Avulare Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 A big self-improvement issue that I think is overlooked by a lot of guys is HYGIENE HYGIENE HYGIENE! I can't think of anything that would better ruin a guy's chance of getting with a woman than if he looks or smells disgusting. What I'm talking about has nothing to do with style or fashion, it's just taking care of oneself. Having some guy whose breath reeks try to chat you up is one of the worst things ever. I have lots of male friends with varying degrees of success with the womenfolk, and I've noticed that poor personal hygiene tends to be strongly negatively correlated with success with women. Some of them complain about not being able to get a girl, when I know for a fact they don't shower or brush their teeth more than once or twice a week. Yeah, no s*** you can't get a girl. Recently there's been this guy in one of my classes who sits next to me every day and tries to strike up a conversation, but the way he's presenting himself makes me want to just get up and walk away. He always smells strongly of stale body odor and marijuana, comes to class barefoot with dirty feet, plaque on his teeth, and has horrible skin. And by horrible skin I don't mean like he just has some late acne, I mean he looks like he probably smokes cigarettes (which is disgusting in and of itself), doesn't ever wash with soap, and picks at every little blemish leaving gross bloody scabs on his face. Greasy, blotchy, unhealthy-looking skin. Just gross. Seriously, if you're a guy and you aren't showering once a day with hot water and soap (more often if necessary, like if you get all sweaty at the gym or something), wearing deodorant, or brushing your teeth regularly, you might as well stop subjecting girls to your presence because that stuff is never going to fly with them. Unless, I guess, you're trying to get with girls who are equally revolting. Wow, this came out as more of a rant than I anticipated. I guess I'm just frustrated at the surprisingly large number of adult men who don't seem to understand the most basic aspects of personal hygiene and how they might relate to getting a girl.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 This might sound like circular logic, but I have a theory: The guys who are hopeless with women, do a lot of complaining but in the end, they don't take much action. They probably have that attitude when it comes to other areas of their lives too--you know, when the going is tough, simply give up. That attitude is in and of itself unattractive to women. TRUE I didn't use anyone per se but I hustled because I just really wanted to get a handle on my dating life. As there were no single women at work and I didn't know about online dating, it was the only way I knew at the time how to meet women so I was going to make the most of it. Maybe not the healthiest lifestyle looking back, but I did make a lot of progress. I also did a lot of self-improvement. My ambition helped me out a lot. You know, I usually scoff at PUA stuff and will continue to do it! But, truly, I know that there are plenty of guys who used some of it to get over many social hurdles and I'm glad that they found the help there. But it's kind of ironic. The post I quoted is completely rotten with PUA buzzwords, cliches and catchphrases: hypergamous date out of their league pump and dump spinning plate high status male options Feminist entitlement AFC pedestalizing Alpha I notice this a lot among our more bitter of the frustrated here. They seem very immersed in PUA "culture" but it is only helping them dig themselves deeper ...
SteveC80 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 As a man who was lucky enough to be attractive to a lot of women i never had this problem but also symphatize with some frustrated guys I had friends who couldnt get women and and id tell thme the same stuff others try the frustrated guys here because ifigure if it was easy for me to get women why not everyone? plus my friends werent bad guys or social retards they were fairly normal Then when i tried to hook my friends up with friends of numerous women i met i found out that my friends simply werent attratcive enough physcially to a lot of women and it had nothing to do with what they said or did Getting tons of women from being good looking showed me how much looks matter as much as we like to downplay it or act like its about whast on the inside, some of thse guys might be fairly normal good dudes but women just dont find them physically appealing
jobaba Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 The thing that frustrates me most is ... I ALWAYS feel like I need to improve/change something about myself. Whether it be my career, education, personality, masculinity, charisma, how interesting I am, how many places I've been... And others don't feel like they have to lift a finger to better themselves, because they have no problems attracting people. To be honest, I like who I am (minus the bitterness). I'm a good, non-shallow guy, who would treat a woman great. I've got degrees, dress well, have been told I'm intelligent, have some decent musical talent. Apparently, not a lot of women are buying that package. People closest to me (sister, friends) actually say I'm TOO hard on myself.
