My rebound left me

[DavidG]

Hey everyone, just thought Id post something that might make everyone smile. Well, I found a rebound. I know it isn't a great thing to do but she took my mind off of my ex temporarily and made me feel alive again. After dinner tonight, we went to my bedroom and talked for a while. She was definitely into me untiiiil......she asked if she could check her email. I agreed and went to the bathroom, talked to my mom, came back and she was reading through ALL of my LS posts. And now she left me How do I get her back??? I miss her. haha I don't know, I'm at a pretty big low right now but I have been laughing about it for about an hour now. Just figured Id try to put a smile on everyone's face.

 

 

***and the get her back is a joke ***

[Hawaii50]

sounds like you got double-dribbled.

[Sameold]

How did she get on to your LS posts?

 

Man that sucks and it could happen to any of us. If this girl was just a "rebound" then maybe not so much harm done? What exactly did she read? Could you just explain that you like her but you admit you have been using LS to help find closure and put to bed the pain of your ex? I would just be honest about it all.

[DavidG]

I mean I say a "rebound" because thats what she said she was not going to be. I was on the phone with my mom and she came out pissed lol. I tried to explain it but I guess ive posted too much stuff on here that she didn't necessarily feel comfortable dealing with. Who knows. I think its crazy that she went through it!! I had a minimized window open.

[moveONorStay]

It's really pretty funny...you are posting here because you can't get over your ex then the new chick sees it! Ouch!

[Million.to.1]

Personally, having been the "rebound" girl before, I think you got what you deserved. She is really lucky that she has escaped the **** relationship that is that of a rebound. Constantly searching for a connection that will never happen with a hurt, emotionally unavailable partner.

 

It's a pretty selfish thing to do, use someone to dull the pain of your own emptiness.

 

Instead of trying to "get her back" .. for clearly no other reason than to ease your own loneliness.. why don't you take the time to get used to your own company...feel ok about who you are without the need of someone else to validate you?

 

That fact that you are laughing about it only shows how little you care about her. Do her a favor and leave her alone. She deserves more than a half hearted relationship with someone who is only interested in how she serves them.

[Sameold]

Dude you had it minimized! jeez, at least close the window!

 

People have all different views in rebound, when they should start dating etc. Truth is that most dumpees who loved their ex will take a long time to get over the BU even if they have learnt the ex treated them badly and they wouldn't take them back.

 

As long as you can honestly say you wouldn't take the ex back if she came back then I don't see anything too wrong with seeing another girl as long as it isn't too serious. I say this because I am dating another girl and we are having a great time, however the turmoil of my own BU still nags at me sometimes so I come here.

 

If you liked this girl just be honest to her, if you really did post loads about how you loved your ex and wanted her back etc though and she saw this then it is probably done for good. Either way, honesty is best policy here.

[Million.to.1]

I just read through some of your threads and posts that she might have read.

 

SHE HAS EVERY REASON TO LEAVE YOU.

 

You are no way near being over your EX and you have been using her to avoid facing your own soul.

 

PLEASE don't do this to anybody else.

[Sameold]

The irony is she probably took a note of the site and his username and now she may be reading this thread from home /facepalm

[Million.to.1]

The irony is she probably took a note of the site and his username and now she may be reading this thread from home /facepalm

 

I hope so!

 

Better she know the truth.

[Mike_d]

y, better she knows the total truth so that she can decide what she wants to do. sounds like the honesty thing needs to be kicked up a notch from you in dealing with others

[veggirl]

Wow I can't imagine using a virtual strangers computer and using that time to read through his personal s.hit. Granted you post on a public forum, but under the guise of some anonimity. Well a- obv you aren't ready to date and it is not cool to use people to get over someone else (unless they are a willing participant) and b- you dodged a bullet, I mean what was gonna be next, her going through your underwear drawer and text messages and emails?

