Desperatley seeking . My new borns father loves me but wants a break

[sberry]

This guy and me hit it off immediatley. It honestly felt unreal how perfect our love was. We said I love you for the first time and the exact same time. It just felt right. I had a crazy urge to move 6 hours away and this guy followed me. The move was unsuccessful so we moved in with his parents. Things were great but he started hanging out with his brother a lot. Taking the car and not returning phone calls. He would leave at 9 and disappear until 3 in the morning. We fought like crazy he swore he wasn't going to clubs or being unfaithful he didn't know why he never thought to call me and say he would be late. We found out we were pregnant and we were both excited it only took one try! However my pregnancy was horrible . He continued to disappear and not communicate with me. We worked through this with time and things were good until I found messages between him and a girl who he claims he met in wal mart. He made plans to meet her. I confronted him and after ignoring me for a few days he confessed he thought we didnt love each other anymore and he did make plans but on his way over he saw a baby picture of me and he couldn't do it to me. He was unsure if his intentions were sex or just to be around another girl. I forgave him and we have continued to fight up until the birth of our son. He was amazing. Loving caring supportive but then things changed I was paranoid and mean . He swore he wasn't doing anything but I would let it go and later lash out at inopportune times. He had sex with me one night and he was aggressive very unlike him. I finely looked through his phone he had been talking to another girl! He told me he hadn't been with me since the week before when I had a crazy attack and packed our son up and went to stay with friends 3 hours away for a week. I left him alone I was hurt. Eventually we met up and talked we agreed to take a break . The girl was from another state and he needed to talk to someone who didn't yell at him. We tried the break but we had sex and he said he missed me. we continued to live separately. Then I let him borrow my car . He was supposed to watch our son that night but didn't and i discovered he had been drinking we got in a huge fight and I had to call the cops. Well over the week he came by and we laughed and he apologized . He still wanted a break he tried to get me to agree to orally pleasure each other. I refused. He went and got me food but hasn't contacted me since. He just quit his job . He barely spends any time with his son. I know he's texting other girls . He mentioned he doesn't know why he treats me like he does because he loves me he thinks he is in a slump. I won't have sex with him . I'm trying no contact. I want to move on but a part of me hopes he will beg me back and he will change . Any advice on how to go forward?

[january2011]

This man was not ready to be a father and is not ready to be a husband or long-term partner.

 

He is focused on sex, flirting with other girls, drinking and acting irresponsibly. I highly doubt he's going to change anytime soon.

 

You need to focus on yourself and your son. You can't rely on your son's father for anything. Since he also quit his job, presumably he is not paying anything for his son's care in addition to not spending time with him.

 

You don't mention if you are still living with the baby's paternal grandparents. Where is your family in this? Can you move in with them? Otherwise, are the paternal grandparents supportive? Can one of them look after the child while you look for work when the baby is old enough?

[Hawaii50]

Cut your break lines and let him borrow the car again?!

>>>JOKE-I don't condone murder.<<<

 

Not much you can do except move on the best you can, and try to be the best mommy you can be. In everything that it entails. From now on, that child is the most important thing in your life. Guys will try to get your milk, you're an easier target now in the sense that you're sort of (and I know know your financial situation) in a desperate position. I wish the best and that maybe you find a nice single man with a child, and you both can do the Brady-bunch thing.

[sberry]

I'm living with the fathers parents they are beyond supportive and are stumped at why he is acting like this. I feel bad because I know he is going through a lot of stress and I want to believe that's why he is acting like this but he won't talk about it he just gets mad.

[CarrieT]

What are your ages?

 

I am guess early 20s? Because he is acting like a kid who -- as others have said - are not ready for the responsibility of parenthood and a serious relationship.

 

He's only into being a player. I'm sorry for you. Make sure you file for paternal rights to assure that he will be financially responsible for your child as I don't believe it is going to get any better for some time.

[Leigh 87]

Please stay clear of guys who are not all about you, and who text other girls. You should be the only girl they want to text (besides their female friends!)

 

There are so many men out there who would only want to be with you. Why put up with a man who texts other girls, when there are men who will not do that to you?

 

Do you want to stick with a guy who texts and flirts with other women? Or would you rather a respectful guy who does not do that to you? If you wat a guy who treats you badly, get back with him. Otherwise, please find the support you need to move on.

 

No contact is best. I hope he changes and steps up to his role as a father:sick: