Imajerk17 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 (edited) What are you doing to improve your results with women? Are you --making it a point to carry yourself better (good posture, body language, walking with confidence, speaking with sold tonality) --making it a point to dress better --joining clubs/activities where you can engage in more substantial interactions with women --working out --studying any PUA products/enlisting the help of a dating coach --doing cold approaches (day or night) --partaking in activities that will expand your horizons/make you grow as a man? I ask because many of you seem to be going around in circles. And many of the rest of us have accused you all of "not doing anything" except whining. Maybe that isn't the case. Edited October 3, 2012 by Imajerk17
january2011 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Not a frustrated guy or girl when it comes to dating but an interested observer.... The answer I've seen most often on here is that frustrated guys (and girls) are doing all that they can. It's just that none of it's working. Or at least not in the way that they want it to work.
Author Imajerk17 Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 (edited) Not a frustrated guy... The answer I've seen most often on here is that frustrated guys (and girls) are doing all that they can. It's just that none of it's working. Or at least not in the way that they want it to work. Sure. But I would like for them--the guys for whom this thread is aimed at--to be a bit more specific in what they mean by "doing all they can". A few of the items on my list above can be grouped under "flirt/ask out more women". A few others can be grouped under "learn what you are doing right/wrong/could be doing better in how to interact more effectively with women" and the remaining couple item can be grouped under "become a more compelling person". Edited October 3, 2012 by Imajerk17 1
Author Imajerk17 Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 Is there PUA for girls?... V I really would like to be about the guys and their issues. Thanks.
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Do I count as "frustrated"? I view myself more as a "Debbie Downer" than anything, but oh well. Answers in bold. What are you doing to improve your results with women? Are you --making it a point to carry yourself better (good posture, body language, walking with confidence, speaking with sold tonality) yeah --making it a point to dress better What does this mean? Unless I have to dress up I'm wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Just how it is. --joining clubs/activities where you can engage in more substantial interactions with women Nope. Why would I? It's a fruitless exercise. --working out Yeah. --studying any PUA products/enlisting the help of a dating coach Nope. --doing cold approaches (day or night) Never --partaking in activities that will expand your horizons/make you grow as a man? Define what these are. I suspect I'm not, but I'm curious as to what you mean by this.
verhrzn Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 V I really would like to be about the guys and their issues. Thanks. Okey-dokey.
ThaWholigan Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Is there PUA for girls?... There should be . I'll do my research and get back to you
SmileFace Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 There should be . I'll do my research and get back to you I personally don't think girls need it. PUA is based on getting dates and not an actual relationship right?
ThaWholigan Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 (edited) I personally don't think girls need it. PUA is based on getting dates and not an actual relationship right? It's also about getting interest from the members of the opposite sex whom you desire. Some girls may get dates from time to time, but they may struggle still. Either way, let's not go to far off topic I'm of the opinion that if you really want companionship, you have to take care of all the other areas of your life. It's easy to look at others who LOOK like they aren't doing this, but that doesn't matter. I want companionship, but I'm not in a deep longing for it, I am more excited and focused on other parts of my life, my physical health, my goals and endeavors, my spiritual and financial growth as well as my social image. Trying to create a synergy between the two takes up more of my time and actively prevents me from pining over my failings with women over the years. Perhaps only one girl I liked got to me - but I dealt with that OK I think. I also do dedicate some of my time to attraction and learning it as well, because it will serve me well when I eventually do get a partner. Edited October 3, 2012 by ThaWholigan
oldshirt Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Is there PUA for girls?... Girls don't need PUA. Men are so simple and their interest is dictated almost entirely by looks and sexual receptivity. All a female has to do is not be morbidly obese or morbidly anorexic, not look like a complete slob and be reasonably healthy, clean and hygenic and men will approach her. There are zillions of books, magazines, websites and friends, relatives etc that tell women how to look good and maintain health and fitness. For men it's an entirely different reality. Men have to be the ones that approach women for sexuality/romance and they have to be picked over all the other men approaching her for the same thing.
rocketman122 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 work out (bodybuild, not running/fitness crap), dress well. oh, btw, fashion and style are 2 different things. you need to have a good sense of style to choose nice fashionable things. thats all I did to improve my percentage. thats for catching them. bodybuilding will give you all the confidence you need. I had the personality but when I started dating, I was so nervous. I failed the first few dates. but you learn. dating many woman taught me so much. I dated way too much in the last 2 years. the main thing I learned about woman is they dont know WTF they want. simple as that.
