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This is how men should plan a date


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Posted

I haven't met this guy nor even spoken to him on the phone yet. He asked what I'd like to see or do and I made a suggestion, stressing that if it was inconvenient, to choose something else as I was open to most things.

 

It is a great suggestion as far as I am concerned. I’ve not been there for at least 20 years. To make it practicable and easy, avoiding the traffic uncertainties and distances of meeting in R_____, and giving us plenty of time despite the distances involved, we should meet further out.

 

You would best kick off on a mainline train out of ______ station to B______. That is quite near to me and an easy location to pick you up. There are no changes, it is a direct fast line taking about 45 minutes – possibly one or two stops prior, I can check – and I see four trains between 0950 and 1020 on a weekday. Plenty more but that sort of timing would be sensible. There is the occasional slow train – avoid. If you agree I will research more details.

 

Thus I would pick you up about 1100. If we travelled via S__________, it will take less than 2 hours. One route goes via a nice riverside eating pub – outside in good weather, beside river – Museum 2.00 ish after lunch. May prefer get to Museum directly at 1.00 ish, have snack lunch then eat on way back. Could play it according to weather.

 

What do you think? It would be a good day out! If happy, what day? – so I can get exact train details. Of course I would regard myself as your host for all day and if any travel went awry, I would rescue you!

 

I thanked him and told him I appreciated all the effort he put into doing the research and that I was excited to finally meet him and I was sure we'd have lots of fun. I plan to speak to him on the phone before then. I like a man with a plan who can be flexible within that plan because that is how I am. I plan to pay for lunch.

 

Guys, you don't have to plan a long outing like this one. It's the overall tone of thoughtfulness and consideration for the woman that counts as well as the attention to detail. You don't have to be a martyr and do something you dislike either.

  • Like 1
Posted

He left out the plan on how to harvest your organs by the end of the night. How inconsiderate :(

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Posted
He left out the plan on how to harvest your organs by the end of the night. How inconsiderate :(

 

Yeah thats how I seen it.

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Posted

Whatever happened to "Let's meet at xyz restaurant at 7 pm" or "What's your address and I'll pick you up at 6:30 pm?".

 

Can't imagine dating Mr. OMGFixatedOnDetailsWhereI'mGoingToOrganizeYouDownToTheSecond.

Posted

Real men dont do long distance relationships or do this much research on planning a date for someone they havent even talked to on the phone yet

 

let me guess... OLD?

Posted

I can only imagine how anal he must be on a regular.

Posted
Real men dont do long distance relationships

 

Not sure I follow you on that one. What exactly is a "real" man?

  • Like 2
Posted
Not sure I follow you on that one. What exactly is a "real" man?

 

Someone who doesn't do long distance relationships.

 

 

Not to derail the thread but IMO long distance relationships are not real relationships.

Posted

real man? 'XXX at 10 pm, meet me there, dress and red heels'

Posted
Someone who doesn't do long distance relationships.

 

 

Not to derail the thread but IMO long distance relationships are not real relationships.

Tell all the families with their S.O in the forces that... :confused:

  • Like 2
Posted
Tell all the families with their S.O in the forces that... :confused:

 

Funny thing, I was actually going to say with the exception of military families, but I decided to just make a broader statement.

 

Really, though--aside from those situations, I think LDR are a sham/relationships in "theory", but not actual relationships. I'd never have one and continue to wonder why there are people out there who do.

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Posted

It sounds more like an arithmetic problem than a date.

  • Like 1
Posted
Funny thing, I was actually going to say with the exception of military families, but I decided to just make a broader statement.

 

Really, though--aside from those situations, I think LDR are a sham/relationships in "theory", but not actual relationships. I'd never have one and continue to wonder why there are people out there who do.

 

Funny how you mention that. When I was younger, and I was trying to get together with women in my area or even at college, apparently, some of the guys they dated in the area....they had to split up and go to different colleges once they graduated High School.

 

But still try to keep the fledgling home town relationship going. There was this one woman, she was a hostess at a local place, and went to the same class as I did.....apparently she'd visit him on the weekends, and he'd come down on weekends.

 

Eventually, it just wore on them.....for one, her boyfriend who was off at college was out socializing and going to parties, and of course temptation will be there to socialize with other cute, single ladies.

