Were You Disappointed By Reality?

October 5, 2012

Who the hell compares real naked women to porn or models?

People who think that there is something to compare .

October 5, 2012

The article is rediculous IMO. Walking down the street you can easily see what someones body type is and that people come in all shapes and sizes. Yes I was suprised when I lost my v. I was suprised that she looked better naked than I was expecting due to the way her clothes fit her and that her breasts were bigger than I thought! Is that what you wanted to hear?? There are plenty of all body types in IRL. There are bikini babes with great bods that turn heads everywhere they go. They turn heads because they have great bodies are beautiful women, not because they're in porn, they're in porn because they have the bodies that turn heads. What does this mean? Not a dam thing. I am disappointed by reality though becasue reality in my area is that the guy is skinner the majority of the time so I guess I have to go for BBW's.

October 5, 2012

What women are popular right now? All of the women that are "popular" right now are beautiful! Kim Kradashian, Sophia Vergara , etc etc...Women that have the aid and time to spend working out and getting botox and who knows what else they get to present the image of their "natural" beauty.

The question really is, who are you really comparing yourselves to? look around out there at our celebrities, not exactly eye-catchers.

Rihana (meh, no a perfect body to me nor looks wise), Lady GaGa (let's not even go there), Adele (not exactly ideal body type either), Katy Perry (annoying and unattractive to me), and Amy Winehouse before she killed herself looked like a train wreck...all pretty diverse women out there nowadays I'd say, not to mention Pink and what's her face...Gwen Steffani...who pretty much do what the hell they want.

What's in right now in general? Hipster, everyone wants to be a platinum blonde/redhead, "smokey eyes", trendy, and as always..."looking cute".

The general population as far as men isn't obsessing over some celebrity or porn star, IS that what you think men spend their time thinking about and comparing with?

Beautiful people have ALWAYS been popular, and honestly with make-up and fashion these days and plastic surgery, anything is possible!

A lot of the stuff that women deal with and hear about, honestly doesn't even get seen or understood by men because we don't even pay attention to it, it doesn't even graze us because we're not even paying attention...women start doing this or that and we're like oh...look at that, that's new! We didn't "create" that trend ourselves or impose that on anyone, you can't blame the normal guy for that, we don't call the shots or really care about any of that crap to be honest with you.

Ninja, do you think it is a positive re-enforcement to say things like, "It's like day dreaming about owning a Jet...."? I don't get these kind of examples that often get used when guys try to explain or help women understand and in the process hopefully make a woman feel better but then compare fantasy women to these larger than life wonderful things and average women to well..just being average women. Do you really think women see these examples as positives? "Hey Hunny, you aren't the awesome cool Jet I totally fantasize about wanting but you do okay because hey, you're here to wash my socks and stuff." How is comparing other women to Jets in all their larger than life amenities a good thing for the one actual woman by a guy's side that is basically getting compared to spam?

I understand your argument here and I do see your perspective on this. What I'm trying to point out is that without any emotional attachment men objectify a lot of the things they see and desire, It's just like you looking at some guys hot bod on a website...does that mean you want your guy to look like that or that now you care less about your guy? It doesn't even make any sense.

Comparing women to a jet is not a literal intention here, I'm just trying to portray that in a mans mind we're not actively basing our expectations and reality off of something that is apart of a fantasy.

The bottom line is you can't rely on men or a man to build up your own self-esteem and squash any media or society conditions that you say attribute to insecurity...we can't change the world, and often times even IF we tell you that you are beautiful...guess what! you don't believe it anyway....It's not us.

And it's not just that it lives in his mind for 15 seconds. Men repeatidly and continually use porn. To higher levels then they ever have before in history. Lets not downplay how much men are using porn and how often other women are taking up those "15 seconds". So many different women online for men to choose from and men, even with female parters, are choosing them. And then women are being casterated about how they are just insecure and that their feelings are worthless because guys like you write off how some women can feel or degrade how they feel because you think it's all about insecurity. Or you feel that their insecurity isn't somewhat warrented because that's what *you* decided. Well no offense but you guys have no clue how much pressure there is on wome nto look and be a certain way and when you see your guy looking at those things in other women and comparing these women to big rich expensive Jets and you basically to what might as well be spam, it doesn't solve a thing for us. It just makes us reinforce what we already believed.

