aaronb87 Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I been battling jealousy and anger for quite sometime and I am getting tired of it. I am 25 years old and I do have Aspbergers Syndrome. My fiancee Angel and I have known each other for two years and been engaged for 18 months now. I am not jealous of my fiancee whatsoever, its others that I am jealous of. I been wanting to be married for a while now and trying to be paitient. But when I see the friends I use to go to high school get ahead of me by having a wedding, it sets me off in anger. I hate the fact everyone on facebook can show off their weddings, kids, jobs, houses, cars when I dont got much basically feeling like I am a failure. I run a business doing computer repair from home and been doing it alone for three years. I know I will NEVER be able to afford a big wedding but seeing others be able to because they got rich parents that can spend $40,000 on materialistic crap for just one day, it makes me very upset and sets me off. I want to experience my chance to marry my fiancee and my moment to shine and getting compliments and being told they are happy for me. I feel I will NEVER shine in my life. I have in the past smash things in anger and talk bad about other's weddings which I regret. I am not a paitient person and never have been at all and I keep getting told to be paitient or my time will come and im tired of hearing it. When will I ever get past this anger and jealousy? Thank you, Aaron
umirano Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Relax, Aaron. You said yourself that it is mere materialism. Why are you jealous of those people if you don't approve of it? Overcoming the prevailing materialism is something you can be proud of. Why are you angry about this? Nobody really shines just for having an expensive wedding, paid for by their parents. I do not see why someone possibly could be upset about this. Invest your time and work into a good financial base for your family and hopefully kids. Focus on your own goals and your own attitude instead of on what others do or claim to do. Try growing your business or pursue another personal interest of yours, this makes you happier as you succeed, more relaxed and more agreeable to others. People will automatically start to compliment you as you improve. Take good care!
pie2 Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Empathy is a very mature skill. Hopefully, in time, it will become easier to put yourself in the place of your friends and acquaintances, and realize that they, most likely, feel inadequate in one way or another, much like you do right now. Most people strive to want more, bigger, better...and often compare themselves to those around them. So, while you are comparing yourself to them, they are comparing themselves to you, and to others they know. Do you know how jealous I am of you that you can repair computers?? Why can't I do that? When will I be able to??? (See...we all want something we don't have). Just focus on what you do have. You have skills, a job, and a fiancee...sounds pretty good to me!
Author aaronb87 Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 Look, jealousy has always been in my life since childhood. I dont know where it came from but I crave attention and when I dont get what I want, I just blow up and get angry. I want to be acknowledged that I exist and have talent but no one wants to acknowledge me basically I am ignored. I am angry about those who have materialistic weddings because thats not what it suppose to be. I think people have forgotten the true reason why people get married, now its who can spend most money going into debt, its nothing but a joke because they turn it to a show. I think im jealous because I know I wont be noticed for my wedding since it will be small and everyone is ahead of me while im behind. I envy those who already have kids, who have better cars than me while i got a 20 year old chevy blazer that I drive around, who have a house,who make more money than I do currently. I hate seeing those achieving more.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 I totally understand because I am the same way.. At least you have a fiancée. Seriously lol but honestly in site your time will come you found someone you are engaged and it is going to happen.. I don't even have those things! So if it makes you feel good at all I'm jealous of you Have you tried therapy, I'm in therapy because I blow up majorly too in jealous rages so definitely consider it.
HisGraceisSufficient Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 Forget about yourself. The ego is so focused on increase, attention, being better, having more, being noticed--it is quite busy! It is also draining, miserable and a depressing way to live. The Pride in you makes you hate when others have more. You want to have more and feel better, even over others. Truth of the matter is that no matter the increase, it will leave us feeling empty and lustful for more. No way to live. It is better to have less than more. Observe the negative consequences in your life by your greed for more. If you want to continue to be angry and jealous, just continue to think about yourself and how much you don't have. But, you there is a better way. Humility, having less and serving others.
Recommended Posts