Women: have you ever been approached?

[RiverRunning]

I'm in my mid-20s. A man has never asked me for my phone number. After striking up friendships with men, I have mutually exchanged phone numbers (one was for an internship, and the mentor later on got a little too interested). That's only happened 2 or 3 times.

 

For the other women out there: how often does it happen to you that someone flirts with you or asks for your number? I'm not talking about established romantic interests here - but people cold-approaching you, or making their intent clear after just a few conversations. Basically, do acquaintances or strangers ask for your number or flirt with you?

 

I get flirted with, albeit rarely. Usually men twice my age. I do see men look at me - again, usually men 2 or 3 times my age. Or...it's guys my age who are obvious drunks or drug addicts.

 

Today I was going to the bank and an older man held the door open for me. I thanked him and opened the door for him: he started telling me he was recently out of the hospital, and joked that his Cadillac was waiting for him outside (if I recall, it was a wheelchair). As I was leaving, he told me, "Don't spend all that money! Gotta pay the bills!" This is usually about as 'flirty' as men get with me. So...not really.

 

Then again, how would I know? I don't have many female friends. Some of my friends feel they've been flirted with if someone so much as gives them a double take. To others, myself included, he's basically got to be asking for my number, asking me out or complimenting me in some way.

 

But, is that what flirting generally is? Just inane conversation starters? Do most men BOTHER speaking to strange women out in public if they aren't on some level interested? I'm going to guess what I see as just chatting is actually a conversation starter to lead into the more serious flirting, but I just shut down the conversation, which is why it never goes any further.

 

I'm not looking to date, but admittedly wonder why I've been invisible through the years. I'm not a stunner, but I'm not hideous. I'm not looking for a date - just curious.

[Titanwolf]

I'm in my mid-20s. A man has never asked me for my phone number.

 

Can I have your phone number?

[sooniechan]

Close to never for me ha. Nobody has ever asked me for my number and I've been flirted with..well, I can count the number on one hand. I'm guessing I just look weird lol. I'm 21 if that makes a difference.

[RiverRunning]

Can I have your phone number?

 

Oh, TW CALL ME, BABY.

 

I'm not sure. Are you 2 or 3 times my age? I'm afraid your false teeth might be falling out while we're trying to talk.

[Titanwolf]

Oh, TW CALL ME, BABY.

 

I'm not sure. Are you 2 or 3 times my age? I'm afraid your false teeth might be falling out while we're trying to talk.

 

Lol I'm 21 and my teeth are all mine! no dentures here! .

[GirlontheLam]

For some reason my flirt to phone number ratio is just horrible. I don't know what it is at all.

 

Mild flirting: I'll call this a random hi, how are you, or holding the door open (after checking you out): a few times a week. Half of these are people in my dateable age range.

 

Semi-frequently (a few times a month) I'll be sitting on bench or walking on the street or something, and someone will walk by, give me a big smile and say "have a great day beautiful." I'll smile, say "thanks" or "same to you."

 

Semi-flirting: I get way more than my share of free stuff, random discounts and so on. At least once a month I'll get something free with no context. I don't go to bars often, so I am not talking about people buying me drinks or anything. It also has no relationship to how often I go to a place either. I went to a sandwich place, in my sweats ordered half a sandwich and left with a whole sandwich, free dessert and a drink. The cute guy at the tea shop gives me free tea or snacks. Stuff like that.

 

More obvious flirting: maybe 2-3 times a month. Random people will chat me up, store clerks, people on the street or whatever.

 

Phone numbers or contact info exchanged: not often enough. Like every other month if I am really lucky. Maybe. More like a few times a year. Recent weeks have been a little better than usual, but have low conversions.

 

So either I am really intimidating. Or people just feel like chatting me up.

[todreaminblue]

I'm in my mid-20s. A man has never asked me for my phone number. After striking up friendships with men, I have mutually exchanged phone numbers (one was for an internship, and the mentor later on got a little too interested). That's only happened 2 or 3 times.

 

For the other women out there: how often does it happen to you that someone flirts with you or asks for your number? I'm not talking about established romantic interests here - but people cold-approaching you, or making their intent clear after just a few conversations. Basically, do acquaintances or strangers ask for your number or flirt with you?