To be fair we don't understand what's It's like to be a woman because we are men, but the same argument works hand in hand.

Men have plenty of obstacles to overcome in the dating world, the average woman gets far more dates and attention than the average man.

If the average woman was placed into a mans body of equal attractiveness she'd be slitting her wrist by the end of the night...you would feel like you suddenly did not exist.

Pose as an average guy on a dating website and watch your ego get pounced on as you adjust to what it's really like to feel rejection, and If you're lucky 10 percent reply rate.

Then pose as an average looking girl (fake pic of course) of equal attractiveness and you'll have 20 messages within 30 minutes.

And you know what women complain about? they aren't the men I'm looking for...boohoo poor thing.

And then guess what 3 months later?..

"OMGOD I found the most amazing guy one he's so this bs and that bs" I swear It happens every freakin time.

Think about this, where does the average guy go or what does he do when he needs a quick fix of external validation and to feel attractive?...they can't put on a face, a short skirt, show some cleavage then head out for a night on the town to just have some girls give them a quick fix of attention.

But I suppose for us men that's our fault too, because you have to compete with younger or more attractive women than yourself. We make women dress the way they do, we make women do everything, they have no control or ability to anything different, we created MAC makeup and the Fashion runway, that's what US men care about, right guys!

I am getting tired of hearing guys compare porn and women in porn to Jets and justifying how men interact with these larger then life examples of feminiity but demand women remain unaffected by them and if they don't, that we are simply just "insecure". That's not fair Ninja. That's not fair to write off some women's perspective because they live everyday with seeing how guys deal with porn and celeb culture and all the hot women around that men do infact titilate themselves whether they are in relationships or not. We don't live in a time when porn was a Playboy in the mail once a month. So any insecurities and fears a woman might have are well jsutified by seeing how men today engage with porn and have let it dominate their lives in ways that their fathers didn't let it dominate theirs.

Fair enough...and we're getting tired of being compared to the three guys you're currently talking to and sizing up.

Well Billy is sweet, just a little shy...he doesn't take the initiative, but he's good looking and we have an OK time talking and hanging out....see where it goes.

Brad is sexy and has a hot bod but he's kind of dumb and I get bored easily, he just talks about the most retarded uninteresting things all the time.... but we'll see where it goes.

And Bobby is the perfect guy on paper and he's just really into me and I'm just not really feeling it with him, but he's a nice guy...but I'll keep talking to him and seeing where it goes.

And Sam...he's just a "friend", my confidant teehee...but I do get the feeling he kinda is interested in me, but I'm not interested in him so that makes it ok, he's just a great friend to talk about my dating woes and heartbreak too.

Stop blaming every damn situation on men, for every situation you come up with I can think of at least 3 to come right back at you with.

Women want to be a strong, independent, Beyonce type one day...then they want to be the the hole in my heart is the size of the sun Adele, poor me for not meeting the right guy or him not sticking around...I mean for bob sakes, take some actual responsibility and accountability for your own life, the men you choose, and the decisions you make...because that's what's getting you into trouble...stop blaming everything on society...this isn't the middle east where we force you to wear burkas and stone women for having thoughts...there's women like Oprah and Elen Degeneres who basically show women that this doesn't have to just be a mans world.

People in general let too much external crap affect them instead of just going with what they believe in and desire and figuring out how to achieve that, instead they take their own legs out from underneath them already saying why they can't do this or that, or feel this way or that...own your life and your issues, the world isn't going to mold around you as an individual.

What's the difference? Either way both men are still looking at porn. One stashing it on his computer and one not are still looking at porn. The one stashing it and the one not stashing it aren't that much different.

The difference is It's ok for women to look at porn, just not men. We're stereotyped as perverts or child molesters if the women are too young, or If you're white and we are watching asians, or whatever it is. Women always find an excuse to personalize eeeveerrrything a man can possibly do...always reading between the line and comparing themselves directly to every thought, and emotion that man has.

