Woggle Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 Men these days can't tell the difference between approaching and street harassment so many don't even bother.
todreaminblue Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 And that is not what I meant either. It means they stay with someone no matter how bad they treat her just because she cant get any better. what does this comment really say? please explain.....deb 1
PinkSapphire Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 It definitely could be the working from home. The more you are out and about, meeting people, doing activities, getting involved...that is how you get approached. You have to BE Around - I mean, if guys never see you or know you exist, how will they find you to approach you at all? You can say being overweight might hurt your chances a bit, but I doubt it. I have some friends who are a overweight, go up and down from very overweight to slightly overweight, but get hit on a LOT (and also do their own approaching as well) because they look good. Take care of yourself, wear stylish adn flattering clothes that FIT (nothing big to "hide" as they just make you look even bigger and dumpy), do your hair nice, light makeup if you like to...generally look confident and dress to look your best. And go out! Even to a coffeeshop (can you work from there for an hour or two during less demanding projects so you can appear open to meeting ppl?), for a walk during a break, even out to grab food or coffee (or not but pretend). Go out, look approachable, but don't expect much. The ratio for me getting approached to how often I am out and about (almost every day and multiple times a day I am out) is Veeeeery small. And, apparently, I get approached much higher than average, so don't get discouraged if it is a few weeks or a month and nothing. That is common for everyone, me included. I just like being out and meeting people and am involved. But I probably get cold approached once every month or two. The others are strangers, yes, but typically out at an activity. So put yourself out there and be open, but don't get discouraged too soon. Make this change for at least 6 months and see how you do You might find you even enjoy the new routines! It is fun.
AMusing Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I get approached a lot, usually by inappropriate men. The "classier" guys usually need more time to be sure they're actually interested in me, and so make an effort to get to know me over time before asking for my number. The real weird guys make up the bulk of the approaches, and have given me countless funny stories over the year. To me, a man holding a door open for me or saying "Good morning" isn't hitting on me... he just has proper manners. I get genuinely hit on maybe 3-4 times a week. About 1/3 of the time they'll ask for my number. Oh, and there's always the construction yard employees that catcall when I pass them on my daily run, but I don't consider that being approached; that's just background noise. Got a lot more approaches in my early twenties--I rarely went a day without someone at least flirting with me--but has been slowing down over the last few years. I have an open face and I smile a lot, so I think I look like a welcoming target. That, combined with being "cute not hot" (therefore not so intimidating) makes me more approachable than the average lady, I think.
jcrew11 Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 The best places for strange men to talk to women is at bars and parties, with alcohol to loosen the nerves, and a social-talking atmosphere. You're probably just not friendly enough, and not approachable. If your looks are average, I suggest wearing more makeup and maybe getting highlights in your hair to attract more men. Go to Macy's for some makeup tips. Its really common for women to get a new haircut immediately after breaking up with a boyfriend, to try to get more male attention. I knew a rather short girl, who was average looking, and when her boyfriend broke up with her, she got a new haircut with bleach blonde hair dye.
scratch Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I think it depends on where you live. If youre a big and unattractive woman in my city, you dont really get dates or approached or even looked at since there are so many prettier or smaller women around. Well, in fairness, fat girls don't really count as people, right? I may not have as many thin, attractive women in my little hamlet as you do in your teeming metropolis, but here, women of all shapes and sizes get attention if they dress stylishly and walk with confidence.
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I virtually never get cold-approached by men. I can probably count the number of times it has happened on one hand. Men will smile at me, be nice/polite to me, tell me I look nice/pretty, whatever, but as for actually approaching me and asking me out, no, it pretty much never happens. 1
mesmerized Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I virtually never get cold-approached by men. I can probably count the number of times it has happened on one hand. Men will smile at me, be nice/polite to me, tell me I look nice/pretty, whatever, but as for actually approaching me and asking me out, no, it pretty much never happens. Same here. In the past 6 months I got approached maybe about 4 times if we are not counting bars and clubs and much older men. In winter time its even less almost zero. I do get looks and random compliments very often tough.
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Cold approach as in ask me for my number outside of a bar/club setting? Very rarely - probably few times a year or less. Stare, compliment and similar more often. I also absolutely hate how hard some guys try with really horrible pick up lines. One guy approached me on the street once with saying "I dreamt about meeting you last night." For guys, if you want to cold approach, be as normal as possible. Carry a normal conversation. Definitely no pick up lines, no obvious compliments, and no touching (or kino ).
runningfar Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Pretty often. I am in a major city... And I am not super attractive; I am probably "approachable". I get approached more than prettier friends.
Jane2011 Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 The last time I was cold approached was in March or so, by an older guy at a Starbucks. He was really nice and courteous, but I wasn't interested. I told him I had a boyfriend even though then I didn't. I don't get cold approached much. More often just the looks of vague interest/attraction, slight smiles, slightly prolonged eye contact -- nothing major. I pretty much haven't ever had a relationship start from a cold approach. A rough look at my involvements came from these contexts: From work: 3 Through a friend: 2 Online romance: 1 Club/Organization: 1 Online Dating: 4 School: 3 Bar: 2 (cold approach by the guy; short lived involvement; the other was a cold approach by me; short lived involvement). Anyway, even though OLD gets on my nerves, it's actually been good to me in the past couple years. A lot of people I didn't want, definitely, but two that I did (met my standards and then some)...so by default, I have to give OLD a lot of credit.
Jane2011 Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 And I'd agree that not getting approached doesn't mean you're majorly unattractive. I've had friends who get approached a lot more than I do. My body doesn't say sex, and theirs do. Or they're just more of the mass appeal type. I think I look pretty good naked (well, good enough), but with clothes on I don't really stand out. I got used to not being the "approached a lot" type of woman. After I had a few boyfriends (several of them very, very cute), I understood and believed that I was capable of attracting men, etc.; thus, when single, I recognized that I would attract a new one in some unique-to-the-way-I-am way (in due time), not necessarily with a lot of men in public just wanting me and clamoring for my #. So I never worried about it.
Revolver Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 A woman is either fat(and even then not really),hideous, or covered in boils if she doesn't get approached. Whats more likely is, that she just doesnt get approached from the guys she wants to approach. It's in the same vein as saying, "All men want just sex"
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