Uloasion Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 First, just saying that title would be far more vulgar and filled with profanity if not for the site rules. Substitute your favorite vulgar word with screw up and that probably describes how I'm feeling right now. And now, the actual story: So, today (maybe yesterday by the time this post is finished) was my girlfriend's birthday. We've been together for 6 months, pushing on 7 on the 9th. So! For my birthday my girl got me a lot of stuff that was...pretty awesome, actually. Two shirts I really liked, a bracelet branded from one of my favorite games, and comic con tickets for me and her. Awesome. Well then, today was her birthday... Now to give you an idea of our ages: I have no job, minimal money to spend, and am completely unoriginal. For her birthday, I got her balloons and a homemade (three page) card. The price difference is scary, I know. If you think I'm cheap, you're probably right. That and poor(ish), yes. But I spent some good time and actually spent a lot of effort in making that card, and I helped arrange for some friends (of course, who wouldn't mind) to bring balloons too. She said she wanted a lot, I made sure that'd happen. She texted me shortly after I got home from us hanging out for her birthday. She was initially hinting at what she got me for my birthday, and I knew right away what was going on. Well, when I saw her in the morning I already felt the day would end badly. She said straight out through text that it was "f***ed up" that I didn't get her anything. I know. So she has basically lost all respect for me. Well, those are her paraphrased words, at least. So, wonderful people of LoveShack... What happens next? I'm honestly going to be up all night thinking about this, so until I finally pass out, I'll be watching this thread.
kae Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 so you didnt forget her birthday.. that`s a plus. do you spend money on video games?? do you spend money on hats?? do you spend money on fast food?? do you spend money on coffee?? do you spend money on clothe?? Why can`t you spend money on your girl?? You should have found money man!!! you should have made it happen. impressed her...with your resourcesfulness and your dedication to making her day..HER DAY!!! what happens next??? well.. many a women would interpret this gesture as what a future with you looks like.. and as how little she means to you. what happens next is you dedicate a whole week of a recreation of her one day. everyday is her birthday for one week!!!
Author Uloasion Posted October 4, 2012 Author Posted October 4, 2012 so you didnt forget her birthday.. that`s a plus. do you spend money on video games?? do you spend money on hats?? do you spend money on fast food?? do you spend money on coffee?? do you spend money on clothe?? Why can`t you spend money on your girl?? You should have found money man!!! you should have made it happen. impressed her...with your resourcesfulness and your dedication to making her day..HER DAY!!! what happens next??? well.. many a women would interpret this gesture as what a future with you looks like.. and as how little she means to you. what happens next is you dedicate a whole week of a recreation of her one day. everyday is her birthday for one week!!! No games. No hats. School food. No coffee. I've been wearing the same clothes for quite a while now. (not the same exact outfit, just have clothes) I've got no job, money isn't easy. If you haven't figured it out yet, we're high school students. Just explaining the lack of money If I had the money, honestly, I'd do something with her. Hell, I want to go bring her somewhere, but there's not even time that's close by. Basically, this weekend is completely overtaken by a school trip we're both going on. Week after is school. Closest opportunity is next weekend. I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm just explaining my situation. And I'm just generally unimaginative.
CC12 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Is there more to it than her just being upset that you didn't spend more money? Unless she's a total spoiled brat, it seems that she was maybe upset about something else, or a combination of factors. Were you nice to her that day? Did you try to make it a good day for her? How was your attitude? Did you do anything like, "Oh hey, by the way, your balloons are over by your locker" or something? Are you saving your money for something else? Does she not know that you're broke? I'm not trying to blame anything on you, but for her to be pissed that someone didn't spend enough money on her on her ~special day~ is just so disgustingly Entitled Princess-ish of her so I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. If you can honestly think of nothing else she might be pissed about, and it really is about money or material possessions, then maybe you can tell her that you tried hard to do nice things for her that day that you thought she would like and appreciate. If she can't accept that explanation, then...I don't know. Make money so you can shower her with gifts so she won't get mad at you, I guess. Or break up because she requires more maintenance than you're able to afford.