 

I get flirted with, albeit rarely. Usually men twice my age. I do see men look at me - again, usually men 2 or 3 times my age. Or...it's guys my age who are obvious drunks or drug addicts.

 

Today I was going to the bank and an older man held the door open for me. I thanked him and opened the door for him: he started telling me he was recently out of the hospital, and joked that his Cadillac was waiting for him outside (if I recall, it was a wheelchair). As I was leaving, he told me, "Don't spend all that money! Gotta pay the bills!" This is usually about as 'flirty' as men get with me. So...not really.

 

Then again, how would I know? I don't have many female friends. Some of my friends feel they've been flirted with if someone so much as gives them a double take. To others, myself included, he's basically got to be asking for my number, asking me out or complimenting me in some way.

 

But, is that what flirting generally is? Just inane conversation starters? Do most men BOTHER speaking to strange women out in public if they aren't on some level interested? I'm going to guess what I see as just chatting is actually a conversation starter to lead into the more serious flirting, but I just shut down the conversation, which is why it never goes any further.

 

I'm not looking to date, but admittedly wonder why I've been invisible through the years. I'm not a stunner, but I'm not hideous. I'm not looking for a date - just curious.

 

I have had guys cold approach me.....went out with a couple of friends a few years ago and this guy at the end of the night jumped into the car with us.his ute was a t the club so it was a little weird he came back to my friends place with me and when i left i dropped him back at the club to get this car.....and went on home by myself and yes he asked for my number and yes i gave it.....he put it in his phone......i didnt ask for his.......weird things like that happen to me.....and yes i was single.....deb

[somedude81]

Are we only talking about random approaches, or including guys you don't know that well, who start wanting to get to know you better?

 

I've never approached a random and asked for a date/her number. But I've met plenty of girls in school/campus clubs/work that over a short time asked for their number and or asked them out.

[xdahliax]

I have been approached on several occasions, but nothing has come of any of those instances so you shouldn't worry. A man asked for my number at the gym but he was a player. Another man asked for my number on the street, he seemed decent but it's still sketchy. I've also been asked for it in public transit.

At the end of the day, unless I know the guy or have spoken to him for more than a few hours, I won't give my number out anymore. I know what I want in a man and it's rare, and all of the men who have asked for my number quickly don't possess those qualities so there must be something to it.

[yongyong]

How about trying OLD and Bars? you know what their intentions are.... but at least you will get some attentions which will make you feel better?

[jobaba]

I'm in my mid-20s. A man has never asked me for my phone number. After striking up friendships with men, I have mutually exchanged phone numbers (one was for an internship, and the mentor later on got a little too interested). That's only happened 2 or 3 times.

 

For the other women out there: how often does it happen to you that someone flirts with you or asks for your number? I'm not talking about established romantic interests here - but people cold-approaching you, or making their intent clear after just a few conversations. Basically, do acquaintances or strangers ask for your number or flirt with you?

 

I get flirted with, albeit rarely. Usually men twice my age. I do see men look at me - again, usually men 2 or 3 times my age. Or...it's guys my age who are obvious drunks or drug addicts.

 

Today I was going to the bank and an older man held the door open for me. I thanked him and opened the door for him: he started telling me he was recently out of the hospital, and joked that his Cadillac was waiting for him outside (if I recall, it was a wheelchair). As I was leaving, he told me, "Don't spend all that money! Gotta pay the bills!" This is usually about as 'flirty' as men get with me. So...not really.

 

Then again, how would I know? I don't have many female friends. Some of my friends feel they've been flirted with if someone so much as gives them a double take. To others, myself included, he's basically got to be asking for my number, asking me out or complimenting me in some way.

 

But, is that what flirting generally is? Just inane conversation starters? Do most men BOTHER speaking to strange women out in public if they aren't on some level interested? I'm going to guess what I see as just chatting is actually a conversation starter to lead into the more serious flirting, but I just shut down the conversation, which is why it never goes any further.

 

I'm not looking to date, but admittedly wonder why I've been invisible through the years. I'm not a stunner, but I'm not hideous. I'm not looking for a date - just curious.

 

Cold approach is a pretty nerve wracking thing, so most guys don't do it often. When they do, they are likely to approach women that they think they have a chance with, not a woman who looks like she just popped in to 7-11 to get the morning paper.

