Anna84 Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 earlier this week I wrote about how I wasn't sure whether the guy I'm dating is still interested, now here's another question; He asked me for my email 2 days back, and sent me something about a stand-up comedy event in the weekend, said that he might be going and if I fancied it? That all sounds good, but the past week he's been calling me rude names as well, and I don't know what to read from that. I've been called idiot, knob head () and twat (the first date we both stated that was 1 of our favourite swear words).. I know this sounds silly, but is it normal for guys that like girls to be rude like this?! or does he just not care/disinterested?
Emilia Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 he's 26, not far from 27 . . . I thought you were going to say 16 He has no manners and was raised in a barn. NEXT!
mtber75 Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 His pretty immature. But I think its his way of being friendly like his your buddy. In other words, its just guy talk. But it is pretty inappropriate when your talking to your gf.
MilitantPacifist Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 That all sounds good, but the past week he's been calling me rude names as well, and I don't know what to read from that. I've been called idiot, knob head () and twat (the first date we both stated that was 1 of our favourite swear words).. I know this sounds silly, but is it normal for guys that like girls to be rude like this?! or does he just not care/disinterested? Really depends on the context. Some people just have foul mouths, and calling other people names is a mark of familiarity. Without having actually heard instances where he used the words, it's impossible to say, but the fact that "twat" is something you both talked about on your first date suggests he's using it as a pet name. Very inappropriately so, but still.
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Being that the whole "twat" thing is an inside joke between you, that in particular wouldn't give me pause. However, if he's constantly doing this, with a whole range of names, he sounds very immature. Reminds me of boys teasing the girls they thought were pretty in grade school.
Author Anna84 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 we went on our fifth date last friday quite unexpectedly, he'd previously asked me if i wanted to go somewhere on sunday. Instead I texted him that I'd be in the center and that he should give me a shout if he wanted to meet me and have a drink. After some texting he said he was on the way in a cab. He spent the night, we slept in till 12 (we did anything BUT the deed, he made an effort), then had coffee outside and stayed in the cafe til 4. He left, giving me a kiss and saying he'd let me know about tomorrow. Personally, I didn't really care whether we'd meet up or not that following day; We'd already spent fri./sat. together, and we both have busy lives during the week. In other words, I would've been fine with cancelling the date for another time. However, he never texted me, to either cancel or confirm, while he was the one who said the day before 'I'll let you know about tomorrow'. I find it annoying when people say something and just don't do it, he shouldn't have said anything in that case. He hasn't been online on whatsapp/FB or anything since saterday, so it got me a bit worried. I don't even know if I'm asking for opinions/advice here, but just need to vent I suppose. Don't know if I'm cut out for this dating business :S
Emilia Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 (edited) Don't know if I'm cut out for this dating business :S Perhaps it would pay if you became more selective with your charms I agree that some people swear a lot and I had an ex who struggled to filter his words but you have to wonder why a guy wouldn't be aware of social norms as his age. Hawaii is also correct that he might have been neg hitting you Edited October 8, 2012 by Emilia
heather_1 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 He is probably just chucking in a few negs to try and show that he is the dominant being. Dont worry too much!
Author Anna84 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 Thanks all for the input Phineas; I'd say 6,5-7. I've had more handsome boyfriends, but I don't care -that- much about hotness. He's 2 years younger than me, so him being immature could very well be the case. Not going to chase him now though, that's a sure thing.
xdahliax Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 (edited) I wouldn't appreciate that at all, and it would be the end of my relationship. Respect in a relationship is very important to me. There is nothing about calling a girl an idiot or a knobhead that demonstrates respect. My momma gave me a name for a reason. Edited October 8, 2012 by xdahliax
SJC2008 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 He's probabaly a vebally abusive psycho and is testing early on to see if you'll put up with his crap.
Febreze Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 earlier this week I wrote about how I wasn't sure whether the guy I'm dating is still interested, now here's another question; He asked me for my email 2 days back, and sent me something about a stand-up comedy event in the weekend, said that he might be going and if I fancied it? That all sounds good, but the past week he's been calling me rude names as well, and I don't know what to read from that. I've been called idiot, knob head () and twat (the first date we both stated that was 1 of our favourite swear words).. I know this sounds silly, but is it normal for guys that like girls to be rude like this?! or does he just not care/disinterested? Calling someone names is very childish and I wont stand for it so why should u? This guy needs to grow up because if u continue seeing him and he keeps doing it, he'll get meaner.
Author Anna84 Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 (edited) ..yeah, that was a whole hearted 'haha' in the title, nothing to do with covering up embarrassment anyway! This business needs one last vent. The guy I've been dating for short over a month rang me yesterday, saying he didn't see much of a future between us. He pardoned himself for not having gotten back to me that Sunday (we had an appointment, set up by himself). Also, he said he thought I was cool, that we got along, but that at the moment he was just not that reliable (basically saying, I just don't like you enough to pursue any further!). I said, that's fine, kinda feel the same, 't was nice getting to know you! End of. BUT!! some things still bug me a bit, almost give me a little shiver up my spine. From the start, he would always be the one who'd hand out compliments, saying that 'we're attracted to each other', 'we like each other', 'you're beautiful', how many kids I wanted (made me raise an eyebrow), -always- talking about kids.Then after I came back from holiday he also showed some explicit jealousy towards holiday photos of mine which had a few guy-friends on, he was always apping me every day the whole day till I let him know I wasn't that much into apping the entire day; i preferred different modes of communication. What I'm trying to say is that he seemed a smooth talker. I was the more reserved one, I didn't initiate or reciprocate to such topics of discussion. The first red flag was when he made a comment about the amount of money we'd spent on the third date, while he has a full time job and I am still a student looking for a job. I'd told him I'd pay him back my share (he'd paid it all because of something wrong with my card at the time) and he got all fussy, saying stuff like 'yeah, because you OWE me BIG TIME!!'. I asked him for his account no. and transferred it straight away, then got the unexpected comment back: 'saw you transferred the money, does this mean you've washed your hands of me?!'. Just thought it was all a bit weird, but thought I'd give it all another chance. The other red flags were where he invited himself to my place(s). First time he insisted on bringing me back to my mum's (so he knows where she lives now), but nothing wrong with that. Second time he proposed to come back to mine so he could wake me up on time as I had to get up early and it was already late, being very clear about that he didn't intend on having sex or anything -but stating before that he did think I was very hot and that he did WANT to have sex with me (very forward I thought, again raised an eyebrow but we both had drinks). I didn't think too much of it and brought him home. Everything but the deed happened. I moved house 1 week ago and then last weekend he invited himself to a friend I was staying at. I said no, meet me somewhere else, if you want to meet me. This he did and once we'd had a few drinks, he invited himself to my new place, saying again that he was only going to cuddle me, nothing more. I didn't want to be difficult as it was already late and he'd gone through the trouble of taking a cab just to meet me, and thought it was kind of sweet at the time, so brought him back to mine. Again, I let everything happen except for the actual deed. I did wonder however why he NEVER invited me to his place, and made kind of a deal out of it whenever I asked him. He assigned some sort of impossible task that I had to complete, in return I'd be allowed to see his house. I just think the whole thing is a bit fishy, and it is true, my ego did get dented a bit. This guy was the first to reject me while I already had my reservations about him but thought I'd give him a couple of chances. He called me names, was very forward near to disrespectful, stingy, not even that good looking (compared to former dates/boyfriends), less physically fit than me, no driving licence, and a lower education than me, has never had a long term relationship and was slagging me off for having had two LTR's - the reason I'm saying this is that he just did not have that much going for him in general, and yeah.. vent! Edited October 10, 2012 by Anna84
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