othersideofthepillow Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 So I met this girl about a month ago through a friend. Hung out a few times and she was starting to text me all the time....hung out a few times after in group settings cause she invited me out. We ended up going out on a "date" but the time was actually delayed on her end due to being delayed with what she had started earlier in the day. We went out, had a few drinks with her sister and friend and then went to dinner. She came back after to my place, cuddled with me on my couch and ended up spending the night. No sex, just touching. She said its to early to sleep with me but that i am making it really hard for her not too. I wasnt upset so we continued to make out / touch and then fell asleep. I ended up going to work so i let her sleep. I sent her a text later on just asking her to make sure she locked the door on her way out which she did. It seems like shes just no interested at all anymore. I didnt do anything different but just seems like shes not anymore. She doesnt initiate contact as much anymore so im guessing she just isnt interested. So am i right? not interested? playing hard to get? Im a honest person and may just ask her point blank to avoid wasting time or letting myself think of her romantically at all...is that ok to due? thoughts and advice are always appreciated!
BeautifulBrunette Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 So I met this girl about a month ago through a friend. Hung out a few times and she was starting to text me all the time....hung out a few times after in group settings cause she invited me out. We ended up going out on a "date" but the time was actually delayed on her end due to being delayed with what she had started earlier in the day. We went out, had a few drinks with her sister and friend and then went to dinner. She came back after to my place, cuddled with me on my couch and ended up spending the night. No sex, just touching. She said its to early to sleep with me but that i am making it really hard for her not too. I wasnt upset so we continued to make out / touch and then fell asleep. I ended up going to work so i let her sleep. I sent her a text later on just asking her to make sure she locked the door on her way out which she did. It seems like shes just no interested at all anymore. I didnt do anything different but just seems like shes not anymore. She doesnt initiate contact as much anymore so im guessing she just isnt interested. So am i right? not interested? playing hard to get? Im a honest person and may just ask her point blank to avoid wasting time or letting myself think of her romantically at all...is that ok to due? thoughts and advice are always appreciated! I am having the same problem. Met this guy, he initiated all of the texts and what-not, went on a date, he kissed me and later texted me that I was amazing and beautiful and then......nothing. My best guess, they're no longer interested.
joystickd Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 She wanted to have sex probably you went along with her and she saw you as weak 1
ja123 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 I don't know what's going on with this chick. What I'd say though is to keep the door open, but don't intiate contact except to invite her out on a date. If she says she's not available, then give her another night as an option, if she says she's busy or whatever, then move on immediately. And I wouldn't invite someone new over on a work night ... you don't know her and you leave her in your private space?? That's a bit weird (too much, too soon), plus you could really compromise yourself by doing that with someone you don't know. It's not prudent.
ScreamingTrees Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 She wanted to have sex probably you went along with her and she saw you as weak Well, if this was the case, you might as well just ask her outright if she wants to meet up to bang or something. If this is what she originally wanted, why not just try being open and see if it works? You're basically screwed as it is. If she only wanted to fool around, and you wouldn't mind that, it might not be too late to show her that you aren't "weak"... If you don't see it as more trouble than it's worth, or aren't interested in casual encounters.
SJC2008 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 She wanted to have sex probably you went along with her and she saw you as weak If that's the case she's the weak one for not having sex if she wanted to. No means no and that's final. I'm never going to fish through a "No but I hope he still tries, I just gotta give some resistance not to look easy" and risk the chance of an acusation.
oaks Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 If that's the case she's the weak one for not having sex if she wanted to. No means no and that's final. I'm never going to fish through a "No but I hope he still tries, I just gotta give some resistance not to look easy" and risk the chance of an acusation. Agreed. If she says "no" but really means "yes" then that's her silly fault when she doesn't get any. Actually, not silly, but stupid, given how important the concept of "no" meaning "no" should be. I doubt that's the case with this woman. Not interested seems more likely. When I'm not sure if a woman is not interested, I find the easiest solution is to invite her on a date... with a specific time/location/activity mentioned in the conversation. If she accepts then she's probably interested. If she offers other specific availability (she's free thursday instead of tuesday, she likes bowling instead of skating etc) then she's probably interested. Anything else and she isn't. (and even if she seems interested she might still cancel or flake or decide the other guy is better)
Author othersideofthepillow Posted October 4, 2012 Author Posted October 4, 2012 Yeah. If she starts to seem interested again I'll decide at that point but I'm just gonna right this one off in the not interested category anymore. Plenty of fish in the sea! Thanks for the opinions!
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