mcastr8 Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 GOD I NEED SOMEONE'S HELP I FEEL TORE UP INSIDE.three months ago i started dating an ex of mine. we went out during out teenage years, and broke up twice, once over a rumor and once over his jealousy. this time everythings seemed so perfect. i had some issues with his past becuase he slept around alot and then he changed, he was married but got divorced becuase the girl cheated on him. he had told me he fell in love with one girl and she broke his heart, and when he found me, he followed his heart and asked me out again. i was cautious at first, we met and had lunch, he intorduced me to the most important people in his life that same day, his godmother and her family. he held my hand, kissed me. later he told me he loved me, eventhough i asked him not to tell me until he was sure, positively sure he loved me. he got jealous when men looked at me, started coming to my house more often and showing affection for me like he had never before, holding me, hugging me,kissing me, he even cried infront of me one day saying i was the one he had been looking for, i made him happy and he was crying from happiness. and then he stopped coming in one week because he got a second job, and when he came he was depressed and looked confused. he said he didnt know if he was gay or bisexual. he said that he loved me but didnt know anything else. he said he touched me beucase he felt he had to make me feel needed, which really insults me. he said he knew from before that he had sexual deisires of other men, even when he was younger, and still had alot of girlfriends and got married. he loved the women, cared for them deeply and was jealous when men got around them. he told me he felt overprotective of them, and he did the same to me. when we broke up he was jealosu because i supposedly cheated on him. how can he feel jealous if he is gay? can he be bi? why the hell did he llook for me when he knew he didn make other women happy, why not leave it alone, and figure it out why? why go to the extremem of intorducing me to all his friends and getting really close to my family when he knew he wasnt sure, he coudl have told me, and i woudl have respected him and given him time, but no i feel like a fool and angry i need advice, what to do, i need to let this out. to me it means every kiss, every hug and emotion he said was a lie and i loved him.
YellowLioness Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 First off, *hug.* That's really rough, hon. Before I offer advice, I just wanted to try to comfort you. IMHO, he was extreme in the way he portrayed his emotions in order to cover up the fact that he is bi to his family members. Gay men don't sleep with women at all. This is not to say that he will not decide that he is gay later in life. Perhaps he was trying to hide being bi from himself. Perhaps he thought he could forget about wanting another man if he tried hard enough to fall in love with a woman. Truly, I'm sorry that you got caught in this. It's not your fault that he's trying so hard to find out who he is. It's not fair that you had to bear the reprocussions of his actions. I think you should tell him that. Regardless of how lost he is, you did not deserve what treatment you received. He needs to learn that no one can make him straight if that's not what he is biologically. It's not fair to use someone, both emotionally and physically, in that manor. I don't sugar coat things. Perhaps this is a little to the point, but you deserve someone being honest with you.
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