kingpin Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 Hi All, I've been with my current g/f for about 14 months now and things have been going pretty well. Up untill about 9 months in things were perfect, we were really happy and I was in love with her so much...don't ask me how i knew...i just did. Anyway, around 6 months ago, we ran into some problems, where i recieved oral sex of somebody else.... I was naive enough to believe i could do it and get away with it and nobody would ever know...I couldn't and i told her. She quickly forgave me but it took me a while to forgive myself. I became depressed and ended up in councelling Since then we've been doing ok...especially the last 8-10 weeks where things have been much much better but there is one thought that i have a bit to often for my liking. The thought is - what if i don't love her ? what if it's not love ? Why would i cheat on somebody i love ? I like to spend lots of time with her and we enjoy most of the time together. This is my first serious relationship (i'm 21) and sometimes i wonder whether i love her, or if i'm staying cos i'm scared i won't get anyone else. I want to love her as much as i did before and have no doubts, but i cn't let myself - i'm scared i'm making the wrong decision Kingpin
Vie Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 I think if you love someone, you wouldn't have the heart to hurt them in any kind of way. If you can actually received oral sex while you were in relationship, then you definitely need to do some SERIOUS thinking. If you are in a relationship for that quite long time, you shouldn't be wondering how you really feel. It's either you love her or not. Another thing is I think your gf is such a forgiven. She's a good person. I know I couldn't forgive that easily, maybe I could never. It seems to me that you're taking her for granted. Maybe you should set her free. *~Vie~*
Author kingpin Posted July 27, 2004 Author Posted July 27, 2004 so what your sayin is i didn't deserve a second chance - and what i feel is punishment for my actions ? if i have to break up with her i'll be devestated
Author kingpin Posted July 27, 2004 Author Posted July 27, 2004 i don't want to hurt her...i've done that and i regret it....she didn't have to forgive me but she did. I just can't understand why i worry about loving her so much when all i want to do is love her. Why can't i just love her....
Debster Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 Why can't i just love her.... You can't make yourself love someone. Obviously you care about her and she sounds like a very nice, forgiving woman (there is NO way I would have given you a 2nd chance) but it doesn't appear as if you love her.
Vie Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 Wow.. that's a fast reply.. Anyway, Im sure that you're feeling awful for what you did and everything.. I should agree with the previous entry, Debster. Sometimes it is not easy to differ the feeling of love and care.
YellowLioness Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 Love is like air or water, it should just flow. You can't force it. Do you feel guilt and affection for her, or is it really love? Deb is right; she is really forgiving. Is that why you're with her, to make up your mistake to her because she was kind enogh to take you back? If so, be honest with her, but most of all yourself.
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