A woman watches porn it's ok...of course the porn could be a little bit better because this porn is clearly made for men and look at these women, they are like unrealistic where do they find these freaks of nature...but other than that no one cares and it's ok, men don't judge us for what we want and we wouldn't want to be...we'll watch a girl do anal but it doesn't mean we like it or have it do it, but If a guy watches an latina and I'm white, then it's totally personal and he should only watch porn with women that look something like me.

Edited October 5, 2012 by Ninjainpajamas

October 5, 2012

What women are popular right now? All of the women that are "popular" right now are beautiful! Kim Kradashian, Sophia Vergara , etc etc...Women that have the aid and time to spend working out and getting botox and who knows what else they get to present the image of their "natural" beauty.

The question really is, who are you really comparing yourselves to? look around out there at our celebrities, not exactly eye-catchers.

Rihana (meh, no a perfect body to me nor looks wise), Lady GaGa (let's not even go there), Adele (not exactly ideal body type either), Katy Perry (annoying and unattractive to me), and Amy Winehouse before she killed herself looked like a train wreck...all pretty diverse women out there nowadays I'd say, not to mention Pink and what's her face...Gwen Steffani...who pretty much do what the hell they want.

What's in right now in general? Hipster, everyone wants to be a platinum blonde/redhead, "smokey eyes", trendy, and as always..."looking cute".

The general population as far as men isn't obsessing over some celebrity or porn star, IS that what you think men spend their time thinking about and comparing with?

Beautiful people have ALWAYS been popular, and honestly with make-up and fashion these days and plastic surgery, anything is possible!

A lot of the stuff that women deal with and hear about, honestly doesn't even get seen or understood by men because we don't even pay attention to it, it doesn't even graze us because we're not even paying attention...women start doing this or that and we're like oh...look at that, that's new! We didn't "create" that trend ourselves or impose that on anyone, you can't blame the normal guy for that, we don't call the shots or really care about any of that crap to be honest with you.

Ninja, do you think it is a positive re-enforcement to say things like, "It's like day dreaming about owning a Jet...."? I don't get these kind of examples that often get used when guys try to explain or help women understand and in the process hopefully make a woman feel better but then compare fantasy women to these larger than life wonderful things and average women to well..just being average women. Do you really think women see these examples as positives? "Hey Hunny, you aren't the awesome cool Jet I totally fantasize about wanting but you do okay because hey, you're here to wash my socks and stuff." How is comparing other women to Jets in all their larger than life amenities a good thing for the one actual woman by a guy's side that is basically getting compared to spam?

I understand your argument here and I do see your perspective on this. What I'm trying to point out is that without any emotional attachment men objectify a lot of the things they see and desire, It's just like you looking at some guys hot bod on a website...does that mean you want your guy to look like that or that now you care less about your guy? It doesn't even make any sense.

Comparing women to a jet is not a literal intention here, I'm just trying to portray that in a mans mind we're not actively basing our expectations and reality off of something that is apart of a fantasy.

The bottom line is you can't rely on men or a man to build up your own self-esteem and squash any media or society conditions that you say attribute to insecurity...we can't change the world, and often times even IF we tell you that you are beautiful...guess what! you don't believe it anyway....It's not us.

And it's not just that it lives in his mind for 15 seconds. Men repeatidly and continually use porn. To higher levels then they ever have before in history. Lets not downplay how much men are using porn and how often other women are taking up those "15 seconds". So many different women online for men to choose from and men, even with female parters, are choosing them. And then women are being casterated about how they are just insecure and that their feelings are worthless because guys like you write off how some women can feel or degrade how they feel because you think it's all about insecurity. Or you feel that their insecurity isn't somewhat warrented because that's what *you* decided. Well no offense but you guys have no clue how much pressure there is on wome nto look and be a certain way and when you see your guy looking at those things in other women and comparing these women to big rich expensive Jets and you basically to what might as well be spam, it doesn't solve a thing for us. It just makes us reinforce what we already believed.

To be fair we don't understand what's It's like to be a woman because we are men, but the same argument works hand in hand.