TaraMaiden Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Trust me: this is small-scale. If she doesn't know or appreciate what difficulties you face or how you feel about this, then either communication between you guys needs some serious modification, or she's very obtuse and shallow. If you think she's worth it, write her a romantic letter about how if money was no object you'd whisk her away Richard Gere/pretty Woman style to Paris, wine her and dine her, make her feel a million dollars, but you're an impoverished student and all you have is your heart. If she wants you to make it up to her, you'll try... But quite honestly, if this is how she 'measures' how much you love her, and uses birthday gifts as a pissing contest - think about this, fellah, think. 3
ascendotum Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 For a HS student she was pretty generous to you, and maybe she gets plenty of $ and whatever she wants from her folks so maybe she has high expectations when it comes to birthdays. I think you should have tested the waters out in advance by hinting you were depressed over being flat broke in the lead up to her birthday. (I think you really should have borrowed the $ from your friends or family). Just taking her out on a picnic you made in the botanic gardens would have been better than balloons, imo. Maybe some of the females on here can give you advice on what would turn things around for them.
Author Uloasion Posted October 4, 2012 Author Posted October 4, 2012 Is there more to it than her just being upset that you didn't spend more money? Unless she's a total spoiled brat, it seems that she was maybe upset about something else, or a combination of factors. Were you nice to her that day? Did you try to make it a good day for her? How was your attitude? Did you do anything like, "Oh hey, by the way, your balloons are over by your locker" or something? Are you saving your money for something else? Does she not know that you're broke? I'm not trying to blame anything on you, but for her to be pissed that someone didn't spend enough money on her on her ~special day~ is just so disgustingly Entitled Princess-ish of her so I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. If you can honestly think of nothing else she might be pissed about, and it really is about money or material possessions, then maybe you can tell her that you tried hard to do nice things for her that day that you thought she would like and appreciate. If she can't accept that explanation, then...I don't know. Make money so you can shower her with gifts so she won't get mad at you, I guess. Or break up because she requires more maintenance than you're able to afford. Was as nice as I always am every day for that day. Today went pretty awful, she didn't talk to me much or anything. This morning I got no texts from her and I sent none, mostly due to fear. She saw me sitting with one of my best female friends this morning (and a bunch of other people including her boyfriend), the only one she hates. That of course, didn't help my situation in the slightest. For a HS student she was pretty generous to you, and maybe she gets plenty of $ and whatever she wants from her folks so maybe she has high expectations when it comes to birthdays. I think you should have tested the waters out in advance by hinting you were depressed over being flat broke in the lead up to her birthday. (I think you really should have borrowed the $ from your friends or family). Just taking her out on a picnic you made in the botanic gardens would have been better than balloons, imo. Maybe some of the females on here can give you advice on what would turn things around for them. She gets paid often for walking her neighbor's dog, and has a family friend that gives her money often for no reason (like a surrogate grandmother). Money for her is less of an issue, I guess. Also didn't have time to take her out somewhere, I really would have. I was invited to go with her, a family friend, her mom, etc, for a sort of dinner party thing. Mostly just eating. But there was no time for anything else. I really would've probably went to the city with her or something if it wasn't for the scrap for time.
Imajerk17 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 (edited) Aww dude. I'm all against gold-digging chicks, but man...balloons and a card?? Lazy and corny. You could have saved that effort and just taken her to Chucky Cheeze. They have lots of balloons I believe. And games too. Put some real thought and consideration into it next time. You could have cooked her dinner and gotten her the card. Or better yet, mow your neighbor's yard for an extra $20 to buy her something thoughtful to go with your home-made dinner. Edited October 4, 2012 by Imajerk17
2sure Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Do you have a good picture of the 2 of you together? If not, get one ASAP. Print it 5x 7 , write " all my love, Your name" in the lower corner. Put it in a silver frame, your parents might have one. Get a Blank Card. Inside it write about how you feel about her and why you are lucky to have her. Done.
sooniechan Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 I might be in the minority on this but, really? She's upset because you didn't spend as much as she did for your birthday? Maybe I'm just weird but, I don't give gifts to people just to expect something back. I do it because I want to. It seems to me like that's kind of off-putting, to say the least. If you 2 have been together for that long and she doesn't know your financial situation you guys must not communicate well. Either way, I wouldn't stay with someone like that, it just shows me that material things are what is important and to me that's just a complete turn off. I'd leave but that's just me. If you want to try and make it better ask friends/family/do some random job (like mowing a lawn, babysit) for some extra money and get something you think she would like. Good luck to you. :3
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