lovecash Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Been almost a month of NC, I feel better and better every day. Its getting easier and easier for me, but I know everyday is getting harder for her. With the breakup, she had to completely ex-communicate herself from all of our friends and network, because she "wanted to explore feelings" with a coworker (everyone now hates her). I was with her for 4 years, and she has some pretty serious anxiety/emotional problems that she had to take anti-ds for (she just got off them a month before the breakup, coincidence?). She honestly has no clue how much work it took for me to take care of her and her issues. She is about to start her "busy season" at work, and with her anxiety problems and breakdowns I know she is bound to contact me for support/comfort as I have been there for her the past 4 years. The question is, what do I do when she inevitably does have an emotional breakdown and calls me?
Simon Phoenix Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Been almost a month of NC, I feel better and better every day. Its getting easier and easier for me, but I know everyday is getting harder for her. With the breakup, she had to completely ex-communicate herself from all of our friends and network, because she "wanted to explore feelings" with a coworker (everyone now hates her). I was with her for 4 years, and she has some pretty serious anxiety/emotional problems that she had to take anti-ds for (she just got off them a month before the breakup, coincidence?). She honestly has no clue how much work it took for me to take care of her and her issues. She is about to start her "busy season" at work, and with her anxiety problems and breakdowns I know she is bound to contact me for support/comfort as I have been there for her the past 4 years. The question is, what do I do when she inevitably does have an emotional breakdown and calls me? Let it go to voicemail.
Calico Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 I think if you project a little bit more, you could probably open a cinema. To me, it sounds like you are absolutely desperate for her to contact you, seeing that you have completely planned that out in your head, and if that's so, it's pretty clear what you'll do when and if she reaches out. I hope she won't reach out, for both your sake and hers. 3
geegirl Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Been almost a month of NC, I feel better and better every day. Its getting easier and easier for me, but I know everyday is getting harder for her. With the breakup, she had to completely ex-communicate herself from all of our friends and network, because she "wanted to explore feelings" with a coworker (everyone now hates her). I was with her for 4 years, and she has some pretty serious anxiety/emotional problems that she had to take anti-ds for (she just got off them a month before the breakup, coincidence?). She honestly has no clue how much work it took for me to take care of her and her issues. She is about to start her "busy season" at work, and with her anxiety problems and breakdowns I know she is bound to contact me for support/comfort as I have been there for her the past 4 years. The question is, what do I do when she inevitably does have an emotional breakdown and calls me? All this energy spent speculating on what the ex is doing, not doing, when she's doing it, what she'll be doing, who she's doing. You don't sit around analyzing her mindset and diagnosing her emotional state. The energy should be focused on you. You fix you. You heal you. She obvioulsy doesn't need your support when she's out there living her life and making her own choices, so she'll certainly be able to go on even when you ignore her attempts to use you as an emotional crutch. If she calls, ignore. If you want to be a doormat and pick her up when she falls, then you can do that too.
JayL Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 (edited) Wait, so she left you so she can "explore her feelings" with a co-worker and yet you still concern yourself about her? It may be hard to ignore the person we care for, but in the end of the day, she's his responsibility now, no longer yours. You were together, hence you had to take care of her. Now, she's with this "co-worker" , so let him worry about her. Move on, be happy, work on yourself and worry about yourself. Man... I thought I let myself be a doormat with my ex, but you're beating my record by doing this. Edited October 5, 2012 by JayL 1
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