lilbittie Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Most of us have probably gone out on a few dates from people that we have met on dating sites. Well, I have gone out on quite a few and none have sparked my interest. I have been chatting with this guy for about three weeks and we decided to meet on my birthday of all days. I told him I was going out with some friends to celebrate and he asked if we could meet and he would bring a friend so it wouldn't be awkward. It was at a bar where my cousin bartends and many of my family and friends hang there on the regular so i agreed. So we meet and we connected. After a few drinks, we all decided to head out to a more quiet location so we ended up at my parent's house to drink and play pool. As the night went on this guy was becoming more touchy feely which I am not used to on a first meeting. We ended up kissing and WOW! I haven't felt shocks like that run through my body since I was a teenager kissing my very first boyfriend. Fast forward to later on in the night when everyone is drunk. This guy and I were in the kitchen alone, making out like teenagers. I would break away from him and he would let me but then come back for more. It was crazy! So everyone passed out except for us. We had sex. HOT SEX! I have never in my life had sex on a first meeting so I felt really awkward after. He assured me that it would not be a one night stand. Now for the freaky things that I think are red flags. Two days after we met he's sending me pictures of himself and asked if I'd send him one so I did. He told me the next day that he put my picture as a wallpaper on his cell phone. We are texting back and forth and he is telling me that we have a great connection and he KNOWS we are going to be together for a looong time. He knows that we are made for each other and can't wait to get to know me better. Four days after we meet he's sending me "I miss you" texts and "I'm excited to see you soon". Now for my feelings. I feel that we do have a great connection and I really like this guy. I just think that maybe he's moving too fast or may be really needy. I felt a connection towards him before we even kissed. I usually cringe at the thought of kissing someone for the first time but I didn't with him. I would NEVER have sex with someone the first time I meet them but it felt like it should have happened. I'm not at the "I miss you" stage and certainly do not believe in love at first sight. I really really like him but should I be worried? I feel a little freaked out.
truth_seeker Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 When people have sex too fast, either they are meant for each other, ie, the long haul, or they burn out fast. Only time will tell with your situation. My guess: you'll date for a month or two then break from each other. 1
melodymatters Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Relax and get to know the guy ! His excitement is OBVIOUSLY a much better sign than the opposite behavior. The best BF's and Husbands, are the one's who can't WAIT to see you, don't play games, and let you KNOW you are a priority !
TaraMaiden Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 When you open your office drawer/trunk of your car/wardrobe/dishwasher/suitcase - and he's there waving at you, he's a crazy stalker. Until then, tell him you've never been smitten so fast, and you'd like to take it a little slower now... You're glad he feels that way, but put the brakes on...... take it easy tiger.... you like to take your time usually, and sex doesn't = 'ownership'.... I think you need to be unambiguous about this, and set your boundaries now, sex or no sex....
Ninjainpajamas Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 So you don't like to move fast with guys but you meet them online, invite them to your birthday of all events with family and friends, then ask him back to your parents house, everyone gets wasted and you do him then and there and you're acting like he's the one that is moving fast? lol Man If I was him I'd be thinking damn...this girl has no sense and gets way too comfortable with guys too soon, I mean damn what's next, a close friends wedding next weekend? Luckily for you he didn't back off that apparent red flag (at least would have been for me) because IF you move that fast with a stranger, how fast do you move with someone you slightly know? Anyway, I think of course he's feeling it, he thought what you experienced was mutual and It was real since you slept with him. But why do I have the feeling that you are the one used to chasing jerks? I think you should talk with him about your concerns and do this crazy thing called communication instead of just developing your own mindset and play-by-play analysis (which women tend to be very poor at in general btw) and just get some clarity on things...tell him how you feel and where you are at so he can adjust accordingly and get to know him better. You obviously gave him reasons to believe that you are super interested in the guy, so he's basically going for it...not sure If it's because he's a nice guy or he's just a guy who found the kind of girl he can be really into...which tells me you are quite attractive to him because you don't know a whole lot about each other at that stage, now you should fast forward to more communication since you slept together. 1
River Rain Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 I don't think it's a big red flag, I think he just really likes you. It's normal to miss someone who you like, doesn't make a person needy.
yongyong Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 (edited) If he kept the messages very minimal OR even disappeared for several days, You would be very interested in him right? Guys don't want to be players, girls make them If you dump him, he will eventually learn 'oh after banging a girl, I shouldn't contact her for couple days, when she is very worried, I send the txt and she will be delighted to the roof!' Edited October 5, 2012 by yongyong 1
kaylan Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 OP how old are you two? And you need to calm down. Theres nothing wrong with missing a girl you really like that you have a great physical connection with. I will admit hes being a tad clingy early on...but just see where it goes.
mortensorchid Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 This whole situation sounds rather odd to me. You meet the guy on your birthday when you had planned to celebrate with friends, then invite him back to your parents' house where you ended up having sex? That's just nuts! But those facts aside, remember that the faster something is put together the faster it falls apart. So please approach this with caution, you are going to get burned if you aren't careful.
SJC2008 Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 He's either a stage 5 clinger OR he's doing it on purpose so you next him because he told you it wouldn't be a ONS and that's his style of pumping and dumping never say never lol. Now if he told you it wouldn't be a ONS before sex I'm going with the latter.
Divasu Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 "I miss you" stage after one date? Yes, natural for it to feel a bit stuffy. Sounds like he had great sex and he's still "on a high" from it. Hopefully it will wear off a bit. 1
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