Sith Apprentice Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 (edited) Women don't need PUA materials. The unattractive, uncool girl can still get BFs and sex, where as the unattractive guy can't or can't get much of anything no matter how hard he tries. The real problem and causation which is that women are hypergamous and will always try to date out of their league even if that means mostly being a pump and dump or a spinning plate to a high status male that has lots of options. If average women wanted relationships with average guys then the whole problem would be solved and PUA wouldn't exist. Feminist entitlement +social media+ AFC pedestalizing has created a problem where women want to date not just out of their league but way out of their stratosphere. Hypergamy theory says women want a guy who is better in status than them or who they can in some way look up to. They don't want an equal. I think what's happened is that now women want a guy who is way above instead of slightly ahead of them. They'd rather share an uber-Alpha instead of having an average guy all to themselves. Thirty years ago you didn't have PUA boot camps and the concept of AFC hadn't come into existence because if you were an average guy you could get a girl without too much trouble. Being Alpha has always been the optimum strategy but being an average hard working joe was an efficient enough strategy for getting a mate. That's not the case anymore. Denialists can reminisce about the past all they want, but to be sexually successful in today’s world, you need to know more psychology than Freud did. Edited October 3, 2012 by Sith Apprentice
AD1980 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Women don't need PUA materials. The unattractive, uncool girl can still get BFs and sex, where as the unattractive guy can't or can't get much of anything no matter how hard he tries. The real problem and causation which is that women are hypergamous and will always try to date out of their league even if that means mostly being a pump and dump or a spinning plate to a high status male that has lots of options. If average women wanted relationships with average guys then the whole problem would be solved and PUA wouldn't exist. Feminist entitlement +social media+ AFC pedestalizing has created a problem where women want to date not just out of their league but way out of their stratosphere. Hypergamy theory says women want a guy who is better in status than them or who they can in some way look up to. They don't want an equal. I think what's happened is that now women want a guy who is way above instead of slightly ahead of them. They'd rather share an uber-Alpha instead of having an average guy all to themselves. Thirty years ago you didn't have PUA boot camps and the concept of AFC hadn't come into existence because if you were an average guy you could get a girl without too much trouble. Being Alpha has always been the optimum strategy but being an average hard working joe was an efficient enough strategy for getting a mate. That's not the case anymore. Denialists can reminisce about the past all they want, but to be sexually successful in today’s world, you need to know more psychology than Freud did. Ive seen it first hand lately.. My friend is good looking and makes well over 6 figures and he pumps and dumps these average/plain women hes barely attracted to..these women bordelrine stalk him and cry over him and act like they were going out for years when he barely remembers their name and probably coludnt pick them out of a lineup.. Meanwhile guys like me who are closer to their level looks wise and would treat them well unlike my friend they just ignore..
yongyong Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Typical single guys' logic - oh I should learn how to be more confident. I should work out. does my style ok? Typical single girls' logic - I need to find someone who likes my personality. I choose not to take care of myself physically. I don't want shallow guys. Every time someone says 'hey how about XXX (some fat chick)?' I tell them I don't go to gym and work hard to be with someone lazy. Both Men and Women should improve themselves to meet a better companion
Anela Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 V: Rori Raye's Have The Relationship You Want: Relationship Advice for Women I think that should work. I haven't visited there for ages - I don't remember when I was last there (maybe last year).
rocketman122 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 well if one is a fat slob that dresses like a bum then no woman will take interest. you have to first attract and lure them in.