Men have plenty of obstacles to overcome in the dating world, the average woman gets far more dates and attention than the average man.

If the average woman was placed into a mans body of equal attractiveness she'd be slitting her wrist by the end of the night...you would feel like you suddenly did not exist.

Pose as an average guy on a dating website and watch your ego get pounced on as you adjust to what it's really like to feel rejection, and If you're lucky 10 percent reply rate.

Then pose as an average looking girl (fake pic of course) of equal attractiveness and you'll have 20 messages within 30 minutes.

And you know what women complain about? they aren't the men I'm looking for...boohoo poor thing.

And then guess what 3 months later?..

"OMGOD I found the most amazing guy one he's so this bs and that bs" I swear It happens every freakin time.

Think about this, where does the average guy go or what does he do when he needs a quick fix of external validation and to feel attractive?...they can't put on a face, a short skirt, show some cleavage then head out for a night on the town to just have some girls give them a quick fix of attention.

But I suppose for us men that's our fault too, because you have to compete with younger or more attractive women than yourself. We make women dress the way they do, we make women do everything, they have no control or ability to anything different, we created MAC makeup and the Fashion runway, that's what US men care about, right guys!

I am getting tired of hearing guys compare porn and women in porn to Jets and justifying how men interact with these larger then life examples of feminiity but demand women remain unaffected by them and if they don't, that we are simply just "insecure". That's not fair Ninja. That's not fair to write off some women's perspective because they live everyday with seeing how guys deal with porn and celeb culture and all the hot women around that men do infact titilate themselves whether they are in relationships or not. We don't live in a time when porn was a Playboy in the mail once a month. So any insecurities and fears a woman might have are well jsutified by seeing how men today engage with porn and have let it dominate their lives in ways that their fathers didn't let it dominate theirs.

Fair enough...and we're getting tired of being compared to the three guys you're currently talking to and sizing up.

Well Billy is sweet, just a little shy...he doesn't take the initiative, but he's good looking and we have an OK time talking and hanging out....see where it goes.

Brad is sexy and has a hot bod but he's kind of dumb and I get bored easily, he just talks about the most retarded uninteresting things all the time.... but we'll see where it goes.

And Bobby is the perfect guy on paper and he's just really into me and I'm just not really feeling it with him, but he's a nice guy...but I'll keep talking to him and seeing where it goes.

And Sam...he's just a "friend", my confidant teehee...but I do get the feeling he kinda is interested in me, but I'm not interested in him so that makes it ok, he's just a great friend to talk about my dating woes and heartbreak too.

Stop blaming every damn situation on men, for every situation you come up with I can think of at least 3 to come right back at you with.

Women want to be a strong, independent, Beyonce type one day...then they want to be the the hole in my heart is the size of the sun Adele, poor me for not meeting the right guy or him not sticking around...I mean for bob sakes, take some actual responsibility and accountability for your own life, the men you choose, and the decisions you make...because that's what's getting you into trouble...stop blaming everything on society...this isn't the middle east where we force you to wear burkas and stone women for having thoughts...there's women like Oprah and Elen Degeneres who basically show women that this doesn't have to just be a mans world.

People in general let too much external crap affect them instead of just going with what they believe in and desire and figuring out how to achieve that, instead they take their own legs out from underneath them already saying why they can't do this or that, or feel this way or that...own your life and your issues, the world isn't going to mold around you as an individual.

What's the difference? Either way both men are still looking at porn. One stashing it on his computer and one not are still looking at porn. The one stashing it and the one not stashing it aren't that much different.

The difference is It's ok for women to look at porn, just not men. We're stereotyped as perverts or child molesters if the women are too young, or If you're white and we are watching asians, or whatever it is. Women always find an excuse to personalize eeeveerrrything a man can possibly do...always reading between the line and comparing themselves directly to every thought, and emotion that man has.