 

If you want to get approached, then look at guys you are attracted to. Give them eye contact and then look away. When I take the subway, sometimes I think a woman is looking at me. My instinct to cold approach her automatically goes off. I rarely act, but that is the type that I will approach. Also, dress well, and appear approachable and friendly.

 

If you do this, I would say ... maybe 1 out of 25 times a guy wants to approach you, he will. See, it's a scary thing. It really is. Plus, he might be busy that day, or there's too many people around, etc. So getting cold approached is not a good barometer of how attractive you are. Women who get approached a lot often dress sluttier. I have attractive female friends that have rarely been approached.

 

On the other hand, I have ZERO female friends who have never been approached in a bar/club. If you want to find out how attractive you are, do that.

[Minka333]

I get approached alot. Sometimes i wonder what vibe i give off. I mean i barely even look at anybody. I don't dress too sexy. I'm a bit shy outside.

 

Worst was yesterday. 3 men approached. 2 Latinos and a white guy. They all said the typical "You're beautiful blah blah.." The Latinos were cute but i told em' i have a bf when they asked for my digits. But the white guy shocked me..he looked like a decent office type but offered me marijuana. I was like wtf! I ran...

 

Then, there are also those cute men who does nothing but stare. If i didn't have a bf i would've wanted them to approach me. I noticed the type that approaches me were more confident of themselves. They know how to talk the talk. Yet there was also one incident when this guy was so shy.. he was stammering..it kinda' looked adorable.

 

Anyway im blabbing to much...well i have learned not to take these things seriously. Whether they flirt or not doesn't really matter. Some may do it to stroke their egos, some may be bored, some may really like us, some just wants to get laid or some just wants some idle chat..etc. It is one of those things that make life a li'l bit amusing:bunny:

[jobaba]

I get approached alot. Sometimes i wonder what vibe i give off. I mean i barely even look at anybody. I don't dress too sexy. I'm a bit shy outside.

 

 

If you have any kind of a nice body at all, men will approach.

 

If you have large boobs...

 

If you have a nice rear, forget about it. Guys will approach you like mad.

Edited October 6, 2012 by jobaba

[sooniechan]

I get approached alot. Sometimes i wonder what vibe i give off. I mean i barely even look at anybody. I don't dress too sexy. I'm a bit shy outside.

 

Ha ha, I must give off some weird vibe then xD I'm painfully shy so maybe that too. I think I look decent enough but that might just be me overestimating my looks.

[PinkSapphire]

For me, all the time. It's weird. But, it also depends on where you live. When I went to university and when I moved to a more populated area, I got approached a lot more than living in sprawling suburbs.

 

Sometimes I think I look not very good, pants, hair just up, no makeup. It's like every other guy (really just 3-5 but feels like so many). Other nights, typically a Friday or Saturday night, randoms on the street (I assume drunk) will do the "you are beautiful. What's your name, come over here, etc" thing. BUt mostly guys in cars. Offering rides, calling out hwo beautiful you are, etc. That's the typical. I just ignore. Also, in the bus stop or on transit. That is annoying because you usually can't just dodge em so you end up listening to them. I usually am polite and just pretend it's a real conversation rather than some sketchball trying to pick me up (that's what it is on the street or train).

 

For guys I actually meet in a dance or club? Much more substantial and often. THey actually get to talk to me for a bit, find out names and jobs, etc. They always ask for numbers. I've had guys ask me on the street, as well, but I have learned to decline.

 

I always wondered if it was a vibe I gave off, but now I wonder if it is my rear (been told since very young it was ncie, by guys, girls, and especially by gay guys. I assume it's true.) Makes sense. My friends also say they get approached in similar ways and in similar numbers. Maybe it's a regional thing? I know I NEVER look approachable just on the street. Out at a club, though, I am usually having tons of fun and smiling and laughing, so I am sure I look much friendlier adn approachable there.

Edited October 6, 2012 by PinkSapphire
to add: oh, and apparently I get checked out all the time, too. My friends always tell me this, though I am too oblivious.