[DavidG]

Let this be the final post to this thread. I'm not exactly sure what was going on in my head when I posted it but for some strange reason I initially thought it was funny. I guess it was just a curve ball sent to me on top of all the other things that have been driving me crazy. And to million.to.1, I'm sorry you were a rebound at some point in your life but calm the **** down. Your assuming that I am doing the same but I can assure you that I am not. I honestly liked the girl. No, I am not over my ex but I do realize that she is gone and will not be back. There is nothing wrong with talking to other people. She knew I just got out of a relationship and she was fine with that. What she didn't know is that I posted on here. I don't think anyone on here would have thrown out that oh, by the way, Ive been on loveshack.org getting help. Its just not something you mention (maybe I am wrong). The truth is million.to.1, I really liked the girl. Im not a piece of **** looking to hurt anyone. Yes, many people unfortunately do screw others over after being hurt but Id really appreciate it if you wouldn't categorize me with them. I also apologize again for the thread in general. It was more less just a shock to me that it even happened. Thanks again to MikeD and everyone else who has taken time out of their day to help me with the real problem I am having. It means a lot.

[salmagundi]

Hey David,

For what its worth I think she is 100% in the wrong for prying into your personal communications like that. We all use Loveshack for dealing with personal problems by expressing ourselves and exposing ourselves in a sometimes brutally honest way that maybe we don't feel we can in our real lives with the people we know. I think that we have a right to expect that what we write here remain private and I really believe that what she did is violate your privacy in a way that is unacceptable.

 

Think about it, if she is right to go into your own computer and read your private communications, what's next? That she have the right to probe your mind? We all experience doubts, inner conflicts, confusion, and a whole other gamme of emotions when we are in relationships. Its normal. All you did was transfer private, inner thoughts from your mind to an internet forum. You have the right to those thoughts. She does not have the right invade your privacy like that.

 

I actually think you may have dodged a bullet in the sense that, honestly, when I think of what would drive her to dig into your personal **** like that is issues with jealousy and control.

 

Which doesn't change the fact that she may still be better off for knowing where you are at (and not at) and that maybe you are not yet ready for a relationship...

[Million.to.1]

David...Saying "i really liked the girl" doesn't really change anything. And assuming that the guy who used me as a rebound didn't like me is just ignorant. Of course he liked me. We were a couple for 6 months. Still doesn't change the fact that his motivations for having the relationship were detrimental to me over time. He was using me to heal..utterly subconsciously. Not maliciously, not intentionally, but unfortunately he was filling a void..... and that's what you were doing too.

 

I'm sorry if what i say makes you feel uncomfortable, and i'm sorry that you feel the need to be really defensive about it, and i'm sorry that you are hurting over your ex, really I am. The thing is.. that you will never really understand how soul destroying it is falling in love with someone who's heart still belongs to their ex. Whether their ex is coming back or not is irrelevant.

 

I have to agree, that her invading your privacy is not ok. but... it was probably an accident.. hit the browser button to get a page and up pops an open thread.

I just think that she made a lucky escape. Hurt people, hurt people.

You are hurt....and you would of hurt her much more in the long run.

[DavidG]

David...Saying "i really liked the girl" doesn't really change anything. And assuming that the guy who used me as a rebound didn't like me is just ignorant. Of course he liked me. We were a couple for 6 months. Still doesn't change the fact that his motivations for having the relationship were detrimental to me over time. He was using me to heal..utterly subconsciously. Not maliciously, not intentionally, but unfortunately he was filling a void..... and that's what you were doing too.

 

I'm sorry if what i say makes you feel uncomfortable, and i'm sorry that you feel the need to be really defensive about it, and i'm sorry that you are hurting over your ex, really I am. The thing is.. that you will never really understand how soul destroying it is falling in love with someone who's heart still belongs to their ex. Whether their ex is coming back or not is irrelevant.

 

 

 

 

I have to agree, that her invading your privacy is not ok. but... it was probably an accident.. hit the browser button to get a page and up pops an open thread.

I just think that she made a lucky escape. Hurt people, hurt people.

You are hurt....and you would of hurt her much more in the long run.

 

 

Honestly, your right. Whether my intentions were good or not, there a lot of variables beyond my control. Ultimately I need to be alone for a while because I honestly do not want anyone to hurt because of me.

[Million.to.1]

Yep. And you'll be doing yourself and your next relationship a huge favour if you take the time now to properly come terms with the relationship with your ex being over, and without involving anyone else in that recovery.

