Engaged men have profiles/pics up looking 4 sex from local women? Keeping it secret?

[sally1530]

What is your opinions....

 

Is it okay for an engaged man late 30's to be advertising himself as single on a sex site seaching for local women to have sex with? With a profile and picture (with shirt off ) ? And keep it secret from your future wife?

 

Is this normal? or is this guy a sex addict?

[Bronzepen]

I don't believe he's a sex addict.

 

He just can't commit to a relationship or be with one person.

 

Honesty and commitment are not his strong points right now.

[Debster]

I can't believe you even had to ask.

Of course it is not normal.

I hope to god you are not still engaged to this man.

[sally1530]

no when I confronted him he lied alot and then I forgave him because I loved him and thought we could work things out. But then he cancelled the wedding 3 days later, night before the wedding shower without talking to me first, he told his entire family first , then me and said he couldnt trust me anymore and that hes damaged me beyond repair and that my image of him is tanted. He then told me to move out the next morning, I did, he asked for the ring back, I gave it to him and he wanted me to pay 1/2 the wedding costs, which would total $9,000... I said no. Hes so mad at me that he never wants to speak or see me again. Thats the end of that. Its been three months, his last contact was a month ago. I dont have anything else to say to him at this point.. the damage is done... I guess he never loved me in the first place.

[sally1530]

UGGG!!!

[ntovrhm]

He is not normal, or healthy for you. Blaming you for the trust he lost, when he was out there trolling the Internet for some cheap sex? Please! You deserve so much better . . . and NEVER give him the other half of the costs back. Sounds like a socio-path to me . . . .

[sally1530]

He thinks Im a money grubbin gal who cant trust him.... and that Ive invaded his privacy...

 

First: Im sucessful , great job, all most paid off townhome, money in my bank account, no debt, great credit... so as far as money goes... I didnt ever want any of his... i am successful on my own.

 

Second: I told him both of my other two boyfriends cheated on me and I caught them. Cheaters leave tracks... He knew about this and cheated anyway...out of disrespect for me and for his selfish needs.

 

Third: Yes I invaded his privacy, but i didnt think he was cheating, I was just wondering about the bachlor party he was planning, cause he was making such a big stink about it. Plus if were getting married in a month you shouldnt have secrets like that from your future wife... hello? I kept no secrets from him because I had nothing to hide.

 

It just sucks that he makes me out to be this horrible person, when im not... how does he expect me to respond to lying , cheating , wedding cancelled, kicked out, and never talked or seen again? Am I supposed to be crawling back to him, asking for his forgiveness?

[ntovrhm]

NO!!! You are the one who can't trust him!!!!! He was the one you put his picture up on a site to find sex!!!

 

Unless you two had an agreement, this is an attempt at cheating!!!!!

 

 

Don't let him think that YOU are the one that can't be trusted, because he's just mad that he didn't get away with it and trying to make YOU feel bad for it.

 

I hope you told all your family and friends what he did. . . and that they told you to kick him to the curb!!!

[sally1530]

I told everyone I know.... what he did. His family and friends didnt want to know , so I spared him because Im a good person. He told them bad lies about me to save face....

 

He acts like he is the victim to his family and friends.... what an jerk.

 

Anyway we didnt have any arrangement and he knew 150% that I would not approve of this type of behavior but he did it anyway.... the entire 14 month relationship. I asked him if I wouldnt have found out , would you have kept on doing it... he said yes and that he would have still married me...

[jay27]

I had a suspicion about my live-in boyfriend of two years. I checked his email, which led me to a site called Ashley Madison. It is a site for attached people looking for affairs. I found his bio:

 

Believe it or not, I'm just looking for a hot and steamy affair with a gorgeous woman...no strings attached. Whether it's an ongoing thing or a one-night stand all depends on the woman. I am in a good relationship but the excitement has just gone out of it. I'm not looking to get serious with anyone else...just some good, clean, shake the walls sex.

 

He also had a picture up, it was one that was taken of us on holiday, but he had digitally removed me from the picture. I also found an incredibly explicit email from him to another woman. Can't repeat anything that he said on this post...

 

I thought I was going to marry him...I thought he was about to propose...everything seemed perfect...

 

He says he was just bored at work and that it meant nothing.

 

I don't know whether to leave him or not...two years is so much time to throw away, but I feel that this was emotional cheating. He says it never went past the online stuff, but how do I believe him? What does anyone else think? Was this cheating? Should I really throw two years away over this.

[sally1530]

When I caught my man doing that , he couldnt look me in the eye anymore and I knew then we were in trouble. I forgave him and it wasnt enough.... how would I ever trust him again>

 

If he is doing that already and you are not engaged or married... then I say cut your losses... get out... if hes already bored with you.... it isnt going to change.... period... some men need multiple women....