A woman watches porn it's ok...of course the porn could be a little bit better because this porn is clearly made for men and look at these women, they are like unrealistic where do they find these freaks of nature...but other than that no one cares and it's ok, men don't judge us for what we want and we wouldn't want to be...we'll watch a girl do anal but it doesn't mean we like it or have it do it, but If a guy watches an latina and I'm white, then it's totally personal and he should only watch porn with women that look something like me.

So true look at how many guys here cant get a women to even go on a first date with them how many women are on here like that? not many

Even the women who claim they are ugly an dont get much male attention have been in relationships,some just sabotage them before it ends but the average plain women gets many more chances then the average guy here who cant even sniff fa date..thats the difference

October 5, 2012

I am allowed to have opinions, right? I am allowed to state them, forcefully, even.

Right, so how about bailing on telling people who state THEIR opinions to "stay out of your threads" if they don't jibe with yours.

Let me get this straight: you think it's perfectly fine for men to objectify women.

No, and I did not say I did, either. In fact, I said I did NOT. I think that YOU are exactly the same as any guy who objectifies women, but on the opposite side of the same mindset.

And when I spoke out about it, you threw down my opinion, and said it was totally okay for men to objectify women.

No, I didn't.

But hey. We're all used to you lying to try to make your points unassailable.

I have 2 main points about this.

1) A person who gets all bent out of shape because random guys say stuff like "I like big butts and I cannot lie" and then turns around and says stuff like "guys are shallow" is operating from a position of a horrible double standard. Exactly like the most disgusting misogynistic men who pollute this board.

2) The world is full of *******s. I think it's pathetic that you have chosen to seek out their opinions and to actively strive to allow them to define you. You're the total bitch of the worst of men.

Can I ever satisfy you? More importantly, why do you come after me with such vitriol? No one is making you read this thread; no one is forcing you to engage with me. I did not even make this thread about myself, and yet somehow, yet again, it's turned into "Let's all psychoanalyze and bash V!"

How is that for twisting?

YOU are the one doing the majority of the bashing. If you don't like the results of your baiting, then stop doing it.

The twisting? Pathetic and predictable.

October 5, 2012

A person who fantasizes about, looks at or appreciates an image of a beautiful person of the opposite sex is not necessarily comparing their loved one to that image.

October 5, 2012

Right, so how about bailing on telling people who state THEIR opinions to "stay out of your threads" if they don't jibe with yours.

You missed the point yet again. I don't care if people disagree with me; what I get sick of is people coming into my threads and complaining that I've made "yet another" thread, and making it personal. My first few posts were entirely about asking opinions on the article, please read the article, etc. And yet barely into the thread, it's yet another "make this personal."

I am sick of people coming into my threads, not with dissenting opinions, but with a personal vendetta. Like, oh, say, you. You've said absolutely nothing about the article, but gone on and on about how I'm "bashing" men.

Except you didn't answer my earlier question about HOW I am bashing men. How is calling them shallow, or admitting that they objectify women, bashing, when that's what men say about themselves??

But hey. We're all used to you lying to try to make your points unassailable.

I have 2 main points about this.

1) A person who gets all bent out of shape because random guys say stuff like "I like big butts and I cannot lie" and then turns around and says stuff like "guys are shallow" is operating from a position of a horrible double standard. Exactly like the most disgusting misogynistic men who pollute this board.

2) The world is full of *******s. I think it's pathetic that you have chosen to seek out their opinions and to actively strive to allow them to define you. You're the total bitch of the worst of men.

YOU are the one doing the majority of the bashing. If you don't like the results of your baiting, then stop doing it.

So I'm a bitch and a liar, but I'M the one doing the bashing?? Again, where is all your vitriol for these supposed worst of men? I have yet to see you come down this hard on ANY of the male posters, even Woggle when he is in his most females-are-the-worst moods. I call men shallow, and suddenly I'm a bitch and a liar?? Where the f*ck do you get off throwing all of your bull**** hatred on me? When the f*ck have I ever said ANYTHING like that to you or about you? Where the hell do you think you have the right to attack me in such a personal and offensive way? Get the f*ck off your high horse, lady.

THIS is what I don't understand; if posters like you find me pathetic, then they have the option of leaving me the f*ck alone, instead of coming into a thread and personally attacking me.

