BetrayedH Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Yes you are right betrayedH Tennessee law says that property owned prior to marriage is to stay with its owner. So yay! On that at least. And yes I'm gonna keep you posted. @betrayedH- did you read any of the crap in my other thread in the separation/divorce thread? It would give a good picture of my situation. Sorry I haven't yet read your other thread. To be honest, I many times try to discourage myself from advising on the decision to reconcile or divorce (I fail at this somewhat miserably but I prefer to let people make their own decision about whether to stay or go). The tolerance level of individual people is so different. What matters to me is if you perceive her as truly remorseful and if you perceive yourself as being able to truly forgive. When you said no to both of those, the backstory seems somewhat irrelevant. I know what the healthy decision is for you and I know reconciliation isn't possible without those two requirements. But I will read it anyway. I also have to agree with NH. I don't believe any wayward spouse that admits to anything beyond a ONS but then claims that it was only once (or twice). People in these situations don't risk their family to go hold hands with someone as if they're a twelve year-old. They **** like rabbits. If it doesn't sound believable to you, then it probably isn't. As if you can trust what she says to you anyway. Bah. Just tells me that she is still lying to you and I know I couldn't commit the rest of my life to someone (again) that was actively lying to my face. And I agree with Furious. Sell one of the cars and hand the money over to an attorney as a retainer. Hell, if it only costs you one of your cars, I think you're going to be fine. 1
Author TheCollector Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 Well my Porsche is for sale now but that was gonna pay off all our med bills but that isn't a bad idea......but the mini....NO WAY! I'm a mini fanatic(even have a mini emblem tattoo). Nanja husband I just went back and reread your post and remember it well. Probably one of the best responses I got back and really related. I think you guys are right about it all. There were literally TONS of opportunities for it...it wasn't just once...... BTW Anybody wanna buy a beautiful porsche??? All black baby! 4
Author TheCollector Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 Give me strength.... I JUST saw "him".... It made me wanna pull in and beat the ever-living ***** out of him.....
Furious Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Give me strength.... I JUST saw "him".... It made me wanna pull in and beat the ever-living ***** out of him..... Please don't do anything that will land you in jail. You're better than this. Use your brain not your muscles. 1
Author TheCollector Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 Thanks furious.....its gonna be a bad day...I try so hard to keep my little girl in mind and that Icant do something stupid for her sake...even before she was born was all that kept me from heading to his apartment with a baseball bat the night it happened. 1
Author TheCollector Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 It's just really hard.....
Furious Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 (edited) Thanks furious.....its gonna be a bad day...I try so hard to keep my little girl in mind and that Icant do something stupid for her sake...even before she was born was all that kept me from heading to his apartment with a baseball bat the night it happened. Hang in there Collector, you have our support. Edited October 11, 2012 by Furious 1
BetrayedH Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Dude, you need to keep it together. I found some real disturbing sh|t my wife wrote online about the affair and pushed her out the front door. Welcome to jail. Fun 15 hours in a orange jumpsuit but even worse was the next six months of everyone officially referring to her as the victim. And then you can look forward to the custody battle and highly diminished case you have for custody in the divorce. In fact, you can get your wallet ready to pay her child support as she has custody of your child so much. Lose the kid and pay cash. Double whammy. 2
road Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 The only reason I started a new thread is cause I thought maybe it fits better in the infidelity section. I am almost positive she is mine. I think I know what I want to do wich is divorce but I just don't know how I will work it and I'm quite honestly terrified. It's a big step for me but I think sunny is right. I think its gotta happenand heart I think you have a good point too. Almost positive is not the same as a DNA test. Get one ASAP. Don't confront the OM. You beat him up your a criminal lower chances of getting any decent custody. WW gets kid you have to pay more CS. OM sues you in civil court after the criminal trial is over. So now OM gets some of your money. Medical bills, pain and suffering. Yet while you can't sue OM for pain and suffering for doing your WW. OM beats you up, if you threw the first punch, story same as above and now you have medical bills. Stay calm, keep your course on you objective to reach the best goal you can with the hand you have been delt. 1
Author TheCollector Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 UPDATE I have held it together today but feel really mad and really down at the same time....I don't really feel like talking to my wife at all today and she doesn't even know I saw him... I'm trying to stay straight on this for my daughter and case's sake. I'll try to get a DNA test done soon. A credit card is the only way I could and I'd have to apply for that I don't even have any. Now for the good news.... I FINALLY got a hold of the counselor and set up my first appointment but its not till the 23 sadly. That's the soonest he could get me in. 2
Furious Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 (edited) UPDATE I have held it together today but feel really mad and really down at the same time....I don't really feel like talking to my wife at all today and she doesn't even know I saw him... I'm trying to stay straight on this for my daughter and case's sake. I'll try to get a DNA test done soon. A credit card is the only way I could and I'd have to apply for that I don't even have any. Now for the good news.... I FINALLY got a hold of the counselor and set up my first appointment but its not till the 23 sadly. That's the soonest he could get me in. You're doing the right thing, by not resorting to violence, you know it will only make things worse. Call the counselor's office and ask to be seen earlier if any other appointments are canceled before you date. Edited October 12, 2012 by Furious 1
Author TheCollector Posted October 12, 2012 Author Posted October 12, 2012 Yeah so my wife made me angry and happy at the same time on my lunch break. I didn't even want to call her with all that's been going through my head today but I bit the bullet and decided to call to check on the baby and how she was doing. So I called and got immediately ignored...I was like WTF??? Then I get a text that "the vampire diaries" is on and her and her mom were watching it...well I'm glad I didn't have to talk to her but it makes me angry that her show not being interrupted was more important than talking to her husband.... Am I crazy for thinking this? I call every day on my lunch break to check on her.
