DavidG Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Most of you have read my story and Ive been going strong with NC even though its killing me. Last night my ex sent me a song in an email "didnt you know how much i loved you" and I replied with please stop. Well I just got a call from her and like an idiot my heart dropped and I answered it. It was small talk mixed with sentimental stuff moxed in and after a while I couldnt take it. I told her I had to go eat and id talk to her later. I could tell in her voice that she didnt want me to get off the phone with her but I did anyways. What the hell to I do guys? I know NC is the only way and maybe im stupid but what do you all see from this? I messed up and I of course want her back. Please guide me in the right direction. Im pretty choked up over this now. Thanks in advance.
NoMoreJerks Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 You had a weak moment. We all do. I just did, and regretted it big time. Feeling worse than I did right after the break-up. Go back to NC. And stick to it this time around. She's using you as an emotional crutch. What do you mean when you say "messed up"? Did YOU dump her?
Calico Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 If I recall correctly, your ex had dumped you, then got together with another man, then dumped him, and then told you she doesn't know what she wants? So, has she made a decision now or is she just keeping you around until she figures out what she wants? My ex did that with me and I endured it for a few weeks before I walked away from it because I simply couldn't take it any longer (she then got together with the other guy as that was the "default", as she put it). She was quite visibly in agony during that time and emotionally highly stressed with a lot of tears. How much that meant, well, I saw that a little while later. I don't know. I doubt you'll be able to pull that off, and I don't know if I could do it, but if you want to be with this girl, then it may be best to not speak/interact with her for at least a month (better six weeks or eight) and then sit together and decide if you want to try this again. Getting back together right away, even if she offered that now, strikes me as a little messy. Breaking NC almost always causes a lot of extra pain. I broke it once and that was traumatic enough to stick to it. Things to get better after a while. Not every day, but there's progress.
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Ok, I just read your original story. Doesn't matter what we say right now, you're going to do what you feel is right. If: being with her/talking to her/exploring what might happen between you to, is worth the possibility of going through your heartache again then GO FOR IT!! If you truly want to move on then go NC. Your choice, sit down and really think about it, hope it works out for you buddy!! 1
Author DavidG Posted October 5, 2012 Author Posted October 5, 2012 Thanks everyone. I am honestly all ears. I feel that the advice gained through LS will benefit me more than listening to my heart. Your right, Im probably just an emotional crutch right now and whether or not reconciliation is even possible, I think its better to let time go by. I know deep down if I go for it now, Ill be in the same boat. Im not 100% sure but its not something that I am NOT willing to risk. She keeps ****ing texting me as I type this. Back to NC. I do want her back because as I stated in the original posts I did push her away. Either way I guess NC is the only option. Damn I wish I didnt break it. I just need 1 damn night of sleep! Thanks everyone
NoMoreJerks Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Thanks everyone. I am honestly all ears. I feel that the advice gained through LS will benefit me more than listening to my heart. Your right, Im probably just an emotional crutch right now and whether or not reconciliation is even possible, I think its better to let time go by. I know deep down if I go for it now, Ill be in the same boat. Im not 100% sure but its not something that I am NOT willing to risk. She keeps ****ing texting me as I type this. Back to NC. I do want her back because as I stated in the original posts I did push her away. Either way I guess NC is the only option. Damn I wish I didnt break it. I just need 1 damn night of sleep! Thanks everyone I wouldn't look at the mssges. If you are still not over her, don't delete the mssg, but don't look at it either, I guess. Resist the temptation to look at it for a few months (or a month at a minimum) and then see what your perspective on those mssges will be after that. You will probably realize that htey were no more than breadcrumbs. If she wanted to talk to you, she could call you. I have stopped taking text mssges seriously. Even phone calls are probably not serious, but they are at least better than texts.
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Thanks everyone. I am honestly all ears. I feel that the advice gained through LS will benefit me more than listening to my heart. Your right, Im probably just an emotional crutch right now and whether or not reconciliation is even possible, I think its better to let time go by. I know deep down if I go for it now, Ill be in the same boat. Im not 100% sure but its not something that I am NOT willing to risk. She keeps ****ing texting me as I type this. Back to NC. I do want her back because as I stated in the original posts I did push her away. Either way I guess NC is the only option. Damn I wish I didnt break it. I just need 1 damn night of sleep! Thanks everyone You are a MUCH stronger man than me!!! I would've caved in and 2 weeks later you would've been reading my thread about "I broke NC, dying inside" (we've all seen it). I truly envy you David.
Mike_d Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 what happened to the ~$5 app that did blocking for you, the one you installed a few weeks ago? stop sabotaging yourself and leaving the text open so she could text like she did, this one is on you, you had it all lined up to have this exact situation NOT happen. you're not 100% sure what is going to happen??!? seriously? you need to log some time with your own threads.
Author DavidG Posted October 5, 2012 Author Posted October 5, 2012 Thanks bro but I didnt say anything about buying an app
Mike_d Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 you're right, my bad. got my davids mixed up. apologies
geegirl Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 (edited) Everytime you break NC you get nothing. Everytime she breaks NC she gives you nothing. Either ways, you end up hurt. Unless you're a glutton for punishment then keep breaking NC. You're hoping everytime NC is broken there's going to be a change. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Until you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, no one can help you. Edited October 5, 2012 by geegirl
JayL Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 I'll give you this advice as a man to another man. Balls to another balls... and I don't mean that in a homosexual way. If I remember it right, this girl left you for another man, did she not? Yet, you are willing to be her doormat and she is succeeding, as she seems to be wiping her shoes on your face very well everytime you cave. The question is, why? Do you not have any self-worth and self-respect left in you? I've been hurt too, one of my ex-girlfriends cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend. I broke up with her, a month later she came back running when she realized that I treated her better, but I'll tell you what... I made the mistake of taking her back just for her to cheat again. Once she knows you're on the hook, she will lose respect for you. I learned the hard way. "Why would you want to be that patch on a hole?" Is that all you think you are? Is that how much value you put on yourself? Drop this girl and move on. You deserve someone better... way better! We've all got screwed over at some point... I recently just got screwed over by a female player whom played her game very well and I swear I did not see it coming and actually made me fall for her in a very short period of time. After getting feedbacks from LS people, they're right... WE DESERVE BETTER.
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