DreamerDeceiver Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 I ask because many of you seem to be going around in circles. And many of the rest of us have accused you all of "not doing anything" except whining. Maybe that isn't the case. Tell me all about it, guys like this crack me up, they are not doing everything they can, and I'll tell you why... They are too afraid of getting their ego bruised and they love to complain because of the attention it gets them. The little inner child, their ego, its holding them back from stepping up to the plate and growing into a real man, because they are overly concerned with getting their feelings hurt. Well surprise surprise, facing challenges is scary, but risk is a part of life whether you like it or not. People who risk will always get the rewards, eventually. Some men never attempt to cold approach women after three or four tries because they lie to themselves some dumb excuse like, "oh it offends them" to justify their miserable status with the opposite sex. I see it all the time. They won't even attempt to think outside the box in terms of fashion, shoes, what women like in general, are attracted to, etc because it is just easier and more comforting for them to stay bonded to the security of failure and "but that's not what guys do!" I found out that you can still be yourself, you don't have to sell-out to get good with women, you just need to improve yourself in all ways possible: physically financially emotionally socially, etc and become You Version 2. This involves two things that alot of men simply cannot do: 1) Being totally honest to yourself no matter how uncomfortable it is. 2) having men learn something they never learn in their lives that is critical, but girls know right from their first day of school: advanced social skills. Try telling the average frustrated guy to improve his social skills, and he will look at you like you're crazy. Almost as if you are asking him to sell his soul to the devil! When in fact, being popular has zero to do with following the herd. I'm not going to say it's easy, it's the hardest work I've ever done in my life, to become more attractive to women, and it's a 24/7 job you must give 110% to. But many guys hold themselves back because they have this attitude of like, "oh that advice is not for me", and it's their stupid ego from when they were a kid, trying to protect their older selves from "being hurt." News flash... your feelings of getting hurt, in the grand scheme of things, are not that important, in fact they are hurting you. There's so much negativity and ignorance here towards the good advice and tough love and knowledge we're trying to pass along to guys having trouble, and it all just gets ignored. That's why I just stopped coming by LoveShack - because its like talking to a wall. Thanks to the help and support I have soaked up here I have better ways to spend my time now. Point is, if you can't beat 'em, join em, and if you're too weak/lazy/tired/unwilling to improve yourself to face the competition that's out there in the dating world, then stop whining about the ones who are getting it, and go run home to mommy. Every man in this world can become better and more attractive to women, all it takes it willpower, humility and patience. Because from what I learned, becoming more attractive to women goes hand in hand with improving yourself. 3
ThaWholigan Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Tell me all about it, guys like this crack me up, they are not doing everything they can, and I'll tell you why... They are too afraid of getting their ego bruised and they love to complain because of the attention it gets them. The little inner child, their ego, its holding them back from stepping up to the plate and growing into a real man, because they are overly concerned with getting their feelings hurt. Well surprise surprise, facing challenges is scary, but risk is a part of life whether you like it or not. People who risk will always get the rewards, eventually. Some men never attempt to cold approach women after three or four tries because they lie to themselves some dumb excuse like, "oh it offends them" to justify their miserable status with the opposite sex. I see it all the time. They won't even attempt to think outside the box in terms of fashion, shoes, what women like in general, are attracted to, etc because it is just easier and more comforting for them to stay bonded to the security of failure and "but that's not what guys do!" I found out that you can still be yourself, you don't have to sell-out to get good with women, you just need to improve yourself in all ways possible: physically financially emotionally socially, etc and become You Version 2. This involves two things that alot of men simply cannot do: 1) Being totally honest to yourself no matter how uncomfortable it is. 2) having men learn something they never learn in their lives that is critical, but girls know right from their first day of school: advanced social skills. Try telling the average frustrated guy to improve his social skills, and he will look at you like you're crazy. Almost as if you are asking him to sell his soul to the devil! When in fact, being popular has zero to do with following the herd. I'm not going to say it's easy, it's the hardest work I've ever done in my life, to become more attractive to women, and it's a 24/7 job you must give 110% to. But many guys hold themselves back because they have this attitude of like, "oh that advice is not for me", and it's their stupid ego from when they were a kid, trying to protect their older selves from "being hurt." News flash... your feelings of getting hurt, in the grand scheme of things, are not that important, in fact they are hurting you. There's so much negativity and ignorance here towards the good advice and tough love and knowledge we're trying to pass along to guys having trouble, and it all just gets ignored. That's why I just stopped coming by LoveShack - because its like talking to a wall. Thanks to the help and support I have soaked up here I have better ways to spend my time now. Point is, if you can't beat 'em, join em, and if you're too weak/lazy/tired/unwilling to improve yourself to face the competition that's out there in the dating world, then stop whining about the ones who are getting it, and go run home to mommy. Every man in this world can become better and more attractive to women, all it takes it willpower, humility and patience. Because from what I learned, becoming more attractive to women goes hand in hand with improving yourself. Bravo, my friend. Bravo .