2sunny Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 So she cheats - you call and she ignores communicating... That doesn't seem like a gal that's trying to repair the damage SHE has caused to you and the M. SHE should be calling YOU! SHE should be willing to put all HER effort and energy into setting things right FOR YOUR PEACE OF MIND... But SHE'S NOT! That should tell you everything... Sheez... How much are you going to ALLOW her to disregard and disrespect you? When you tell HER to leave - and she's got no money - and sleeping in the gutter- SHE MAY APPRECIATE being kind and loving to you! But she's not - because she hasn't had any CONSEQUENCES for HER bad behavior. Stop rewarding her bad behavior!
2sunny Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 She's sitting home watching tv with her Mom while you're paying for them to do nothing but watch tv. What happened to them getting to work? Bringing home money that's needed... You want both of themWORKING! They'd work if you'd stop allowing them to freeload off of you.
Author TheCollector Posted October 13, 2012 Author Posted October 13, 2012 OMG I need help now....we faught all last night but finally reconciled early in the morning andwe started fighting again a little while ago an now I'm at work she is locked in our room with the baby and says she's gonna kill herself and wants a DNR! What do I do now? She is emotionally unstable... Her mom is trying to get me to come home bit have no vac time left and I know its probably manipulation but who can tell? I'm freaking out here
Furious Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 OMG I need help now....we faught all last night but finally reconciled early in the morning andwe started fighting again a little while ago an now I'm at work she is locked in our room with the baby and says she's gonna kill herself and wants a DNR! What do I do now? She is emotionally unstable... Her mom is trying to get me to come home bit have no vac time left and I know its probably manipulation but who can tell? I'm freaking out here Call 911 immediately
2sunny Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 OMG I need help now....we faught all last night but finally reconciled early in the morning andwe started fighting again a little while ago an now I'm at work she is locked in our room with the baby and says she's gonna kill herself and wants a DNR! What do I do now? She is emotionally unstable... Her mom is trying to get me to come home bit have no vac time left and I know its probably manipulation but who can tell? I'm freaking out here 911 for suicide threat - have her evaluated by the hospital! IF she won't go - THEY have that documented. 2
Author TheCollector Posted October 13, 2012 Author Posted October 13, 2012 Well I think her mom has soothed her some but the door is still locked...idk guys its been a CRAZY 2 days wich is why I haven't been on here really... Had no time been fighting bout every free second...sadly after fighting all last night we made up and even had the make-up.....well you know...wich only made things worse today...I am so exhausted here
2sunny Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 Well I think her mom has soothed her some but the door is still locked...idk guys its been a CRAZY 2 days wich is why I haven't been on here really... Had no time been fighting bout every free second...sadly after fighting all last night we made up and even had the make-up.....well you know...wich only made things worse today...I am so exhausted here Sheez, call 911! Do something! It's hard to feel sorry for you when you aren't DOING anything to change this mess! Get her evaluated - she's suicidal for Gods sake! 1
Author TheCollector Posted October 13, 2012 Author Posted October 13, 2012 She's not really....I was right she has already backed off of that and now she's sad.....trust me I've been through this song and dance about 20 times already with her... She....uses it at times... Not to say I am minimizing the severity of what just happened. I was freaking out but about the time I posted that last post she had already sent her mom a text saying something to the effect that she can't even bring herself to do that right. It's part of her way of manipulating me.
2sunny Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 She's not really....I was right she has already backed off of that and now she's sad.....trust me I've been through this song and dance about 20 times already with her... She....uses it at times... Not to say I am minimizing the severity of what just happened. I was freaking out but about the time I posted that last post she had already sent her mom a text saying something to the effect that she can't even bring herself to do that right. It's part of her way of manipulating me. Get divorced! You could have used that "suicide attempt" in court to gain custody... More than that - you need to call 911 when she even begins to pull her drama. 2
Author TheCollector Posted October 13, 2012 Author Posted October 13, 2012 God dang I'm slow sometimes.... I should have just for that reason.... Well atleast I have a butt-load of texts to prove it witch I'm backing up with a buddy of mine.
Author TheCollector Posted October 13, 2012 Author Posted October 13, 2012 I have got to get more aggressive like you sunny
Author TheCollector Posted October 13, 2012 Author Posted October 13, 2012 No sunny BUT that has been a big part of our fighting the last few days. I am pushing hard for it. I swear!
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