ria305 Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 hey everyone!! I'm new here!!! my question to all the man is....what do you guys mean when you tell a woman that a relationship is not in your agenda right now, or that your not ready for a relationship??? or that your just taking your time?? see i've been dating this guy for about 4 months, and i really like him and he says that he likes me too, but when i asked him about having a relationship he said it wasen't on his agenda at this time, and that he feels that that people need to be friends first and that he's just taking his time, i know he has other "LADY FRIENDS" because he told me. Another thing is i'm 20 he's 39, he's never been married and doesn't have any kids...do you think that he's age might have something to do with him taking his time??? what do ya'll think about my scenario???
honeyboobonnie Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 I'm not a man but it sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too...."other lady friends" 4 months is a long time. He needs to sh*t or get off the pot!
Samson Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 Good Lord woman, he's being HONEST with you!!!!!!!!! Better to drop him like a hot potato!
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 It's called dating. If you're looking for something more serious find someone else. He's obviously in date mode and not interested in having a relationship (as he clearly stated).
InmannRoshi Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 I would think a 39 year old man would know what he wants, and he's telling you flat out what it is. What is the confusion?
Author ria305 Posted July 27, 2004 Author Posted July 27, 2004 what about that taking his time thing???
tanbark813 Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 This applies to both men and women. When someone says: "I'm not ready for a relationship", it means, "I'm not ready for a relationship with you".
fanou22 Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 I agree with tanbark and would like to add "don't mind having sex with you" You don't need to be dating a 39 yrs old when you are 20. He is old enough to be your father.
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 Why are you acting like he's talking in some secret code that only men can decode? He doesn't want a relationship. He wants to date. He wants to have fun. He doesn't want to settle down. Having a monogamous committed relationship isn't for everyone.
Author ria305 Posted July 27, 2004 Author Posted July 27, 2004 one thing that gets me confused is that i've told him like two times that i think is better that he goes his way and i go mine because we have different agendas and he'll call me back a day or two later "to see how i'm doing" and it starts all over again,and he'll tell me that's he's just taking his time, that we have to be friends first, that why i'm i pressuring him!!! everytime i tell him to just leave me alone he always comes back!!
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 Well stop opening the door and letting him in. You're not helpless..
tanbark813 Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 Originally posted by ria305 why does he do that though??? Because he can keep having sex with you and string you along and you'll put up with it. What's the big mystery here??
tanbark813 Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 Originally posted by ria305 i stopped having sex with him Good, then you won't have to worry about him coming back around.
Author ria305 Posted July 27, 2004 Author Posted July 27, 2004 he's actually still around...i even stopped calling him, i let him call me now!!
HoldOn Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 why does he do that though??? Firstly, why do you care why he does it? You shouldn't even be talking to him any more. Secondly, he TOLD you he doesn't want a relationship. Why don't you believe him? Thirdly, he keeps trying to call you because YOU LET HIM. because he likes to have sex with you and he likes to feel like he's controlling you. So, in his mind... why not? Fourthly, He is WAAAAAAY too old for you. I think a certain age difference is OK. 10 years is probably amount the limit, but 19!! He probably sees you as a little kid. Fifthly, please never speak to him again. Sixly, find a new man who actually wants a relationship with you.
Author ria305 Posted July 27, 2004 Author Posted July 27, 2004 i admit, is really hard to let him go, i really care for this person
HoldOn Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 Originally posted by ria305 i admit, is really hard to let him go, i really care for this person Some things that are hard are also completely necessary! Just do it! (OR....Just don't do it!) Keep reminding yourself of all the reasons this relationship won't work out. Then start looking for guys that are actually good matches. You'll find plenty.
dudesomewhere Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 what it means is that someone just wants to sleep around if you don't mind that with you, have at it. Men and women say this, lol. And it usually means the same thing. For me, I want a woman to be my friend first, but I'll never use that line...cuz that's the line of ppl who just want to f-around.
Mr Spock Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 My advice? Find someone you think is incredibly attractive and have sex with them. Sometimes a new toy cures what ails you.
honey2005 Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 I really think you should move on and find someone else. If you really want a relationship, drop all contact with this guy and find someone else who also wants to have a serious relationship (and possibly closer to your age). Good luck:).
echoparkdude Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 i agree with spock, buy a vibrator, lose the pseudo father figure...
Nique Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 i'm in a VERY similar situation, and i think i like this guy more than i'd like to admit even to myself. just last weekend, when drunk, he actually brought up "let's try going out", but i shot it down, considering he had been drinking. we've talked since, and he hasn't brought it up, so i'm assuming he didn't actually mean it. it's just hard to completely cut him out of my life. how do you do it? do i just tell him not to contact me ever again?
Recommended Posts