Good guy1 Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 I have been with my girl for four months she is 39 and I'm 48. We really liked each other. Her family loved me we had a great time together,, at one point she told me she loved me. I was planning a future with her in my mind. We saw each other about two or three times a week.. After 3 months she became more distant in her responses to my " I miss you" and " i love you" she told me once " I know what you need but I can't give it to you right now" she broke off with me. Saying she needs space between us.. said she loved me and it wasn't a fling but that was it. I sent flowers a week after that and no response. A week later a smiley face in txt no response .one month later it was her birthday I sent a simple txt happy birthday. She responded 16 hours later " thank you so much" What to do .??? I think she wants ready for a commitment afraid of one..,.? Se had a previous relationship 3 years earlier and. Believe she was committed to it but he was married and kids . Promised to leave everything and didn't she was devastated..
Survivor12 Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Of course, I have no way of knowing for sure but my guess is that the "end" of the affair was only temporary.
NoMoreJerks Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 I have been with my girl for four months she is 39 and I'm 48. We really liked each other. Her family loved me we had a great time together,, at one point she told me she loved me. I was planning a future with her in my mind. We saw each other about two or three times a week.. After 3 months she became more distant in her responses to my " I miss you" and " i love you" she told me once " I know what you need but I can't give it to you right now" she broke off with me. Saying she needs space between us.. said she loved me and it wasn't a fling but that was it. I sent flowers a week after that and no response. A week later a smiley face in txt no response .one month later it was her birthday I sent a simple txt happy birthday. She responded 16 hours later " thank you so much" What to do .??? I think she wants ready for a commitment afraid of one..,.? Se had a previous relationship 3 years earlier and. Believe she was committed to it but he was married and kids . Promised to leave everything and didn't she was devastated.. Reminds me of my ex. He finally (after 4 months) admitted (today!) that he "loves me as a really good friend", but nothing more, and that he considered what we had as a FWB arrangement. In hindsight, that is what it REALLY WAS. I was too blind to see all the red flags. Him not wanting to call me, feeling pressured to call me, etc. He didn't want the pressure -- he told me that. He also said he was too selfish to love me the way I wanted -- he wants to spend his savings on holidays and treating himself, and doesn't want anyone holding him back in any way whatsoever from the things (some of which perverted) he would like to do (threesome, etc.). My ex also claimed he couldn't commit, in no small part because of his alleged break-ups of LTR in the past (2 years ago). Allegedly, his ex'es (especially his last ex) were bitches, and very controlling. Also, he used the "once bitten twice shy" excuse today. Frankly, none of this makes any sense whatsoever, in my head. I hesitate to believe that his ex'es were so evil. He was just a lazy ass and a perv, and they probably dumped his ass for that reason. He was probably like this before they dumped him, rather than becoming what he is because they dumped him. I don't know if that's the case for your ex, but it may be. Don't stoop so low and go after her like this. Do NC, and get over her. If she wants to give it a try, she will reach out, but even then, I would hesitate to break NC (doing so left a bitter taste in my mouth).
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