PHX0215 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Excuse my rambling I'm just so mad! So MM accidentally sent two txt to his W that were for me. Now neither we're anything huge (just saying Hi and telling me he is out with family shopping) but in any W eyes they would be questioning it I'm sure. So MM tells me she believed that it was an autocorrect error. I thought BS she did. He reassured me everything is fine on Sat/Sun. Well 4 days later, "it's we need to slow things down. I'm not saying we need to stop everything but I have realized that I haven't been the H I should have been. W is very insecure and I haven't done anything to make her feel special." Are u F kidding me! This EMA happened because she wasn't making you feel special and you were about to walk away. Now that she gets a whiff of something you need to give her more attention??? On Monday he was saying how he couldn't stand her, she is a B, she will never grow up, and he is both the parents in the house. I really hate him. I hate myself for ever believing a word out of his mouth. When just a month ago I wanted to slow things down oh no I was the bad person. "How can you do this to me. You don't Love me obviously." He isn't getting what he needs at home I know that. So u know what we can just be friends (we work together and family friends). I know what I brought to him and I know in time he will try and come back when nothing changes at home. I have to stay strong because This has changed me this whole EMA has taken a horrible toll on my sanity. I'm not sleeping. I cry all the time. I can't focus. How did I fall in Love with someone so uncaring. How did I let this happen to myself with someone willing to take and take and never give!
whichwayisup Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Sounds like you're waking up and seeing him for who is he. A typical lying and cheating MM who has no plans on leaving his marriage yet he wants you on the side on his terms and time frame. I'm sure it hurts but I do hope that this anger pushes you into a decision that you deserve better and more - That he will never be the one to give that to you. Have you thought about really ending it and walking away? 5
MissBee Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 (edited) Excuse my rambling I'm just so mad! So MM accidentally sent two txt to his W that were for me. Now neither we're anything huge (just saying Hi and telling me he is out with family shopping) but in any W eyes they would be questioning it I'm sure. So MM tells me she believed that it was an autocorrect error. I thought BS she did. He reassured me everything is fine on Sat/Sun. Well 4 days later, "it's we need to slow things down. I'm not saying we need to stop everything but I have realized that I haven't been the H I should have been. W is very insecure and I haven't done anything to make her feel special." Are u F kidding me! This EMA happened because she wasn't making you feel special and you were about to walk away. Now that she gets a whiff of something you need to give her more attention??? On Monday he was saying how he couldn't stand her, she is a B, she will never grow up, and he is both the parents in the house. I really hate him. I hate myself for ever believing a word out of his mouth. When just a month ago I wanted to slow things down oh no I was the bad person. "How can you do this to me. You don't Love me obviously." He isn't getting what he needs at home I know that. So u know what we can just be friends (we work together and family friends). I know what I brought to him and I know in time he will try and come back when nothing changes at home. I have to stay strong because This has changed me this whole EMA has taken a horrible toll on my sanity. I'm not sleeping. I cry all the time. I can't focus. How did I fall in Love with someone so uncaring. How did I let this happen to myself with someone willing to take and take and never give! The bolded is key IMO...as it's fine for him to say he isn't getting xyz at home, but what is he really giving? Often, cheaters are just as culpable as their spouse in terms of not giving and doing as they should, leading to the downfall of their relationship. His wife won't grow up he says...but pot meet kettle. He seems like a spoilt brat who expects his wife to cater to him, while he does what? Nothing. When you want to slow down....boo hoo, he accuses you of not loving him He's a child. Anyway...I think often with ddays and near ddays both the OW and MP may realize what is really at stake and what they're prepared to lose. The fog is a much contested term, but I have experienced and seen it and others have too. That is, sometimes a MP may truly be caught up and in that space, like yours is, of simply taking and taking and loving all the A brings and start over-promising ...then when reality hits, the W finding out etc...they all of a sudden snap out of it and want to back track or throw the OW under the bus and retreat to their "real life". I suggest you use this as a wake up call to figure out for YOURSELF if this situation is enough and if you're prepared to have him deny/throw you under the bus should another slip up occur. A loving relationship shouldn't have you losing sleep and crying all the time...sorry. You deserve someone who puts you first, prioritizes your relationship and who will honor, love and cherish you in ALL lights. Edited October 4, 2012 by MissBee 6
veryhappy Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 I know exactly how it hurts. In my case it sounded like this: one day it was "I'll file for divorce" and the next one "I haven't been romantic to her because all my energy was spent with you. Shouldn't I feel bad that I've given up on her ever since you came along?". Now the mind blowing part is that I was supposed to understand his reasoning. I didn't. I'm shattered because he couldn't even acknowledge my pain. It became all about her and the family, when up to that point there was nothing to save with the M. I'm sorry you are going through this.
Spark1111 Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Here is the biggest lesson you learned IMO: he loves you just fine.....as long as it is convenient and easy. No effort, no real commitment, just carefree fun with no strings attached. The minute there is any pressure, from a wife who may rightfully feel neglected, what does he do? Tell you that there has to be a cooling down period so he can spend more time with her. WTH? So, you tried to smash a dish over his head yes? because you would IF he wasn't married, right? But he just told you, whether you realized it or not, where his priorities lie...with her. And you just have to shut up and accept that, or show him the door today. Can you imagine if he had said to his wife, well I can't give you more attention because PHX needs me this week. Until you can imagine that, I have to ask you, what are you doing? Obviously, what your expectations and his are vastly different. Move on, for your own sake and find a man who is crazy about you every day. 2
skydiveaddict Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Excuse my rambling I'm just so mad! It always makes me laugh when home-wreckers like you post here looking for sympathy and validation for your lack of character.
veryhappy Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Ha ha ha, I'm surprised you were able to type laughing so hard! PHX, on this everyone will agree. You need to end the A. If you can't now, you need to keep trying, until you are done. But you need to move your mind in that direction. Trust me, you can do it. For me, this last stabbing was the death of it. I was out. Your heart will be shattered, and you might feel like you've never felt before, but at some point you know there's nothing in it for you anymore.
DBella Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 Why would you believe somebody you know for a fact is a liar? As if he was going to be honest with you common sense, woman but you'll get over it and move on eventually.
NoIDidn't Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 How did I fall in Love with someone so uncaring. How did I let this happen to myself with someone willing to take and take and never give! He told you his wife didn't make him feel special. That was your first clue on his willingness to take more than he gives.
MonsterMash Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I'm surprised that the OP is surprised. I mean...what did you really expect? He told you what you wanted to hear to get some pussy. Now that you're inconvenient to him ...you're cast aside. All those pretty words he said ain't so pretty anymore huh?
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