Facebook - Dumpers, ever tempted to look at your ex's profile?

[Jingle14]

As a dumpee, I have never been tempted to look - I know I have been replaced and that's as much as I care to know - I could not face the inevitable hurt.

 

But, do 'they' ever look are ours, I wonder?

 

I am pretty sure he won't (although I know how sneaky he can be, from my own experience) but 'just in case' I always make sure all my posts are positive and with happy, smiling photos of me with my friends, with my son, from wherever we go. Reading it, you would think my life was so busy and great - working away in London several days a week, out with my friends, weekends away - all of which is true but 'glammed up' a bit. I woulnd't ever want him to think I am still pining for him (I am, all my busy life is just a mask for how I really feel, and have done for 15 months).

 

Any thoughts/personal experience as either a dumper or dumpee? I personally think he'll be too busy with his own life to be curious about mine but I guess you never know what's really going on with them and they may not be as happy as we assume they are.

[kalaslsl]

I deleted her first.

Then she proceeded to block me.

So now if I wanted to take a look at her profile I would have to create a fake account and send her a friend request to see if she accepts.

Too much work, not worth it.

[Hobbit]

Yes, so I unfriended her. One of the first things I did, now if the temptation is there I cant (unless I befriend her again, which is unlikley)

[TaraMaiden]

Dumpers do it all the time.

They send a message,

"Hey, what's up?"

 

"Saw on your profile you're *insert activity here* - So cool!"

 

"Sorry to hear about your pet rabbit...("

 

"Who's the new squeeze on your arm? You look happy!"

 

Anything to grab your attention, stay on your radar and generally bug the hell out of you.

 

Block. Delete.

Ignore.

[Liz2012]

Yes they do, or they follow the news feed.

[Jingle14]

Dumpers do it all the time.

They send a message,

"Hey, what's up?"

 

"Saw on your profile you're *insert activity here* - So cool!"

 

"Sorry to hear about your pet rabbit...("

 

"Who's the new squeeze on your arm? You look happy!"

 

Anything to grab your attention, stay on your radar and generally bug the hell out of you.

 

Block. Delete.

Ignore.

 

I never hear from mine, any (minimal) contact has been instigated by me, it's like I never existed (and this was an incredibly intense and supposed to be 'forever' relationship, where we had never felt like that before ever and we are both in our 40's).

 

He unfriended me when we were still in contact and supposed to be friends in real life, which was hurtful. But I'm still curious whether I ever enter his mind - especially after a really warm and fond, and unexpected, reply to an email I sent him recently to share some relevant news.

 

I was his fantasy (ludicrous in my eyes, it's only 'me'!) for almost 3 years before we got together, so I would like to think I occasionally at least enter into his consciousness.

 

I wouldn't block him though, I want him to see I'm not (outwardly) broken and in pieces, if he ever did look.

[I'm nuts]

Dumpers do it all the time.

They send a message,

"Hey, what's up?"

 

"Saw on your profile you're *insert activity here* - So cool!"

 

"Sorry to hear about your pet rabbit...("

 

"Who's the new squeeze on your arm? You look happy!"

 

Anything to grab your attention, stay on your radar and generally bug the hell out of you.

 

Block. Delete.

Ignore.

 

I couldn't give a rats arse. TM is so right, they want to keep you on their radar by any old means.

 

There was/is a girl I really care about and she has to start a new chapter in her life, so I told her we have to stop contact out of respect of her new status, so sadly I had to remove her from skype and not make any more contact with her, hard work doing that after looking after someone for 6 - 7 years, but within a month she has readded herself on skype under a new ID and E mailed me twice for petty things

 

They don't want to fall of your radar, their ego wont allow it, it depends whether it bothers you or not, knowing someone for such a long time really doesn't me. It really is normal behaviour.

[Jingle14]

They don't want to fall of your radar' date=' their ego wont allow it, it depends whether it bothers you or not, knowing someone for such a long time really doesn't me. It really is normal behaviour.[/quote']

 

Seriously? Even if I've not heard from him and he is, so far as I know, with someone else and has been for a year (days after he was last in my bed!) he might be looking on my Facebook page? (obviously, I know no-one can read his mind but you know what I mean). In June he told me he was happy (although can't say as he much looks it) so I can't imagine he would be.

[I'm nuts]

Don't you know how to check who has been looking at your facebook profile?

 

Really everyone is different, but I think personally it is human nature to be curious about people we know or have liked, unless we really end up hating them, but if will have good memories and a fondness for the person we will check on them.

 

Sometimes it can takes years to hear from someone, sometimes a few months, but if someone is fond of you, you will hear from them again, the answer is in your own heart, your heart knows who will still be thinking of you all your life. Some will some wont.

[Jingle14]

Don't you know how to check who has been looking at your facebook profile?

 

Really everyone is different, but I think personally it is human nature to be curious about people we know or have liked, unless we really end up hating them, but if will have good memories and a fondness for the person we will check on them.

 

Sometimes it can takes years to hear from someone, sometimes a few months, but if someone is fond of you, you will hear from them again, the answer is in your own heart, your heart knows who will still be thinking of you all your life. Some will some wont.

 

No I don't know how to see who has looked at my profile, is that even possible as I didn't think it was??

[I'm nuts]

Yes it is, tricks of the trade, is/was he on your friend list?