October 5, 2012

You missed the point yet again. I don't care if people disagree with me; what I get sick of is people coming into my threads and complaining that I've made "yet another" thread, and making it personal. My first few posts were entirely about asking opinions on the article, please read the article, etc. And yet barely into the thread, it's yet another "make this personal."

Sorry. I haven't missed the point.

You posting an article like that and then (:lmao:) inviting a "discussion" about it is exactly the same as when those other *******s like doc gobbles post the crap from the PUA/MRA sites - you know, articles that "prove" that all women are "hypergamous," or "entitled princesses," or that feminism has ruined the world and/ or was hatched by a pod of evil underground Marxists to overturn the world economy, or whatever. I dislike it when you do it exactly as much as I do when they do it. Maybe more, because maybe I am just a little bit sexist myself and expect more from women, especially smart, articulate ones. It's an ignoble thing to do.

This kind of crap always gets a rise out of me whether it's you, Woggle or doc gobbles who does it, so don't take my ire too personally. Your psychic twin bros get the same reaction.

October 5, 2012

I'm 22 and fit into that demographic. To answer your question, no I wasn't disappointed. Even as a 12 year old I never took porn seriously. I knew it was about as realistic as the Terminator movies. What I did like was that it showed naked ladies and boobies. That's the main reason any boy watches this stuff. It doesn't matter what they look like really, as long as you get to see them. Really overweight women are an exception. I never found that attractive.

I recall many times in school fantasising about what a lot of the girls looked like underneath their clothes, and I'll admit I am guilty of trying to peek into the girls locker room when walking past and someone opens the door to go in. I never once thiught to conpare the girls i knew to Playboy models. When I got naked for the first time to have sex my thoughts weren't "oh man this better live up to what I saw in porn" instead they were "oh my god there's a naked chick with me and we're gonna do it!!!! Zomg!"

Yes I do have standards. And from my observations there's plenty of pretty girls around who wouldn't look out of place in a porno. I think the 1 in 5000 is way off. I see attractive, slim girls all the time. I guess part of that is being surrounded by a college environment. I don't look like Arnie, and I don't expect the girls I date to look like Jenna Jameson, but I do expect a level of fitness and health. If that reduces my dating pool, then I'll gladly accept that.

October 5, 2012

I don't know where this "Fatmerica" stigma came from where the average dress size is 14 or whatever. Sure that's the "average" when you factor in ALL the sizes and we know the bigger ones will brings said average up. So it's not a realistic average. going by this if you pick a random women walking down the street her dress size will probabaly be a 14, NOT TRUE. I bet money its at least a few size smaller. I go to a D1 school and let me tell you there are more thin, atheltic, nice but a little thick, than there are heavy set girls. Grab ten random chicks at my school and there's a good chance that 6-7 of them would look good naked. When there are more fat men/women around then thin/average I'll buy into this fatmerica crap.

October 5, 2012

I was never disappointed in a girl who didn't look like a porn star. I have been disappointed in girls who look better dressed than undressed. I would never tell them that though. Those are private thoughts.

I agree with the premise of the thread that theoretically it is possible to form a distorted image of what women are supposed to look and act like in bed based on what you see on the Internet. A good example is the fact that oral sex has become expected and obligatory. Someday maybe anal sex will be too. Values tend to shift over time and media seems to have an influence. It's easy to think so anyway.

On the other hand, people are still people. They are human and they can be turned on by humans. They are capable of compromise. And contrary to popular belief capable of actual love and affection. So it is wise to give them credit because sometimes they surprise you.

I don't have to go far down the street to see a guy with a girl who I don't find very attractive and who would have no success at all as a porn star. And women who are stereotypically attractive are often more trouble than they are worth. As you mature that becomes a very unattractive trait. Values and character start to carry more weight than they did before when deciding who is hot or not.

October 5, 2012

I'd be very interested to hear from younger guys (ones with access to decent Internet in their early years) how disappointed (if at all) you were when you realized real, actual women didn't look like the naked women on the Internet.

I may be in the wrong age demographic - I remember the Internet before the World Wide Web (although there were still naked women on there).

