mvc Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Just a general question for everyone, What advice would you give someone going through the exact same thing you are right now? Gets you thinking (well it did for me)
Jingle14 Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Just a general question for everyone, What advice would you give someone going through the exact same thing you are right now? Gets you thinking (well it did for me) Hearing my story, I would probably say, as diplomatically as possible, 'he doesn't sound right in the head, completely immature and the fact he is in his 40's but driving around in a convertible Porsche with a stupid private plate and wears red Converse rings alarm bells of man in middle age crisis. Steer well clear and thank your lucky stars he can't damage you any more and that he's out of your life. You had a massively lucky escape, you'd have been wrecked if you'd stayed together for years. He's a weirdo, who writes nasty little notes about the person their supposed to love on their phone, how disrespectful, as soon as you found the first one you should have told him to eff right the way off. He sounds a complete coward and not man enough for you, no balls at all.' (in fact, my friends have all said that last sentence to me!).
River Rain Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 "You have no reason to settle. You have no reason to feel insecure. You're a good person, men are attracted to you. You have a big heart. You deserve to be with a man who loves and wants you back, who wants to spend time with you. Don't dwell on your mistakes, don't blame yourself, just move on. Keep yourself busy and meet as many new people as you can. Your special guy is just around the corner. Learn from your mistakes and chalk this one up to experience."
venusianx13 Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 I'm a year out of a very bad 5 year long relationship, and 7 months into a healthy one. I am here not because I have issues with my current partner, who is loving, kind, attentive, emotionally healthy and cares for me very much, but instead, because I realized I am still struggling to overcome the detrimental mental/emotional habits that I was left with after the relationship finally ended. Staying in an unhealthy/toxic relationship will affect your life for years to come, and will put a damper on healthy relationships. I have opened up to my boyfriend about this, and he is incredibly supportive, but I carry a lot of guilt with me. My self-esteem had suffered so badly for those 5 years of my life, where I was emotionally abused, cheated on, lied to and strung along, that it is almost impossible for me to wrap my head around someone TRULY loving me now. My advice would be: Don't give someone more chances than they deserve. If someone shows you who they really are, believe them, and don't hope and wait for them to change. You will never need to hear the words "I love you" when someone truly does, because they will SHOW you that they do. I knew my current boyfriend loved me before he spoke those words...because he showed me through his actions, every day. As for the fate of my current relationship, I want a future with this man, but unless I can learn to redirect old thought patterns, bad emotional habits, and regain my self-esteem, things may very well not work out. And this is all because I, time and time again, did not take any of "outs" I should have taken in my previous relationship. I hope to save people some heartache by sharing this...though I do realize that I never listened to anyone's good advice when I was wrapped up in that awful situation.
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