Misa Misa Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 He broke up with me 2 years ago after 6 years of relationship, both first love. during our relationship, i broke up with him once on the third year for another guy, but eventually we went back together. He started dating different girls after we broke up, and finally stayed with one of them. He is a good guy, and I think she is lucky. For me, I tried to get back with him in the beginning but he was so firm, but he said he can be friends with me and get through the break up. We had few dinners together, I stopped seeing him, because I think that is the best way to heal. 2 years later, I am married, and with a new born baby. I do not have too many friends, and I feel during the 6 years together, we had been though so much, and we are both each others best friend. When I called him for an excuse to return some old stuff he left at my place, he responsed me with a email. When our friends have reunion, he checks with the organizer that if I would be there. The weirdest of all, one time we both happened to be at a coffee shop, he asked his friend to get him the coffee, while he waits outside, to just avoid me cause I am sitting inside. I am married with a kid, and he is in a relationship. Why is he avoiding me. I don't hate him for dumping me. I wish he can treat me like an old friend, or just say hi, not someone he wants to avoid.
january2011 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 We don't get to choose to keep another adult in our lives if they don't want to be. Perhaps after the toing and froing in the past, he just doesn't want to get into all that again with you. He's got a new life and is in a relationship, let him be. Focus on your own family, especially your new born baby, who needs you right now. Make new friends rather than trying to hold onto people who don't want you to hold on. Respect his decision to leave the past in the past. 1
crude Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 It's SO obvious. Your husband has threatened your ex with a severe beating or even death if he goes anywhere near you.
MissBee Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 We don't get to choose to keep another adult in our lives if they don't want to be. Perhaps after the toing and froing in the past, he just doesn't want to get into all that again with you. He's got a new life and is in a relationship, let him be. Focus on your own family, especially your new born baby, who needs you right now. Make new friends rather than trying to hold onto people who don't want you to hold on. Respect his decision to leave the past in the past. I agree. It's weird, but maybe he has his reasons. I don't think it should matter to you now though, esp if you're married and have a baby. The least of your concerns should be trying to be a friend to your ex. In a perfect world we'd all be bestfriends with our exes...but most often we move on with our lives and that's that. Things ended quite awkwardly between my last ex and I. I have no hard feelings towards him anymore, but have also not seen him in 2 years. If we ran into each other, it might be a bit odd and I may avoid specifically speaking with him, simply because I'd have no idea what to say since we didn't end on a high note. I'd be cordial if I had to though. So maybe for some reason your ex feels awkward about speaking with you...who knows..don't sweat it though. It's more disconcerting to me that a married woman with a baby would care so much about being friends with an ex, to the point of posting online about why he avoids her 1
january2011 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 It's more disconcerting to me that a married woman with a baby would care so much about being friends with an ex, to the point of posting online about why he avoids her Yup, one of my first thoughts, MissBee. Especially when I got to the bit in the OP about a "new born baby."
stillafool Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 It's SO obvious. Your husband has threatened your ex with a severe beating or even death if he goes anywhere near you. REALLY OP? Really? A better question would be why do you want to keep in touch with him when you know your husband doesn't want you to? Your ex has obviously moved on with his life which is healthy. You have a husband and a new baby so isn't that enough to keep you busy. Do you have any girlfriends to call for friendship? Why do you need to be close to your ex?
Author Misa Misa Posted October 5, 2012 Author Posted October 5, 2012 I do not want to get close with my ex, neither my husband told me not to get in touch with ex. Thanks for all of your opinion.
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