[PinkSapphire]

I wanted to add: maybe it has to do with how horny the guys are you are around? I don't think (besides my body I mentioned) I am particularly good looking or anything. It probably has to do with the guys themselves, as mentioned above, and what they think their chance with you are (maybe less attractive = more flirts, as better chance to appreciate it?)

 

who knows

[jobaba]

Ha ha, I must give off some weird vibe then xD I'm painfully shy so maybe that too. I think I look decent enough but that might just be me overestimating my looks.

 

Asian girls don't get approached as much in general because ...

 

1) Asian girls tend to have less voluptuous bodies

 

2) Not all guys like Asian girls

 

3) Asian guys are usually p@ssies and won't cold approach...

[choodulund]

I am interested in you,if you wish so,please reply via email on

[email protected]

[sooniechan]

Asian girls don't get approached as much in general because ...

 

1) Asian girls tend to have less voluptuous bodies

 

2) Not all guys like Asian girls

 

3) Asian guys are usually p@ssies and won't cold approach...

 

I'm only half asian (Korean to be specific) and half black. I'm not sure what counts as voluptuous so, I mean, I can give measurements haha. But I guess its because I give off a weird vibe and not a lot of guys like the way I look? xD

[jobaba]

I'm only half asian (Korean to be specific) and half black. I'm not sure what counts as voluptuous so, I mean, I can give measurements haha. But I guess its because I give off a weird vibe and not a lot of guys like the way I look? xD

 

Certain women get approached more. Doesn't mean your less attractive per se.

 

The type of woman I am most attracted to ... cute, petite, with a modest body doesn't get cold approached that much.

 

The more your look/body says sex, the more you'll get approached cold. It's as simple as that. Only certain guys street cold approach. None of my friends do it, and some of them have substantial balls.

 

That said, the women I have been attracted to get attention from other sources. Enough to have options a plenty...

[ScreamingTrees]

It seems the general consensus is that cold approaching doesn't work if you're not a very smooth talker, so most average guys who might get a bit nervous probably wouldn't do it unless they felt comfortable.. So I don't know why a girl would be worried about not getting approached.

[mesmerized]

Certain women get approached more. Doesn't mean your less attractive per se.

 

The type of woman I am most attracted to ... cute, petite, with a modest body doesn't get cold approached that much.

 

The more your look/body says sex, the more you'll get approached cold. It's as simple as that. Only certain guys street cold approach. None of my friends do it, and some of them have substantial balls.

 

That said, the women I have been attracted to get attention from other sources. Enough to have options a plenty...

 

That's BS. I've been told by men my body type is perfect for sex and I rarely get cold approached. Men nowadays just dont approach women during the day. Even at night time and in bars and clubs they have reservations.

[MrCastle]

Who does the cold approach work for really? I mean most girls reject guys who cold approach, so what is the incentive for men to approach, that's first of all, second, the majority of men who do cold approach (since they have the confidence to do so) are usually players or at least men with a working knowledge of pick up artist techniques and are not looking for anything more than a notch on their belt, so what is the incentive for women to accept the approach? Cold approaching as a whole is pretty lame, as I've said a few times before.

[GirlontheLam]

Who does the cold approach work for really? I mean most girls reject guys who cold approach, so what is the incentive for men to approach, that's first of all, second, the majority of men who do cold approach (since they have the confidence to do so) are usually players or at least men with a working knowledge of pick up artist techniques and are not looking for anything more than a notch on their belt, so what is the incentive for women to accept the approach? Cold approaching as a whole is pretty lame, as I've said a few times before.

 

I think most cold approaches fail, because most men go about all wrong. They try to come up with way too much game and not enough normal-ness.

 

The "hi" cold approach works with me like 70-80% of the time. Hi plus some contextual comment. Hi + 5-10 minutes of conversation and you'll can have a real phone number for me. ****

 

Some start off OK and taper into creepy territory. Like you know the people who try to touch you within 1 minute of meeting. Or the ones who decide to inform you what they'd like to do shortly after meeting you. And not the PG thoughts.

 

 

****I give out my google voice number to strangers. Eventually you might get upgraded to my real cellphone number.

[iris219]

If you have any kind of a nice body at all, men will approach.

 

If you have large boobs...

 

If you have a nice rear, forget about it. Guys will approach you like mad.

 

Not necessarily. Mostly they will just stare.