guydownsouth Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 (edited) Dumped 4 weeks ago. Broke NC 2 weeks after the break-up with a friendly text, and my ex gave a friendly, receptive response. Texted her again the next night (midnight booty call text asking "what she was up to") and again a week later and didn't receive a response either time. I then decided to block her and her friends from my Facebook because I was having trouble getting over her and assumed from her not replying to my 2 texts that she wasn't interested and I had to move on. We have a class together and I constantly see her at school, and she's been ignoring me. I haven't actually seen her give me eye contact, but I'm sure she knows I'm there half the time and chooses not to look my way. It's really awkward, and I hate it. I did see her looking my way ONCE, and I turned away and gave HER the cold shoulder because I wasn't sure how to act, especially after she had ignored my last two texts. I'm not sure how that made her feel. What should I do to deal with this awkward tension? Seeing her everyday makes it really hard to stop thinking about her, and her ignoring me bothers me a little. Edited October 4, 2012 by guydownsouth
Simon Phoenix Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Don't react to it for one. Act like it's completely expected. Just mirror her behavior. If she says nothing, say nothing. If she says hi, say hi or nod. If she engages in small talk, respond briefly but politely. The less you react to it, the less she'll do it.
Author guydownsouth Posted October 4, 2012 Author Posted October 4, 2012 Don't react to it for one. Act like it's completely expected. Just mirror her behavior. If she says nothing, say nothing. If she says hi, say hi or nod. If she engages in small talk, respond briefly but politely. The less you react to it, the less she'll do it. She doesn't see my reaction because she doesn't acknowledge my presence. She doesn't look my way even though she knows I'm there. Very awkward and uncomfortable.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 She doesn't see my reaction because she doesn't acknowledge my presence. She doesn't look my way even though she knows I'm there. Very awkward and uncomfortable. Trust me, she's very aware of your reaction. Just because she's not looking at you when you are looking at her doesn't mean she's not looking at you at all.
Author guydownsouth Posted October 4, 2012 Author Posted October 4, 2012 (edited) Trust me, she's very aware of your reaction. Just because she's not looking at you when you are looking at her doesn't mean she's not looking at you at all. So you're saying she sees me looking at her, or she looks at me when I'm not looking at her? Anyhow I don't think I normally have much of a reaction. I try to keep a straight face when around her. Edited October 4, 2012 by guydownsouth
todreaminblue Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 She doesn't see my reaction because she doesn't acknowledge my presence. She doesn't look my way even though she knows I'm there. Very awkward and uncomfortable. She might not acknowledge your presence i am sure that she can feel your presence......DO NOT mirror awkwardness.....makes the situation well.....more awkward for both....maybe the booty call text got to her....made her awkward...... she sees your reactions....trust me you probably arent looking at her when she is looking at you....vice vera....awkwardness creates this scenario.......talk to her get some closure either way so you can move on......or resign yourself to moving on without closure.......i wish you the best......deb
Author guydownsouth Posted October 4, 2012 Author Posted October 4, 2012 she sees your reactions....trust me you probably arent looking at her when she is looking at you....vice vera....awkwardness creates this scenario.......talk to her get some closure either way so you can move on......or resign yourself to moving on without closure.......i wish you the best......deb How exactly should I reach out to her and what would I say? Is it appropriate? She has ignored my last two texts and I don't want to appear desperate. All the advice I've received is to go NC until the dumper reaches out to you, which I've tried to follow but it's been difficult.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 So you're saying she sees me looking at her, or she looks at me when I'm not looking at her? Anyhow I don't think I normally have much of a reaction. I try to keep a straight face when around her. Both probably, but more of the latter. Trust me, she knows and she's likely just as uncomfortable with you. And I wouldn't initiate any conversation with her unless she does the same with you. I'm guessing you aren't sitting by each other in class so this shouldn't be that hard. You are in class to learn, so learn. Put your energy in your schoolwork and less into what she's doing. Hard to do, but if you can find something else to focus on that will only help your cause.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 How exactly should I reach out to her and what would I say? Is it appropriate? She has ignored my last two texts and I don't want to appear desperate. All the advice I've received is to go NC until the dumper reaches out to you, which I've tried to follow but it's been difficult. Yeah, don't confront her, at least not any time in the next few weeks. Both of you need to decompress.
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 All the advice I've received is to go NC until the dumper reaches out to you, which I've tried to follow but it's been difficult. Yes it's hard but you found out the HARD way what happens when you attempt contact. I've posted this several times on other threads: -"In her mind she already knows you want her back, and she simply doesn't care. Take that as a sign" -Whatever you care about and want to say to her simply doesn't mean as much to her right now Disappear, go 100% NC! Otherwise you're setting yourself up for disappointment and more pain. Good luck. 1
todreaminblue Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 How exactly should I reach out to her and what would I say? Is it appropriate? She has ignored my last two texts and I don't want to appear desperate. All the advice I've received is to go NC until the dumper reaches out to you, which I've tried to follow but it's been difficult. break the barrier physical contact reach out literally....put your hand on her arm when you are talking to her....look her in the eyes when you speak to her dont break that contact....ask if she took offense with your text or if she received them ......if she moves away and puts distance between you....you have your answer without a word being spoken......walking away while someone is speaking is a dead give away........its a no go zone putting distance between yourself and another....if she does put distance between you and her and then comes back....you can continue.....lol...in saying all this i just realised something myself i should have realised....so thanks for posting gave myself some clarity.a person i was talking to didnt return and actually di dwalk away while i was speaking or struggling too...how is that for everything happens for a reason....smilin....best wishes with you and yours ....deb
Author guydownsouth Posted October 5, 2012 Author Posted October 5, 2012 Yeah, don't confront her, at least not any time in the next few weeks. Both of you need to decompress. Assuming a few more weeks have passed and I've decompressed, how do I reach out to her and what do I say?
kalaslsl Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Yes it's hard but you found out the HARD way what happens when you attempt contact. I've posted this several times on other threads: -"In her mind she already knows you want her back, and she simply doesn't care. Take that as a sign" -Whatever you care about and want to say to her simply doesn't mean as much to her right now Disappear, go 100% NC! Otherwise you're setting yourself up for disappointment and more pain. Good luck. Great reply right there.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Assuming a few more weeks have passed and I've decompressed, how do I reach out to her and what do I say? Let her reach out to you. She's the one who dumped you, the ball is in her court.
Author guydownsouth Posted October 6, 2012 Author Posted October 6, 2012 Let her reach out to you. She's the one who dumped you, the ball is in her court. But I blocked her from Facebook and have ignored her in school like she has to me, so she either probably thinks I am mad at her or she is mad at me. I agree that I should probably let her come to me though.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 But I blocked her from Facebook and have ignored her in school like she has to me, so she either probably thinks I am mad at her or she is mad at me. I agree that I should probably let her come to me though. Don't worry or try to guess what people are thinking. You don't know. I think that's where most of us f--k up, basing our actions on what they possibly could be thinking. Don't do this. Worry about what you are thinking, not what she might be thinking.
Recommended Posts