[Jingle14]

Yes it is' date=' tricks of the trade, is/was he on your friend list?[/quote']

 

He was but not since August 2011 when he unfriended me. I don't want to see his profile though, couldn't deal with what I might find.

[Drseussgrrl]

I'm still friends with my ex on FB. But he is hidden in my feed and I never look at his page.

 

He, on the other hand, constantly "likes" stuff I post. It's funny to me. I don't know if he's trying to get me to contact him or what but it's going to take a lot more than "liking" my FB updates/photos.

 

I'd also like to know who is looking at my profile?

[mtnbiker]

Yes it is' date=' tricks of the trade, is/was he on your friend list?[/quote']

 

I have read that those sites are untrue. I have also heard that you can see who has looked, but not when. So obviously I have no idea, haha.

[GlassParasol]

I un-friended him about a month after BU. Unfortunately, stupid me forgot to block him, so I still occasionally see when friends like his statuses (which brings a jolt :/), although I'm unable to see the content of them unless I choose to and luckily he never updates much. I refuse to let myself know what he's up to, so at least there's that.

[I'm nuts]

He was but not since August 2011 when he unfriended me. I don't want to see his profile though, couldn't deal with what I might find.

 

Good, then let sleeping dogs lie.

[I'm nuts]

I'm still friends with my ex on FB. But he is hidden in my feed and I never look at his page.

 

He, on the other hand, constantly "likes" stuff I post. It's funny to me. I don't know if he's trying to get me to contact him or what but it's going to take a lot more than "liking" my FB updates/photos.

 

I'd also like to know who is looking at my profile?

 

Observe carefully It might not be 100% be it's gives you a pretty good idea, there are few methods and you need to add them all together to give you an idea, people on your friend list and those who are not.

[Jingle14]

Observe carefully It might not be 100% be it's gives you a pretty good idea' date=' there are few methods and you need to add them all together to give you an idea, people on your friend list and those who are not.[/quote']

 

Sounds very cryptic? As long as there is no chance of me seeing his profile page, I'm willing to give methods a go though, whatever they are.....?

[Simon Phoenix]

I'm still friends with my ex on FB. But he is hidden in my feed and I never look at his page.

 

He, on the other hand, constantly "likes" stuff I post. It's funny to me. I don't know if he's trying to get me to contact him or what but it's going to take a lot more than "liking" my FB updates/photos.

 

I'd also like to know who is looking at my profile?

 

This is the same setup I have. I still have her as my friend but I recently blocked her news feed and haven't gone to her profile in about two weeks, give or take a day.

 

As far as looking at your profile, I've heard a good reliable way is to see how your friends are ordered in your friend list. While it's not exact order or anything, if you scan through it the people nearer to the top are typically people you interact with the most (or who view your content the most) on Facebook while the friends become more and more obscure as you scan down. My ex is always at or near the top, but then again that could be because I looked at her page a lot for about a month-plus after our break. She doesn't use Facebook much, at least to update statuses or throw in pictures, but I know she used to check my page while we were dating. No clue how much, or if, she does now and I don't really care to know.

[I'm nuts]

Sounds very cryptic? As long as there is no chance of me seeing his profile page, I'm willing to give methods a go though, whatever they are.....?

 

Sorry, I don't really want to say exactly. I hate facebook, but I have a good idea who looks at my boring profile the most out of my 'friends', and who has looked at my profile who isn't a 'friend', believe me my facebook page is very dull, mainly business pictures.

[I'm nuts]

This is the same setup I have. I still have her as my friend but I recently blocked her news feed and haven't gone to her profile in about two weeks, give or take a day.

 

As far as looking at your profile, I've heard a good reliable way is to see how your friends are ordered in your friend list. While it's not exact order or anything, if you scan through it the people nearer to the top are typically people you interact with the most (or who view your content the most) on Facebook while the friends become more and more obscure as you scan down. My ex is always at or near the top, but then again that could be because I looked at her page a lot for about a month-plus after our break. She doesn't use Facebook much, at least to update statuses or throw in pictures, but I know she used to check my page while we were dating. No clue how much, or if, she does now and I don't really care to know.

 

I believe that was the old way, timeline is slightly different but still quite obvious. Plus people you may know and search

[Simon Phoenix]

I believe that was the old way' date=' timeline is slightly different but still quite obvious. Plus people you may know and search [/quote']

 

I still think it holds true to some extent. The same 10-15 people show up in your friends displays for the most part and then if you click on your friends to get the entire list, it lists them in an order that makes a bit too much sense. For example, the ex-worker who I haven't seen in eight years who never comments or likes a status doesn't pop up.

[I'm nuts]

It's good to know who your stalkers are.

[Jingle14]

I still think it holds true to some extent. The same 10-15 people show up in your friends displays for the most part and then if you click on your friends to get the entire list, it lists them in an order that makes a bit too much sense. For example, the ex-worker who I haven't seen in eight years who never comments or likes a status doesn't pop up.

 

But isn't this all dependant on their being a FB friend and, if they are not a friend then they wouldn't show up anyway?

[Simon Phoenix]

But isn't this all dependant on their being a FB friend and, if they are not a friend then they wouldn't show up anyway?

 

I guess. I have no clue about that. My ex is still a friend on mine -- I just have her news feed blocked and I don't check her page.