the_opposite_sex Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 I get so jealous when my b/f finds another girl attractive. I don't know what i'm so scared of....I don't ever think that he'd run off w/ one of them. Here's what my b/f has told me.... Baby, there is absolutely NO reason for you ro feel threatened by this girl or ANY girl for that matter...it doesn't matter to me what other girls LOOK like. Sweetie...when I say that other girls don't matter to me, it doesn't mean that I don't think about whether or not they are pretty... it means that I don't care about them in general b/c you are all that I care about... I still think there are pretty girls and such, but it's not a big deal.
miz_barby Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 Okay so what's wrong with that? I wouldn't want him to tell me that he thinks someone is pretty but it is only human nature to look at those we find attractive! As long as he doesn't "compare" you to these women or sit there and stare at them w/his mouth half open drooling or something rude like that then I don't think you have much to worry about!
Love2BLoved Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 There's nothing wrong with him acknowledging that a woman is beautiful. That should only show you that he is honest with you, he could easily lie to you and say, "oh no, that woman is UGLY", but you know that she's really not!!! Wouldn't that make you think that he does not feel comfortable enough around you to be able to be honest. Me and my husband can discuss or give an opinion on the way someone else looks without either one getting jealous, because I feel secure about myself. If he tells me another woman is attractive it shows that he's only acknowledging her beauty and nothing more than that. Where if he just keeps it to himself he's probably thinking more than "she's cute"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Taken_Angel Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 I agree that you shouldn't be jealous over your BF thinking some other woman is pretty, I understand you wanting him to find you desirable but since you are not the only female on the planet it's kind of hard to keep him from finding other women attractive. You should not push this issue because it is petty but instead you should attempt to find ways to build your own self esteem. You can only make yourself feel better, something that makes you feel better about yourself that comes from someone else is superficial and underneath you'll still be the same insecure person that felt bad in the first place. Good luck and I hope things get better.
Author the_opposite_sex Posted July 28, 2004 Author Posted July 28, 2004 something he keeps reassuring me of, is that i'm so completely different from those other attractive women out there. He said that of course he looks, but he could care less what other women look like. when I say that other girls don't matter to me, it doesn't mean that I don't think about whether or not they are pretty... it means that I don't care about them in general b/c you are all that I care about... I still think there are pretty girls and such, but it's not a big deal That's what he said to me on Yahoo last night.
Love2BLoved Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 So what's the problem then? Obviously he is not giving you a reason to feel insecure!!!! You need to get some self esteem.
Author the_opposite_sex Posted July 28, 2004 Author Posted July 28, 2004 Yes I do have a low self esteem. I'm starting to realize it isn't him, it's me...one of those sorta situations.
jw32802 Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 Think of it like this. Imagine you were walking through the mall and a guy was sitting there w/ his girlfriend and you know you were looking cute, and the girl sitting there said "do you think she is pretty?" and he said "No she is ugly" wouldn't you be like "i know im cute!" in your head....What i mean is, if your boyfriend found every other girl other than you pretty, then that means that other guys find YOU ugly because they are with their girls. Maybe that doesnt make sense lol. Just because a guy is your boyfriend doesnt mean that he doesnt notice things. Its like noticing a beautiful landscape or something. You notice it. me and my ex used to point out people all the time; once you take it and use it as something fun to do, its amazing the release you feel when you are no longer jealous, you feel like "im so confident!" and guys think you are SUCH a cool girl if you can point out cute girls for your boyfriend lol.
Author the_opposite_sex Posted July 28, 2004 Author Posted July 28, 2004 We have actually done things like that before....as far as "having fun" w/ it, but inside, I still felt jealous. I just didnt say anything to him about it b/c he was having fun. He's the type of guy who likes to have fun anyways. That's his personality. But even though we're having fun w/ these girls i point out, i know he still likes what he sees. He has commented on guys too, before, just tryin to get me to ease up by sayin "he's a nice lookin guy isn't he?" or "wow look at his arms! he's a buff one!" just remarks like that. lol
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