Should I disclose infidelity?

[Sauron]

I am referring to me - who has had over 300 lovers - and many other posters on this site who have been here several years.

 

 

No where in this thread do you explain to the OP your background. And since the very first statement you come to in this thread is to state that if she cheated, he probably did as well is ludicrous and you deserve to be called on it. Venomous? Perhaps - because it is delusional to believe that because you have a cheating background, that all do.

 

 

I know your story well. I have weighed in on that thread and asked you several questions which you never bothered to answer.

 

 

That's the just the point. For many of us who have been cheated on, yours is not a voice a reason. It is not reasonable at all to assume that because someone cheats, that everyone cheats.

 

Sorry I didn't know you spoke for everyone here on LS, they didn't tell me that when I registered. I have put my disclaimer in a number of posts if you care to look. If you have legtimate questions I would be glad to answer them. And you are entitled to your opinion just like I am, it is for each indvidual to decide what is reasonable and what is not, NOT you.

[TaraMaiden]

CarrieT - Ignore him. I have. Honestly, it's for the best.

[Sauron]

CarrieT - Ignore him. I have. Honestly, it's for the best.

 

I really am just expressing an opinion and I could care less if any of you respond to me directly, I was getting worried because many of you end up high jacking threads I post in blasting me for one thing or another and end up diverting the posters original intent. My opinions are just as valid as anyone elses, well except you Tara, since you have a certificate from somewhere you won't disclose in realtionships counseling. Have a nice weekend.

[strongnrelaxed]

I really am just expressing an opinion and I could care less if any of you respond to me directly, I was getting worried because many of you end up high jacking threads I post in blasting me for one thing or another and end up diverting the posters original intent. My opinions are just as valid as anyone elses, well except you Tara, since you have a certificate from somewhere you won't disclose in realtionships counseling. Have a nice weekend.

 

Sauron, I think it is you who should ignore them. There is this strange thing where some folks here can spew any amount of unsubstantiated craziness about a random thing. Yet when you share an opinion, they suddenly become attentive to details.

 

This is exactly how feminism works. I actually appreciate when this is done to me. It shows young men and women what they can look forward to as women take on more positions of power in the US.

 

It is like this alternate universe where emotion and reason are on equal footing and it all depends on who yells the loudest, who is the nastiest and who has the most "likes" on a rude comment.

 

It reminds me very much of teenage girls in high school.

 

And this has very real implications in the real world. As more women become judges we are going to be in for a very rough ride indeed. Forget justice - we will have "care" instead.

 

*shivers*

[strongnrelaxed]

CarrieT - Ignore him. I have. Honestly, it's for the best.

 

No! Please don't ignore him! Keep spewing ladies. Our young male readers need the education. The more ignorant nastiness you spew, the better!

 

Men - pay close attention. Note the traditional "let's just ignore the stupid yucky man and he will go away" technique demonstrated above. You may remember this approach from 7th grade. Note how it remains as a defense mechanism into the late 40's among females of the species.

 

This will be your fate if you decide to get married or dare to call a woman on her bad behavior. It will be YOUR fault when she cheats and YOUR fault if you cheat.

 

Are you starting to see how they works?

[strongnrelaxed]

The men I cheated with were all one night stands. I don't see or speak to them anymore. It may be an underlying problem. I'm not sure but I think it was a result of my H not giving me affection and I needed it when they were available.

 

Holy mother of crap. Here it is for all to see. It is the HUSBAND's Fault!

 

Wow. Every time I think I am being over the top with my opinions, I am handed a gift like this. I am not judging demoness for cheating, but to blame your husband is disgusting and reprehensible.

[strongnrelaxed]

This is the stupidest thing I have ever read. Sauron, I have been cheated on several times in various relationships. I have never cheated on anyone. Don't project your situation on to others.

 

First of all, he said "most likely". Who voted you the queen of semantics? Sauron makes a very good point. One needs only to spend about 15 minutes on this site to come to the reasonable conclusion that people cheat on each other. To nag at him in such a childish way for stating the obvious does not reflect well on you. CarrieT, I suspect you are a better woman than this.

 

OP, please understand this suggestion is coming from a Man who is having a long-term affair with another woman, with no intention of telling his wife. He has been on this site to justify his affair and lies. Take his opinion with a grain of salt, please...

 

 

BS. I would take HIS opinion WAY before I would take someone who has no clue how complicated these things are. Would you go to a dentist for open heart surgery? Would you hire a non-technical person to protect your company from hackers? No! You would hire the most badass hacker you could find. I would prefer Sauron's candor and honesty to the platitudes and emotional rantings of someone who has only experienced one side of this - or is too dishonest to admit otherwise.

 

This is the opinion of a known cheater. Not all of us think this way.

 

Are you really name-calling? Really? I mean come on...Carrie...please tell me you are just kidding and slipped in a moment of frustration. Any good man would step up and apologize for this. Let's see if you are woman enough with the integrity and maturity to apologize for this obvious slip - graciously and without any hidden little barbs stuck in there.

 

 

No we don't. Many of us are very forward and up right in our lives and don't keep secrets.

 

Holy cow! Now you are saying that you, as a woman, do not keep secrets?

 

Do I even have to waste my time calling out how patently dishonest this is? If you do not keep secrets, then I am glad you are not my friend. If you do not keep secrets, do you tell all of your friends this before they divulge sensitive information to you?

 

 

If you respond by saying "shut up SNR you jerk. I keep secrets of that sort, but not of the other sort that does not support my original dishonest statement" - then all will know where you REALLY stand.

 

I think you are better than this Carrie. I hope so anyway.

Edited October 6, 2012 by strongnrelaxed
Typo

[CarrieT]

Holy cow! Now you are saying that you, as a woman, do not keep secrets?

I will answer this question.

 

The only secrets I keep are ones about gifts or surprise parties or whatnot.

 

If you do not keep secrets, do you tell all of your friends this before they divulge sensitive information to you?

Here's the reason why...

 

My friends know that there is no way I can or want to keep track other peoples secrets. I don't want to and they don't expect me to so if there is something THEY need to keep secret, they don't tell me. And I have a lot of friends so this is not an issue.

 

I used to try to keep confidences and playing that game of "don't tell so-and-so" is so juvenile. I am a very open and honest person and by not keeping secrets, I don't have to try and remember what I can and cannot say to people. I think it is easier to just be frank with the facts.

 

It is also refreshing when someone comes to you and tries to pry information out of you and you don't have to lie about what you know and don't know.

 

Perhaps it is because - in my youth - I got caught in those web of lies with friends that, for me, it is easier to not tell them anymore. So, no, I don't keep secrets of a personal nature.