El Brujo Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 What are you doing to improve your results --partaking in activities that will expand your horizons/make you grow as a man? Close, but no cigar. I'm busy working on greatly improving my own quality of life, as I'll explain at the end of this post... I ask because many of you seem to be going around in circles. And many of the rest of us have accused you all of "not doing anything" except whining. Maybe that isn't the case. You ask because you want to find out our best tricks so you can try them yourself. I know how it works! Ive seen it first hand lately.. My friend is good looking and makes well over 6 figures and he pumps and dumps these average/plain women hes barely attracted to..these women bordelrine stalk him and cry over him and act like they were going out for years when he barely remembers their name and probably coludnt pick them out of a lineup.. ...your friend is smart as well. He has figured out that by getting his s**t together and thinking in terms of improving his quality of life rather than avoiding hits to it, he's effectively having his cake and eating it too. Women are throwing themselves at him because they want some of that cake. The bottom line is, people don't plan to fail, they fail to plan... and your friend knows how to do it right.
yongyong Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 That's your big problem right there. The thing that frustrates me most is ... I ALWAYS feel like I need to improve/change something about myself. Whether it be my career, education, personality, masculinity, charisma, how interesting I am, how many places I've been... And others don't feel like they have to lift a finger to better themselves, because they have no problems attracting people. To be honest, I like who I am (minus the bitterness). I'm a good, non-shallow guy, who would treat a woman great. I've got degrees, dress well, have been told I'm intelligent, have some decent musical talent. Apparently, not a lot of women are buying that package. People closest to me (sister, friends) actually say I'm TOO hard on myself.
verhrzn Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 That's your big problem right there. I am very interested to hear how being non-shallow is the biggest problem.
Content Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 The thing that frustrates me most is ... I ALWAYS feel like I need to improve/change something about myself. Whether it be my career, education, personality, masculinity, charisma, how interesting I am, how many places I've been... And others don't feel like they have to lift a finger to better themselves, because they have no problems attracting people. To be honest, I like who I am (minus the bitterness). I'm a good, non-shallow guy, who would treat a woman great. I've got degrees, dress well, have been told I'm intelligent, have some decent musical talent. Apparently, not a lot of women are buying that package. People closest to me (sister, friends) actually say I'm TOO hard on myself. Its funny i rarely see dudes with sisters struggle with women because at a young age they learn to connect with another women somewhere near their age plus youd think shes try to hook you up or at least boost your self esteem
SteveC80 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 I am very interested to hear how being non-shallow is the biggest problem. Because youre approaching people you dont necassarily find very attratcive but approaching becasue you think they might say yes Plus hitting on plain women isnt a gurantee either sometimes they can be just as picky
ScreamingTrees Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Its funny i rarely see dudes with sisters struggle with women because at a young age they learn to connect with another women somewhere near their age plus youd think shes try to hook you up or at least boost your self esteem Eh, who cares? If you can communicate with other human beings, you can talk to females. They're not aliens, and if you treat them like human beings they'll most likely react positively, or at least not negatively..
SJC2008 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 I've tried to be more forward physically, ie kissing on the first date. But that hasn't seemed to help. I have also tried to flirt more. I'm almost 31 so hitting on girls at shcool is a waste IMO and even if I was their age I'd bee too shy to do it. I have SA and have grown out of it to a certain extent but in situations with people I don't know it takes me a while to warm up.
verhrzn Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 It'd be interesting to actually have pictures of some of the guys represented in this thread. Aside from ThaWhalogian and ScreamingTrees, I don't think I've seen anyone else post theirs. Maybe they should try it out? And no cheating, and posting from a body builder's forum...
jobaba Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Its funny i rarely see dudes with sisters struggle with women because at a young age they learn to connect with another women somewhere near their age plus youd think shes try to hook you up or at least boost your self esteem Interesting point. But it doesn't really work like that. Me and my sister talked about dating and my struggles with women a lot when I was in college. She gave me some good tips and pointers, but none of it really amounted to much. She told me the key was to become friends with women first. Well. Been there, done that. Anybody who knows my post history here knows my feelings about the friends first path... Also, older sisters' friends don't go for younger brothers unless he's a good looking stud, in which case that guy wouldn't need the help anyway. We are close in age too. It has helped a little in terms of having a close female confidant, but now I also have close female friends, just friends. And I've had them for MANY years. So ... that is not the problem.
SJC2008 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 It'd be interesting to actually have pictures of some of the guys represented in this thread. Aside from ThaWhalogian and ScreamingTrees, I don't think I've seen anyone else post theirs. Maybe they should try it out? And no cheating, and posting from a body builder's forum... I'd post a pic but I don't want to blow my cover about my hist. I put some pretty personal stuff on this thread.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Because youre approaching people you dont necassarily find very attratcive but approaching becasue you think they might say yes Plus hitting on plain women isnt a gurantee either sometimes they can be just as picky ??? I don't think that being non-shallow has anything to do with this. Being non-shallow means that you have depth as a person.
Content Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 I already showed my pic and it dindt go too well the first time for me:laugh:
jobaba Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 It'd be interesting to actually have pictures of some of the guys represented in this thread. Aside from ThaWhalogian and ScreamingTrees, I don't think I've seen anyone else post theirs. Maybe they should try it out? And no cheating, and posting from a body builder's forum... There's no point in that. None of us are HOT or particularly good looking. If we were, we wouldn't be struggling. If some of the posters here called us cute or not bad, then we'd just think they were pandering. And if they called us ugly or had nothing to say, then it'd just have a negative effect. So it's a lose-lose.