[JayL]

David...Saying "i really liked the girl" doesn't really change anything. And assuming that the guy who used me as a rebound didn't like me is just ignorant. Of course he liked me. We were a couple for 6 months. Still doesn't change the fact that his motivations for having the relationship were detrimental to me over time. He was using me to heal..utterly subconsciously. Not maliciously, not intentionally, but unfortunately he was filling a void..... and that's what you were doing too.

 

I'm sorry if what i say makes you feel uncomfortable, and i'm sorry that you feel the need to be really defensive about it, and i'm sorry that you are hurting over your ex, really I am. The thing is.. that you will never really understand how soul destroying it is falling in love with someone who's heart still belongs to their ex. Whether their ex is coming back or not is irrelevant.

 

I have to agree, that her invading your privacy is not ok. but... it was probably an accident.. hit the browser button to get a page and up pops an open thread.

I just think that she made a lucky escape. Hurt people, hurt people.

You are hurt....and you would of hurt her much more in the long run.

 

Thank you!

 

I was a rebound guy... and it is taking me awhile to get over a 1 1/2 month long relation ship that ended a month ago due to the fact that I feel used, betrayed, lied to, etc, you name it.

 

It's not the fact that she did not find that level of connection for us, it's the fact that she kept me around knowing that she's hung up with her ex-boyfriend.

 

I've had the chance to do this to a girl who immediately made a move as soon as she found out that I just turned single, but I said this to her face "Listen, I know you like me, but I have a heavy baggage that probably will not be gone for awhile. If you want to stick around, please know that we are only friends and do not fall".

 

To OP... I don't know if you believe in this, but "what goes around comes around".

[todreaminblue]

Hey everyone, just thought Id post something that might make everyone smile. Well, I found a rebound. I know it isn't a great thing to do but she took my mind off of my ex temporarily and made me feel alive again. After dinner tonight, we went to my bedroom and talked for a while. She was definitely into me untiiiil......she asked if she could check her email. I agreed and went to the bathroom, talked to my mom, came back and she was reading through ALL of my LS posts. And now she left me How do I get her back??? I miss her. haha I don't know, I'm at a pretty big low right now but I have been laughing about it for about an hour now. Just figured Id try to put a smile on everyone's face.

 

 

***and the get her back is a joke ***

 

 

I fail to see the humor in this....for you or for her.....its a bit sad actually......she made you feel alive........i can see how that would fool you into believing you were happy.....i have had a rebound relationship it took 15 and half years to end........i tried to date in the first year of the break up and i couldnt do it ...i didn't want to hurt anyone like i had been hurt....and i didnt want to be used even though it ended up that way ..thats why i find your post not funny i guess....i think it sucks more that you find it funny......it isnt...hurting someone never is...especially if you have had it dished to you the hurt i mean......i wish you luck and true happiness with someone you truly love and who truly loves you back.....no facepalm required.....deb

[leoc1973]

The thing is that everyone puts this horrible label on "rebound" but basically most of the time anyone who has been hurt is going to have that next relationship and we all will carry that hurt/love into the next relationship. No one is ever fully healed. You go into a bar or dating website or get fixed up with the most amazing person in the world and guess what... it doesn't matter who they are or how great the person is, the person before them still has a bit of our heart. Unless you are dying or permanently giving up dating there will always be a rebound.

 

Its like rolling the dice and hoping that the guy or girl you are dating is over the person just enough to let you into their heart. I was with a girl for 6 years and completely crushed when we broke up. I immediately started dating the girl after her and that girl who was a total rebound ended up being the love of my life. I never even cared where the previous girl was or who she was with or missed her at all because I thought I had found the one.

 

Anyone out there dating knows the risks and knows that there is always a chance it will not work out and people get hurt. Its collateral damage but it is necessary in the search for love and the person you may eventually end up with. If you are always worried so much about hurting someones feelings then you will never be able to take care of your own.

 

Everyone has deep dark feelings in their heart that we don't share with people we just meet and start dating and coming on here to vent and let them out is how many of us cope. If it was an accident then she should have stopped reading immediately when she seen Loveshack on the top of the page. Funny thing is that now she will never know because she must have known you were hurt from your previous relationship and if she didn't snoop you may have fell completely in love with this new girl and never again thought about your ex. It happened for me and I am sure if she had read some of my innermost thoughts after my previous breakup she wouldn't have stuck around and we would have lost out on a great love.