do things "the right way".

[AnotherRound]

M is Closed. It's pretty much the responsibility of the two in the union to work things out.

 

Should the OW use the vulnerability, I still don't consider her the victor.

 

Agreed that they should have worked out their situation. My frustration with them not is what led me to end it. Frustration with BOTH of them, not just stbxw.

 

I didn't use any vulnerability, exMM did. I never considered myself the "victor" in anything. I'm not sure what you meant by that? This is post divorce for me and exMM - and him contacting me. ???