However, two things come to mind.

Sometimes I've been relieved, rather than disappointed, that a real, actual woman didn't look like the naked women on the Internet
If you think that any particular real, actual woman doesn't have a body for porn then you simply haven't watched enough porn.

(plus I agree with the comments elsewhere about those naked women on the internet also being real, actual women)

October 5, 2012

Stop blaming every damn situation on men, for every situation you come up with I can think of at least 3 to come right back at you with.

Women want to be a strong, independent, Beyonce type one day...then they want to be the the hole in my heart is the size of the sun Adele, poor me for not meeting the right guy or him not sticking around...I mean for bob sakes, take some actual responsibility and accountability for your own life, the men you choose, and the decisions you make...because that's what's getting you into trouble...stop blaming everything on society...this isn't the middle east where we force you to wear burkas and stone women for having thoughts...there's women like Oprah and Elen Degeneres who basically show women that this doesn't have to just be a mans world.

People in general let too much external crap affect them instead of just going with what they believe in and desire and figuring out how to achieve that, instead they take their own legs out from underneath them already saying why they can't do this or that, or feel this way or that...own your life and your issues, the world isn't going to mold around you as an individual.

Sometimes I've been relieved, rather than disappointed, that a real, actual woman didn't look like the naked women on the Internet
If you think that any particular real, actual woman doesn't have a body for porn then you simply haven't watched enough porn.
(plus I agree with the comments elsewhere about those naked women on the internet also being real, actual women)

I was never disappointed in a girl who didn't look like a porn star. I have been disappointed in girls who look better dressed than undressed. I would never tell them that though. Those are private thoughts.

I agree with the premise of the thread that theoretically it is possible to form a distorted image of what women are supposed to look and act like in bed based on what you see on the Internet. A good example is the fact that oral sex has become expected and obligatory. Someday maybe anal sex will be too. Values tend to shift over time and media seems to have an influence. It's easy to think so anyway.

On the other hand, people are still people. They are human and they can be turned on by humans. They are capable of compromise. And contrary to popular belief capable of actual love and affection. So it is wise to give them credit because sometimes they surprise you.

I don't have to go far down the street to see a guy with a girl who I don't find very attractive and who would have no success at all as a porn star. And women who are stereotypically attractive are often more trouble than they are worth. As you mature that becomes a very unattractive trait. Values and character start to carry more weight than they did before when deciding who is hot or not.

I'm not really sure what else can be added - IF the OP is really looking for an answer rather than just perpetual arguments.

October 5, 2012

The idea is that most women do not look like "fantasy" women. Most women have fatty pockets, they don't have perfect skin, they have small saggy breasts or a flat butt or cellulite, etc.

"Fantasy" girls are real, but also rare. So, are guys disappointed in their first encounter with a real woman in which she appears as less than perfect? (If she was perfect all ready then that is besides the point.)

Ok, that's a good way to state the question.

I haven't been disappointed, partly because I've used by eyes (and hands!) to get some good clues about a woman's body shape before deciding whether to want to get as far as seeing her naked. And, no, that doesn't mean that I simply reject anyone who isn't skinny/athletic (although, yes, sometimes I do that).

But, in my day-dreaming fantasy brain (the same place in which I just won the lottery for the second time and retired to somewhere warm and sunny with a pool and a view) it would be great if all the women I see had great bodies, pretty faces, and wore high heels. But I know it's a fantasy, and I'm not disappointed at my inability to buy a new $1M yacht every day any more than I'm disappointed in the shape of 'real' women. (although, I do wish more people, of both sexes, would adopt a healthy lifestyle and shed some weight... but that's also a fantasy.)

October 5, 2012

Oh yeah … aren't you guys cautioned against speaking about your reactions to women's bodies? By the very poster who now wants you to talk about your reactions to women's bodies?

Not merely cautioned, but called an "objectifying a**hole" (and other things).

October 5, 2012

Who the hell compares real naked women to porn or models?

Woman I'm dating at the moment has a body better than many of the ones I've seen in porn and I don't know why she isn't a model, and I'm very much looking forward to spending more time with her.

