StartingOver4 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Hello everyone. I am just not doing well. Before I separated, I had some things I was struggling with - lack of a career, gaining weight, etc. It's been almost a month since I moved out, and my life feels like it's getting worse every day. Now, besides what I was already dealing with, I'm worried about money, the new place is still a mess, I can't get my schoolwork done, and I'm very depressed. When I think about going back to my husband, I know it's not the right decision. I was very unhappy with him. BUT, my life was not chaotic, and I was able to put my unhappiness aside for the most part while I got things done. Now, I wake up and have to force myself out of bed. I just went back on medication, which will take a little while to work. It just seems like the "good" moments are getting fewer and farther between. I'm really scared that I'll never be happy again. Please help.
pink_sugar Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 I guess you have to ask yourself this...were you happier with or without him? 1
Author StartingOver4 Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 Well, that's a tricky question. I was happier before I moved out. But I also had far fewer financial concerns, wasn't concerned with dying alone, wasn't taking care of two kids by myself, didn't live in an apartment in need of a ton of repairs...heck, when I put it that way no wonder I'm freaking out! I have my usual problems, my new stressors, AND I'm grieving the loss of my marriage. I know it was a simple question from a stranger, but that little bit gives me a new perspective on this whole thing! Thank you.
Author StartingOver4 Posted October 4, 2012 Author Posted October 4, 2012 No, I wouldn't want to go back if everything else was in place - because nothing has changed between us. And he still won't really talk about what went wrong. So I would just find myself back here again. I just need to get my head around the fact that this is going to be hard, and life won't be much fun for a while. But knowing my feelings are normal does help. Thank you.
riverratt Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 and life won't be much fun for a while. This attitude is why you are down..Seriously, I am not trying to be an ass but it is true. The fact that you are alive is worth it all. You have your kids that love you and you love them. Hold your head up and remember those things and the others will just fall into place..
Author StartingOver4 Posted October 4, 2012 Author Posted October 4, 2012 Well, I have a bad habit of wanting everything NOW. I figure if I can internalize the fact that this will take time, that there will be bad days, etc., I won't let those bad days knock the wind out of me.
riverratt Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Well, I have a bad habit of wanting everything NOW. I totally get that..I am impatient myself... Just hang in there and rant all you want on this forum...We have your back...even though we may seem harsh at times..
Author StartingOver4 Posted October 4, 2012 Author Posted October 4, 2012 Thank you, Riverratt. That means a lot.
kae Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Can`t you just turn the page on what went wrong and trust he knows his mistakes and wont do them again?? love is supposed to cover a multitude of wrongs.. Forgiveness without ... very spiritually strong ability. your capacity for it is inside you. Have you ever done something or said something bad and the next day the people deleted it... have you ever known in your heart what they were doing..and felt deeply loved??? My sister taught me that. she makes me feel accpeted and loved when she does that for me. Im an idiot ..me and my mouth..ahhhhhhhhh :/ kids need two parents. you need a man.. life is hard...married or single.
Real2Real Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Well, I have a bad habit of wanting everything NOW. I figure if I can internalize the fact that this will take time, that there will be bad days, etc., I won't let those bad days knock the wind out of me. I am sorry for your situation. Must be really tough especially first month. My situation different but attidude was the same. I wanted everything NOW. You are not kid, you are adult. Everything takes time, especially feelings. Treat yourself. Go to SPA, meet some friends. Take you time. Little by little. By the way what is the background? It seems that you just ran away unprepared?
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