salty_water12 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Hello everyone. My bf and I met senior year of college. He is from South Carolina and I am in Chicago where we attended school. I got a job right away after graduation, as did he, but in SC. We have been LDR for almost 2 and a half years now, and there is no definite end in sight at the moment. We see each other about once every 6-7 weeks for about a week at a time. Sometimes it is longer than 6-7 weeks. We alternate who goes to see who. The issue is, I am wondering if anyone has experienced this: Can LDRs mask how compatible you really are with one another in the long run? My bf and I are the living definition of opposites attract. He is very into being outside, surfing, biking, snowboarding, trail running, hiking, etc. I have never been interested in any kind of sports, even in high school. I am a typical girly girl who loves to shop with girlfriends, get nails done, etc. I try, and am willing to do these outdoor things with him when we are together, but many people around us have began to ask me if it is the DISTANCE ITSELF that keeps us together, and they question that if we were not LD like your average couple, if we could make it together. I sometimes think he would be better off with someone with similar interests to his, and that in the long run, I do not want an outdoor lifestyle like he does. Has anyone ever been faced with this? Loving the little time you have together, but then it not being the same when you are finally together, and the magic fizzles out? I am afraid this is going to happen to us. Thank you for any help:)
Balzac Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 I would not view it as a problem. I participate in indoor+outdoor sports, never use a woman's preference as any issue. Golf, squash, running, swimming, skeet shooting, skiing just to name a few. It's bromance or solitary escape for me.
Author salty_water12 Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 Thanks, but I wasn't trying to focus on the sports so much. I could go on and on about our differences. I was asking more of a general question about if LDRs keep people together longer that ordinarily wouldn't stay together very long.
Balzac Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 I get your focus. My opinion is that differences can and do enhance a relationship. That being said, some shared time is required and distance can be problematic if shared time is not adequate. What is your real concern? Surely not the comments of friends. 1
amayana Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Hi there, I'm not in the position to tell you if the distance is what's keeping you and your boyfriend together. I think you (and your boyfriend) would be the only people able to answer that question. On another note, I personally don't think that distance can keep people together. That's a very huge contradiction. However, what keeps many couples, not just "usual" ones, together is habit & the fear of ending up alone again. And I guess that can also happen to LDRs. They're like any other relationship with a special twist. Moreover, I don't quite understand people who think that a relationship between two people can only work if they're interested in exactly the same things. Would you want your boyfriend to join you and get his nails done with you? I'm guessing you don't really expect that from him. That's something you'd rather do with one of your girls. You can apply the same to him. He could easily do his outdoor activities with one of his buddies. Being different to each other is even a very complimentary factor to a relationship. You can discover new interests with the help of your partner. I'm sure that you do have some things in common that may not be very obvious. If, however, your views differ completely and you get into severe arguments because of it, you might want to reconsider and see what you can do about it.
meeji Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 I see where hog are going with this and I can relate. Me and my boyfriend are exactly the same way as you and your significant other. We haven't been together as long but I definitely have wondered the same things myself. I guess in one sense, it takes time to grey to know someone and if you only see someone once every six months it will take twice or even three times,as long to really get to know them... And even longer to learn all the things that annoy the crap out of you and immature behaviors that the other one does and insecurities, anything that was done in the beginning with the intent of making a good impression that was just a stretch of the truth.seeing someone everyday, tug learn these things quickly but with the distance between, it could be possible that it will last longer before reality sinks in. On the contrary, if both parties are completely honest and not holding back when time is spent together, there shouldn't be any surprises. If you really know you're partner well then everything mentioned above does not apply. I wouldn't worry about it so much. If he tests you right and rig want to be with him, do what feels right. So what if you guys are opposites.carte If it's not affecting your relationship in a negative way, don't problems that don't exist
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