There. I do. Just for you.

October 5, 2012

I agree with the premise of the thread that theoretically it is possible to form a distorted image of what women are supposed to look and act like in bed based on what you see on the Internet.

(If that was the premise of the thread) I agree with you. I'd say it's also true of wider media including media forms that pre-date the Internet by decades (magazines, films etc)... For example, I've discovered that not all women have bodies like Bond girls (and that's a franchise that's been going for 50 years). I was very disappointed when I wore a tux for the first time and didn't get hot girls throwing themselves at me.

A good example is the fact that oral sex has become expected and obligatory.

Perhaps. I think 'the media' has also made oral sex acceptable and has even had a role in educating people that other people enjoy it (both sexes). So it's not all bad.

October 5, 2012

I'm not really sure what else can be added - IF the OP is really looking for an answer rather than just perpetual arguments.

Is this a five minute argument or the full half hour?

October 5, 2012

Is this a five minute argument or the full half hour?

M: I want to complain.

C: You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

M: No, I want to complain about...

C: If you complain nothing happens, you might as well not bother.

M: Oh!

C: Oh my back hurts, it's not a very fine day and I'm sick and tired of this office.

October 5, 2012

Yes, I think that article is spot on. That's why I am VERY hesitant to get involved with inexperienced men.

They DO have certain expectations that can largely be unrealistic. They do think that most women are flawlessly skinned, tight bodied and perform oral sex 3 times a day.

My ex, who has only slept with one woman before me has actually told me that much. He cringed at even a faint stretch mark and inspected my body in minute detail. He even made a direct comparison to me and some woman in porn that in his opinion has a better body

They are also not used to the non-made-up, just woken up look. I guess they expect perma-mini-skirt-hills-make up.

October 5, 2012

Yes, I think that article is spot on. That's why I am VERY hesitant to get involved with inexperienced men.

They DO have certain expectations that can largely be unrealistic. They do think that most women are flawlessly skinned, tight bodied and perform oral sex 3 times a day.

My ex, who has only slept with one woman before me has actually told me that much. He cringed at even a faint stretch mark and inspected my body in minute detail. He even made a direct comparison to me and some woman in porn that in his opinion has a better body

My take on that is different. My last ex was very similar in experience to yours I think but it was more about his relating to women than the lack of experience. He was just plain weird in bed.

I dated much younger guys who weren't that experienced but who had a healthy attitude to the naked body and no hang-ups. It's the reason for the inexperience that matters, not the actual lack of experience I think.

October 5, 2012

Last time I checked the women in porn are real. Just because some women don't look like them - don't make them fake.

Their bodies mostly aren't, to be honest. The majority of porn stars go through surgical enhancements, so parts of their bodies aren't technically.. well.. real. Unless you consider silicone breasts to be real breasts.

To answer the OP's question, I think it depends on the sort of inexperienced man we're talking about. Some men are inexperienced by 'choice', because they actually have a different focus in life from the average horny adolescent boy - they pursued their studies or career, or realized early on that they didn't need a partner to be happy and chose to spend that time working on themselves, or they just didn't meet a compatible woman, etc. Those men aren't watching porn 2847289724 times a week, and are largely grounded in reality.

On the other hand, the really desperate inexperienced men.. yeah, I think they'd fit the mold of the article alright.

October 5, 2012

Who the hell compares real naked women to porn or models?

Lol people are acting like women are getting turned down for porn. Guys often resort to porn when they can't get real live women.

October 5, 2012

I've been lucky to not get involved with men who watch porn on a regular basis, if ever (my ex had zero interest in it), but I've found that something happens to the male brain when a woman is naked and they are about to have sex her. Suddenly, the woman looks perfect. Men, in my experience, judge our bodies much less harshly than we do.

October 5, 2012

I've been lucky to not get involved with men who watch porn on a regular basis, if ever (my ex had zero interest in it), but I've found that something happens to the male brain when a woman is naked and they are about to have sex her. Suddenly, the woman looks perfect. Men, in my experience, judge our bodies much less harshly than we do.

Exactly right.

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