Titania22 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 All a female has to do is not be morbidly obese or morbidly anorexic, not look like a complete slob and be reasonably healthy, clean and hygenic and men will approach her. This is just NOT true.
verhrzn Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 There's no point in that. None of us are HOT or particularly good looking. If we were, we wouldn't be struggling. If some of the posters here called us cute or not bad, then we'd just think they were pandering. And if they called us ugly or had nothing to say, then it'd just have a negative effect. So it's a lose-lose. But it could be that people would give you pointers on your appearance and style. For example, if a guy is kind of baby-faced or young in looks, I find that the right glasses do a great deal to make him seem more mature. It's better than nothing, is it not?
SJC2008 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 OP you raise a good point in your OP but whatever happened to being yourself? I mean yeah if I was shooting for bikini girls I'd be living it up at the gym getting fit. But I'm not so why should I. I don't mind a girl who's a little heavy set/chunky but like I've said here before those chics still get skinny guys which proves a point another poster had about women dating out of their league. Why date a guy with a similar body type when they can still get a skinny guy? So where does that leave guys like me? Date women who are proportionately bigger than me? Date an obese woman??
SteveC80 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 I already showed my pic and it dindt go too well the first time for me:laugh: If i remember from your pic youre a pretty decent looking dude its not your looks..i think v even said there was a hot blond going out with a guy who looked like you lol
ScreamingTrees Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 It'd be interesting to actually have pictures of some of the guys represented in this thread. Aside from ThaWhalogian and ScreamingTrees, I don't think I've seen anyone else post theirs. Maybe they should try it out? And no cheating, and posting from a body builder's forum... I don't think asking questions about your appearance on the internet is necessarily a good idea, nor will it get you anywhere, depending on who you're asking. (And you really have no way of controlling that..) People can be quite cruel on the internet when they're hiding behind a monitor, and most if not all of these guys are just as bad as you when it comes to taking a compliment of any kind.. AM I PRETTY OR UGLY? - YouTube - Even if this was meant to be a parody(?), it seems as though lots of comments were pretty tasteless/unnecessary and immature considering it was just a cute little girl making a stupid video, she wasn't harming anyone. Seems to be standard internet etiquette towards this sort of stuff for whatever reason, so be it.
jobaba Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 (edited) I don't think asking questions about your appearance on the internet is necessarily a good idea, nor will it get you anywhere, depending on who you're asking. (And you really have no way of controlling that..) People can be quite cruel on the internet when they're hiding behind a monitor, and most if not all of these guys are just as bad as you when it comes to taking a compliment of any kind.. AM I PRETTY OR UGLY? - YouTube - Even if this was meant to be a parody(?), it seems as though lots of comments were pretty tasteless/unnecessary and immature considering it was just a cute little girl making a stupid video, she wasn't harming anyone. Seems to be standard internet etiquette towards this sort of stuff for whatever reason, so be it. What was she, like 12? Hard to tell exactly how she's going to turn out, but she'll likely be pretty cute. To be honest, that girl reminds me of many of the women I have gone for. When they were younger, they thought they were unattractive and they are insecure and are posting "Am I Ugly?" and stuff. Then, I am the guy who thinks they are super cute, and by then, they have enough male attention to totally blow me off and not even consider me as a possibility. Vicious. Sometimes when I see young girls (aged 9-13 or so), maybe my friend's friends kids, I'll say to myself ... "Yup, she's gonna grow up to reject me (or a guy like me)." Yup. It's BAD. Edited October 4, 2012 by jobaba
yongyong Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Do you know what Vice Versa is? how would you feel if someone tells you you should go for 'that' guy below your league, none of your friends want? What kind of women would be attracted to a man who doesn't have standard? Would she look at you as 'humane person' if your ex was ugly as f-ck? When you stop being shallow, that means you don't have a dignity and became desperate to be with anyone. Why the f-cuk someone would want this kind of men/women? I am very interested to hear how being non-shallow is the biggest problem.
verhrzn Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 What was she, like 12? Hard to tell exactly how she's going to turn out, but she'll likely be pretty cute. To be honest, that girl reminds me of many of the women I have gone for. When they were younger, they thought they were unattractive and they are insecure and are posting "Am I Ugly?" and stuff. Then, I am the guy who thinks they are super cute, and by then, they have enough male attention to totally blow me off and not even consider me as a possibility. Vicious. Sometimes when I see young girls (aged 9-13 or so), maybe my friend's friends kids, I'll say to myself ... "Yup, she's gonna grow up to reject me (or a guy like me)." Yup. It's BAD. Okay, I am always fascinated by this.... how do you KNOW she has tons of male attention? Is she telling you? Are you following these girls around, making tally marks of all the guys that talk to her? Or are you just assuming that she has tons of male attention? Also, in what manner are the girls "blowing you off"?
Recommended Posts