 

He didn't cheat, but that was enough to call things off with his g/f, he eventually stopped taking trips and the phone calls were dwindling.

Posted

I think it's great FitChick.. the problem is that it is so different that it throws a few red flags as well.. maybe not bad ones since this can be looked at from many different views..

 

During my dating years I once took and spent a great deal of time setting up something like this and after the day date I couldn't end it fast enough as I found out we weren't compatible on many levels..

 

then again... My wife and I went on a date similar to this but for a second date...we weren't long distance but it was still a day date about 100 miles away...

 

I guess YMMV.. good luck....

  • Like 1
Posted

I don't quite know what to say about this :eek:

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Posted
He left out the plan on how to harvest your organs by the end of the night. How inconsiderate :(

 

I can only imagine how anal he must be on a regular.

 

This.

Unless fitchick, is one of those women who outright say you expect the man to plan everything & do the heavy lifting in your profile.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

It takes a "real man" to have a long distance relationship. And a real woman, for that matter. Both emotionally mature, secure and not selfish ("I won't get laid as much if she's far away. Boo hoo!").

 

There are thousands of couples in LDRs around the world, even on this forum, and (shock) many get married and move to other countries. They actually believe in commitment. Weird, I know. If you don't have the balls for it, don't even attempt it.

 

I don't see understand why some of you think he is controlling. We both plan to be flexible within our plan. He knows his area better than I do. I have a limited amount of time to spend in his country and want to see and experience as much as possible. He has traveled all over the world himself. We are both very organized people. I do the same when friends visit me. They appreciate it.

 

I have no desire to repeat my experience of years ago when another man wanted to be "spontaneous" and just drive around randomly for a week. That might work under some circumstances but not during the height of tourist season where every decent place was booked weeks in advance and the roads were clogged with traffic. Never again!

  • Like 1
Posted
It takes a "real man" to have a long distance relationship. And a real woman, for that matter. Both emotionally mature, secure and not selfish ("I won't get laid as much if she's far away. Boo hoo!").

 

There are thousands of couples in LDRs around the world, even on this forum, and (shock) many get married and move to other countries. They actually believe in commitment. Weird, I know. If you don't have the balls for it, don't even attempt it.!

 

Matter of opinion I guess because in my opinion, a "real man" and/or "real woman" would say "I really like this person, but the distance makes no sense. I should leave this relationship and find someone who actually lives in my area"

Posted

I would hate that. It's not a date, it sounds like an elementary school outing. I can't believe he actually planned when you were going to eat and referred to train timing as 'sensible' (God forbid he be stuck with you on the slow train!).

Posted

Wow now we are spotting "red flags" in a man being polite, pro-active and making planning easier on the lady he is trying to impress. :rolleyes:

 

I think he sounds really nice and considerate. I like to have a plan, too.

  • Like 5
Posted

Actually for me it would be too much. He would be way too high on the planner index. I like things to be less planned. My sister is one of these. When we travel together, we have to schedule in free/unstructured time otherwise she plans ever second.

 

I don't know, I understand there is distance involved, but that is a ton of time together for a first meeting in my book.

  • Like 1
Posted

Im hot. I dont need to be considerate.

Posted

Plans are good but the detail to exact timing and you being at place A at this time and place B at exactly this time sounds like something out of Law and Order. It will personally freak me out. However it is nice that he went thru the trouble. Hopefully his intentions are pure. Yet this may work for some - I couldn't be with someone so anal, my ex was like this and I couldn't stand it. I am more than anal enough for myself.

Posted

I think it's considerate to figure out the logistics. Unfortunately my failed relationship taught me otherwise. It was construed as controlling, obsessive or condescending. Therefore I'd opt to state a time and location. Usually resulting in her late arrival and a missed reservation.

  • Author
Posted

When you are taking the train, you have to be on time because trains have schedules to keep. I wouldn't have known that one train took half an hour longer than another due to multiple stops if he hadn't told me. Wouldn't you assume they'd all take the same amount of time from Point A to Point B? I haven't been on a train in years and was concerned. I'd also be traveling to the train station during early morning rush hour and who knows how long that would take using public transportation. I haven't taken a bus in years either.

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