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Point is, if you can't beat 'em, join em, and if you're too weak/lazy/tired/unwilling to improve yourself to face the competition that's out there in the dating world, then stop whining about the ones who are getting it, and go run home to mommy. That's exactly what I've done. Becoming complacent and unmotivated to "improve" my life has actually made me happier. Acceptance is key to life. Why bother trying to attract women, when you can just live your life and not care about it?
threebyfate Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Not a frustrated guy or girl when it comes to dating but an interested observer.... The answer I've seen most often on here is that frustrated guys (and girls) are doing all that they can. It's just that none of it's working. Or at least not in the way that they want it to work.Another interested observer and my take is that quite a number of the guys are systemizers, looking to output and goals, instead of human connections. How do you connect with human beings when you don't perceive them in this manner?
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 The following excerpts pretty much exemplifies the mindset of many of the "frustrated guys.": The real problem and causation which is that women are hypergamous and will always try to date out of their league even if that means mostly being a pump and dump or a spinning plate to a high status male that has lots of options. If average women wanted relationships with average guys then the whole problem would be solved and PUA wouldn't exist. Feminist entitlement +social media+ AFC pedestalizing has created a problem where women want to date not just out of their league but way out of their stratosphere. Hypergamy theory says women want a guy who is better in status than them or who they can in some way look up to. They don't want an equal. I think what's happened is that now women want a guy who is way above instead of slightly ahead of them. They'd rather share an uber-Alpha instead of having an average guy all to themselves. Thirty years ago you didn't have PUA boot camps and the concept of AFC hadn't come into existence because if you were an average guy you could get a girl without too much trouble. Being Alpha has always been the optimum strategy but being an average hard working joe was an efficient enough strategy for getting a mate. That's not the case anymore. Denialists can reminisce about the past all they want, but to be sexually successful in today’s world, you need to know more psychology than Freud did. In simple terms: blame it on feminism / women in general, and do NOTHING to improve yourself, and also have NO humility, ever. Which is fine. You can remain as you are and be frustrated. Meanwhile, average guys on every single street in the nation, probably, are actually dating and having relationships. Just not guys who espouse this "frustrated and bitter" mantra. 3
Author Imajerk17 Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 (edited) This might sound like circular logic, but I have a theory: The guys who are hopeless with women, do a lot of complaining but in the end, they don't take much action. They probably have that attitude when it comes to other areas of their lives too--you know, when the going is tough, simply give up. That attitude is in and of itself unattractive to women. So THAT (their attitude about challenges in life, as well as their skillset in and of itself) is what does them in with the ladies. I know what it's like to want it so bad but when I did, I was doing cold approaches and getting feedback like crazy. I didn't use anyone per se but I hustled because I just really wanted to get a handle on my dating life. As there were no single women at work and I didn't know about online dating, it was the only way I knew at the time how to meet women so I was going to make the most of it. Maybe not the healthiest lifestyle looking back, but I did make a lot of progress. I also did a lot of self-improvement. My ambition helped me out a lot. Edited October 3, 2012 by Imajerk17
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 I'm sorry, why is it bad to give up when the going gets tough? Sometimes being all plucky and giving it your all is just a fool's errand.
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Another interested observer and my take is that quite a number of the guys are systemizers, looking to output and goals, instead of human connections. How do you connect with human beings when you don't perceive them in this manner? 99% of humanity is a waste of space anyway. So who cares? At least those guys won't be reproducing.
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