KansasChica Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I know the first answer is: because he's your ex. But still- he broke up with me 10 months ago. It was pretty messy; a lot of hurt feelings. I tried to reach out a couple times via email and he seemed very bitter. 6 months later, he started popping up again and we conversed- it was awkward, but things seemed okay. Then we drunkenly hooked up one night, but still things seemed okay. I finally asked him about a month after that night where he stood and he said he still wanted to date others. It hurt, but I accepted it. We had a good conversation and then I left. Since then, he's been very cold to me. If I see him out (we have a lot of mutual friends) sometimes he'll say hello. Sometimes he'll just ignore me. The other day I ran into him and his best friend at a coffee shop and asked how work was going. He barely even looked at me. I mean, I'm trying to be civil at least and he's the one who broke my heart! Is this a guilt thing or is he trying to be cold because he knows that I still have some feelings for him (even though I know we weren't right). I've never had to deal with an ex before- we've either had separate friend groups or one of us moved away. This is all new to me. Thanks!
I'm nuts Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 he said he still wanted to date others. There is the answer, he sees you and thinks, oh no, not you again.
Calico Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I'll propose a better question: "Why do I still care about what my ex, who dumped me ten months ago and has been a distant jerk ever since, is doing? Why does it matter to me why he is doing it when he is no longer part of my life?" 4
JSJS Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 Is this a guilt thing or is he trying to be cold because he knows that I still have some feelings for him (even though I know we weren't right). In truth he has the right to act any way he wants but it sounds like he is a complete jerk - being pleasant isn't hard and he can't even do that for you. The sooner you let go of the feelings you have for him the happier you will be. Easier said than done I know but you sound like a nice person and you could be focusing that energy on someone else who actually deserves you. 1
Author KansasChica Posted October 6, 2012 Author Posted October 6, 2012 I'll propose a better question: "Why do I still care about what my ex, who dumped me ten months ago and has been a distant jerk ever since, is doing? Why does it matter to me why he is doing it when he is no longer part of my life?" Good point. I need to keep reminding myself of this.
Calico Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 Try to find the answer to the proposed alternative and see what you come up with. It sometimes helps me to re-adjust my thoughts a little and stay focused on moving forward.
gamman Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I think he wants you to just leave him alone. Give him what he wants.
Svet74 Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 he prob thinks because you guys hooked up, that now you want a relationship. To him all it was, was a hookup. To you it was something more. if he wanted you back he would have said so. I recommend you dissapear from his life for a bit. you will then get him wondering again. But at this point do you even want him back?
foreverastone Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 I always think that if someone is deliberately being 'unpleasant' such as your ex being cold towards you, there are some feelings involved. Perhaps its just his way of handling his feelings for you. Like he doesn't know how to react
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