River Rain Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 Damn me, I broke my "no cry" rule. I can barely see the keyboard from my tears. My heart is hurting so bad right now... I'm pretty darn lonely. Why are people so mean? (rhetorical) You open yourself up, let yourself be vulnerable and they walk all over you. I'm always saying the heart is resilient, but I'm wishing I believed my own words right now. This is me. http://ak3.okccdn.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/101x0/532x431/0/17556126131141780799.jpeg I took this photo when I was testing out my tripod. It was 2 weeks ago when I was just wasting time waiting to be dumped. I know a picture doesn't personify me, but this is me at my most vulnerable. No makeup, no photoshop, just me. Just Rain. I'm feeling so unwanted and rejected. Maybe I'm posting this photo for ego, maybe not, I'm just alone and feeling low. I don't think there is anything wrong with me. I'm nice, I'm sweet, I'm caring and compassionate. Okay, maybe I'm old, I'm 44. And I know I'm not "experienced" for my age...but I'm sincere and honest and passionate. So sad....so hurt. Of all the advice I've been giving the last week, I need some for me. I know this is a temporary setback, I know everything will be okay. I wish he would have been more kind to me. I don't want him back. I hate that I feel so weak...I'm strong and independent. He doesn't deserve me....right? 6
mtnbiker Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 You already know the answers to your questions. You know you will be just fine and probably better in the long run. BTW, nice "come hither" photo! 1
dannykeyz831 Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 You're a very beautiful woman and you seem like a very sweet person. Were all here for each other. Keep your head up! People are cruel and selfish..that's the kind of world we live in. In the meantime just work on yourself because we are the only ones who can make ourselves happy. 3
todreaminblue Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 Damn me, I broke my "no cry" rule. I can barely see the keyboard from my tears. My heart is hurting so bad right now... I'm pretty darn lonely. Why are people so mean? (rhetorical) You open yourself up, let yourself be vulnerable and they walk all over you. I'm always saying the heart is resilient, but I'm wishing I believed my own words right now. This is me. http://ak3.okccdn.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/101x0/532x431/0/17556126131141780799.jpeg I took this photo when I was testing out my tripod. It was 2 weeks ago when I was just wasting time waiting to be dumped. I know a picture doesn't personify me, but this is me at my most vulnerable. No makeup, no photoshop, just me. Just Rain. I'm feeling so unwanted and rejected. Maybe I'm posting this photo for ego, maybe not, I'm just alone and feeling low. I don't think there is anything wrong with me. I'm nice, I'm sweet, I'm caring and compassionate. Okay, maybe I'm old, I'm 44. And I know I'm not "experienced" for my age...but I'm sincere and honest and passionate. So sad....so hurt. Of all the advice I've been giving the last week, I need some for me. I know this is a temporary setback, I know everything will be okay. I wish he would have been more kind to me. I don't want him back. I hate that I feel so weak...I'm strong and independent. He doesn't deserve me....right? I am sorry that you feel the way you do, I go through sad days too,normally when i have these days i just let myself feel sad and wait for the little things in life that pick me up....i write that helps sometimes, ill write a poem later dont feel poetic at the moment.....but even attempting to write a poem later will help me...i can laugh at my attempt......i know what its like to get dumped....his loss for you be happy when you realise you didn't waste any more time with someone who doesnt care about you as much as they should getting more damaged in the process of wasting time........ my daughter just licked my elbow yyyuuuuck...lol....see the little things....smile.. i dotn know about the photo posting thing you may regret it later...believe that you are beautiful a photo does not portray who you truly are......your heart shines more than a photo ever could....your words here......that shows you and you are sad a photo isnt going to help you feel better but you can and i hope i have a llllliiiitle bit...best wishes deb 1
Million.to.1 Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 oh Rain... i've been feeling like this somedays too. I'm not even recently out of a break-up, but i still feel really low somedays. i'm not going to try and tell you that everything will be fine because who knows if it will be. i just want you to know that you are not alone in feeling like this. Sometimes i feel like i will never find love, or for some reason, don't deserve it. All i can say is that i think you are beautiful. 2
Mike_d Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 gorgeous photo, honest, genuine. and yes, there is someone coming who will rock your world, just hang in there, you are right, this is only temporary 1
Hawaii50 Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I just came for the photo. and the answer is Yes. 1
Author River Rain Posted October 6, 2012 Author Posted October 6, 2012 Thanks my friends.... I need a hug, no, probably need a long hug. I just feel so alone.
