Sun Devil Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Even though I have been improving myself, I keep getting this feeling that I will never be able to get a girl. I do not know why I get these but I would like to know how to deal with them. I try to take my mind off girls by doing things I enjoy, but the thoughts keep coming back. Do any of you have these thoughts or did you have them yet found a way to overcome it?
mortensorchid Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 I know how you feel. I feel like no one wants me, whether he's a good or bad type. THe bad ones don't want you because they're bad, the good ones feel like they can't measure up to you or be exciting enough for you. It's a double edged sword. All you can do is just be and keep on going doing whatever it is you're doing. Depression and self pity settle in, but what choice do you have? All you can do is be happy with how things are. Because no one likes being around a sad sack or something who rages out at others. Hopefully it's all going to work out in the end, either meeting Mr./Miss Right (or Right Now) or being alone.
Ross MwcFan Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 (edited) Even though I have been improving myself, I keep getting this feeling that I will never be able to get a girl. I do not know why I get these but I would like to know how to deal with them. I try to take my mind off girls by doing things I enjoy, but the thoughts keep coming back. Do any of you have these thoughts or did you have them yet found a way to overcome it? I used to feel exactly the same way, I had this deep deep feeling, that I will never get a girl, or maybe even attract one. And then that would trigger the most horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Having access to porn helped me deal with feeling down about it. For some people watching porn makes them feel worse if they can't get a girl, but for me it helps me feel better, at least I'm getting to see naked girls doing sexual stuff, that's much better than before when I didn't even have that, and it helps a hell of a lot with the sexual frustration too. What helped me overcome the feeling that I'll never get a girl, was when I started to experience women being attracted to me online, having flings online, and a couple of relationships online. It made me think, maybe there are women who will be attracted to me in real life, maybe it is possible for me to get a woman in real life. Edited October 5, 2012 by Ross MwcFan
jcrew11 Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Even though I have been improving myself, I keep getting this feeling that I will never be able to get a girl. I do not know why I get these but I would like to know how to deal with them. I try to take my mind off girls by doing things I enjoy, but the thoughts keep coming back. Do any of you have these thoughts or did you have them yet found a way to overcome it? Just lower your expectations and standards to 1. You'r probably not going to get the blonde model with no confidence. Start small and if you look in the mirror and see a below-average guy, you're going to have better chances with a similar chubbier girl with low self esteem. Otherwise, try to improve your looks to the point that girls will be attracted to you. Or improve the way you communicate to girls. Gel your hair, get some chains, buy some nice clothes.
Author Sun Devil Posted October 5, 2012 Author Posted October 5, 2012 I am trying to improve myself. I have been working out, purchased some new clothes, and improving my communication skills. I am worried that girls will not be able to overlook my height and my virginity. I hope that improving myself will help me get girls, but some people have said that my height is a dealbreaker no matter what I do.
ThaWholigan Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 I am trying to improve myself. I have been working out, purchased some new clothes, and improving my communication skills. I am worried that girls will not be able to overlook my height and my virginity. I hope that improving myself will help me get girls, but some people have said that my height is a dealbreaker no matter what I do. The people who say this are bitter/moany/jaded men with either an agenda, or a misguided belief that they are helping you. It's not worth it listening to them and believing you can do nothing about it. You are better off at least trying to be positive.
Author Sun Devil Posted October 5, 2012 Author Posted October 5, 2012 I guess people like Dr gobbels and colez fanboy are either bitter men ore just trolling. I hope that what these bitter men say is not true
ThaWholigan Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 I guess people like Dr gobbels and colez fanboy are either bitter men ore just trolling. I hope that what these bitter men say is not true It is their reality, I would be loathe to deny it. It however is not my reality, and it doesn't have to be yours. I know men who are almost as short as you and seen them do relatively well with women. I have a short brother and short friends who are doing well with women - one of them I just found out got engaged to a very good looking girl. Last I remember, he was 5 foot 5. Titanwolf is a poster here with a GF and he is 5 foot 4. You are probably the shortest, but it shouldn't make a big difference. You have to have perseverance. I think that for some people, it is a lesson they learn, and a latent trait they have to cultivate and manifest, as I have had to do.
Author Sun Devil Posted October 5, 2012 Author Posted October 5, 2012 I know preseverance is important and I continue to talk to girls. However, it is always the same. I get their number and ask them out and they either have a boyfriend or do not respond back. As I have mentioned on another thread, I had planned to lose virginity to escorts, but decided to delay that until December unless I am able to get a girl by then.
ThaWholigan Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 I know preseverance is important and I continue to talk to girls. However, it is always the same. I get their number and ask them out and they either have a boyfriend or do not respond back. As I have mentioned on another thread, I had planned to lose virginity to escorts, but decided to delay that until December unless I am able to get a girl by then. Sometimes that's the breaks. It took many rejections before I got a rather unexpected sexual opportunity. It will happen. You have to keep toiling. But don't just go out there unprepared though. Make sure you learn as you go along, become more comfortable as you go along and don't dwell. Other wise you start to depend on the outcome, it's all about the goal, the result. And it takes away from what could be an enjoyable process if you navigate it right. Seek the necessary information out there to help you. It doesn't have to be PUA, but it can be anything that you feel can help you and give you not just a boost, but a vital piece of info that could potentially upgrade yourself.
jcrew11 Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Since you are desperate, I would recommend joining a Yoga class to meet girls, and you'll probably feel better fitness wise and healthier. Those girls are more relaxed and less concerned about height am more interested in being spiritually sound. If that fails, just date a chubby girl or divorced mom, or black girl.
Author Sun Devil Posted October 5, 2012 Author Posted October 5, 2012 I can't date a chubby girl. I am not attracted to them and being chubby is unhealthy. Divorced moms have too much baggage, especially at this age
yongyong Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 you know fat chicks have standards in America right? It is an insult to them if you tell them, 'date someone like you' because we shouldn't judge the person by their appearance :laugh: Since you are desperate, I would recommend joining a Yoga class to meet girls, and you'll probably feel better fitness wise and healthier. Those girls are more relaxed and less concerned about height am more interested in being spiritually sound. If that fails, just date a chubby girl or divorced mom, or black girl.
ascendotum Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 I am trying to improve myself. I have been working out, purchased some new clothes, and improving my communication skills. I am worried that girls will not be able to overlook my height and my virginity. I hope that improving myself will help me get girls, but some people have said that my height is a dealbreaker no matter what I do. I get the impression, the changes you have made have really only been this year. It will take a like time to refine your convo & body language skills, and the gym will be a work in progress over many years. When it comes to your virginity, keep your mouth shut about it or lie. I'm curious, what role model or style did you use when it came to your new clothes? Your height will be a deal breaker for a lot of women, but it wont be an absolute outright deal-breaker that will make your topic heading come true. It will be harder and you will face more rejections unfortunately, but you are still really young to be so brutally pessimistic. I would have thought you have a few friends or others you know who are also single and not finding it easy going in love. Try to also increase your social network to increase opportunities and to give off a vibe that you are a fun loving guy. It sounds like you are proactive on getting a gf and have improved yourself, which is the way to go, the downside with that is the harder you try the more frustrating it becomes when results don't come, but you just might have to be less anxious over getting fast results. 1
Eddie Edirol Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 I know preseverance is important and I continue to talk to girls. However, it is always the same. I get their number and ask them out and they either have a boyfriend or do not respond back. . What have you been doing to improve yourself in the realm of understanding how to attract women? Preserverence only works when you know why youre striking out. 1
ascendotum Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 ^ Eddie, that can be hard to tell for a lot of guys, and its instinct to assume its your looks.
ThaWholigan Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 ^ Eddie, that can be hard to tell for a lot of guys, and its instinct to assume its your looks. Don't I know it. I thought I was ugly until I reached my 20s ......
RiverRunning Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I had similar feelings about men through my adolescence. I figured I would be single for the rest of my life. To be honest? It's a VERY common thought - when I've brought it up to the people I know, every single one has told me they once felt the same way. I think it's normal if, to this point in your life you haven't dated anyone, you assume the rest of your life will always be the same. 5 1/2 to 6 years ago, I had never dated anyone, never had sex, no kind of contact with men whatsoever. I met my first boyfriend when I was 19. I've dated two men. I can tell you this: even dating people won't make those feelings go away. I still have low self-esteem. I still think, "If I left my current boyfriend, I would never be able to meet someone else. No one else would ever want me." the reality is, these thoughts are in my head just as much as they're in yours: they are not a part of reality. We could all stand to improve, but no one is ever perfect. On-line dating can really open your eyes to the world. Per my boyfriend's permission, I asked if I could start a 'dating' profile. I wanted to see what was out there (no, I had no intention of cheating. I had no intention of doing anything). I posted a few pictures of myself and sat back. You would be surprised how open and flirtatious people can be when they don't have to face immediate personal rejection. A wide array of men started flirting with...well, my pictures, as I never responded to any of them. The usual losers, some intelligent, educated, polite and funny men (of all shapes, sizes and appearances), and so on. Try to hold your head high, OP, is the lesson: you just never know who finds you attractive, even if you don't hold a high opinion of yourself.
Eddie Edirol Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 ^ Eddie, that can be hard to tell for a lot of guys, and its instinct to assume its your looks. Research is what I meant. the internet, and asking people - (although most people dont know, and many that do know wont have the patience to tell you). Theres plenty of info for men to learn, its all out there. Its as simple as googling "what do women want" and starting from there. For some reason many guys just dont think to research there. I know I didnt, at first, until crisis hit. people now dont even try to look for the answers themselves, they just ask other people. 1
yongyong Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 Don't listen to this. especially the part I highlighted. That kind of act is putting a pussy on a pedestal with bulletproof casing. You can take some consideration but that's all. Research is what I meant. the internet, and asking people - (although most people dont know, and many that do know wont have the patience to tell you). Theres plenty of info for men to learn, its all out there. Its as simple as googling "what do women want" and starting from there. For some reason many guys just dont think to research there. I know I didnt, at first, until crisis hit. people now dont even try to look for the answers themselves, they just ask other people.
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