Dreamless Sleep Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 Gorgeous photo. Vulnerable and playful. 44 is old. Damn what's 48? 1
bluefairy812 Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 your beautiful. you look amazing. i hope i look like that at 44 1
Calico Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 Gorgeous photo. Vulnerable and playful. 44 is old. Damn what's 48? Please sort that out before I get there in 4/8 years! Can we, perhaps, just settle for something like, you know, 97? And Rain: *tight hugs* 1
stemac Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 River it's 3.43am here, I have been out For a few beers, I came back about 12 And started playing a game on face book I felt so alone, when I got in and on this Game I know a lot of people and this lad I know he's only about 13-15 years old And a friend I know on there he's about 50 asked how I was, I said not so good Well this young lad that I know, told me About the day he had at school he found $100 and he was so happy, and when he Seen that I was un-happy, he said I send You all the luck I had today and hope you Will be ok, God the tears just poured out Tears flooded on my keyboard, River your not Alone ok? I'm and we are here for you I seen your photo you look lovely, you will Fine someone who will love you, the way You should be, not like these heartless Selfish *******s, that walk this earth 1
2sunny Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 If someone isn't appreciating you - that's THEIR problem and their loss. In the photo - you look darling. You just haven't YET met the right guy. Never settle! 1
KatZee Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I know a picture doesn't personify me, but this is me at my most vulnerable. No makeup, no photoshop, just me. Just Rain. I'm feeling so unwanted and rejected. Maybe I'm posting this photo for ego, maybe not, I'm just alone and feeling low. I don't think there is anything wrong with me. I'm nice, I'm sweet, I'm caring and compassionate. Okay, maybe I'm old, I'm 44. And I know I'm not "experienced" for my age...but I'm sincere and honest and passionate. I'm strong and independent. He doesn't deserve me....right? You coulda fooled me!! You look carefree... coy... flirty... I know when I feel all of the above, my eyes show it. You look free... you hide it well. And you definitely don't look a day over 35. You got a lot going for you... so no. He doesn't deserve you! 1
Author River Rain Posted October 6, 2012 Author Posted October 6, 2012 I can't begin to thank you all for your really sweet words. I'm very isolated at the moment, until the new year, and your attention made a difference. I thought I was moving forward so well, but I guess setbacks are inevitable. You know what triggered it? I was at the grocery store and that stupid Gotye song "Somebody that I used to know" came on....I was stuck at the cash register, otherwise I would have ran out of the store to avoid hearing it. I've been avoiding all music lately because there is always some little reminder. It's Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. I think that I'll focus on what makes me thankful in my life today. Maybe a walk in the woods, my "nature therapy", and a scary movie...I rented The Woman In Black, I'll wait until it's dark and watch it then. I still hold out hope that I will find love. I just have so much to give back too, I know he's out there and wants the same thing. Sigh. I just have to get through today, I'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. 2
CarrieT Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I think you are cute as a button! What a great picture and although you are terribly lonely, you have a great deal of hope in your eyes. You do NOT look like you are in your 40s at all, by the way! Come here for the virtual hugs, but I am confident that joy and happiness will be yours before you know it! :bunny: 1
JSJS Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 Rain - you are beautiful inside and out! If he mistreated you then he does not deserve you at all - you will be better in the long run without him. Why people are mean I will never know but take solace knowing you are better and won't sink to their level. If you are strong and independent then you will get through this and I know you will find someone else. For now let the emotion out and occupy your time with hobbies and things you enjoy. Good luck! 1
Author River Rain Posted October 6, 2012 Author Posted October 6, 2012 You guys are truly awesome. You've really made me smile and stop the tears a little at the same time. The support I feel here is moving. Oh darn...more tears, but these are tears of gratitude! I took a step forward...in my own way :-) I was wearing a necklace that had two hearts on it, one was for him, the other for me. Well, I just dropped that off at Goodwill, and went and bought a new pendant. It's one of those lockets that open up, it's shaped like a heart, of course...I'm a love-nut... ;-), so inside I'm just going to put a photo of me, just to remind myself who is #1 around here! If I meet someone and he's worthy of my heart, he can share the other side of the locket. 2
JamesM Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Hugs to you! I hope you are feeling better. Ditto to what the others said...I love your eyes. 1
Recommended Posts