sadpanda87 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 as title... i would like to hear some opinions as i dont know what to do. went away for work and told my buddy to look after my girl while i was gone. a month later they were 'in love' anyone had the same situation? did you stay friends?
Emilia Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 I've never been in that situation but I would not remain 'friends' with someone who betrayed me. 2
Mint Sauce Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 (edited) I am in that situation. And she def wanted me to remain her friend. But no way, for the following reasons: - self protection (still love her) - self worth (don't want to be number 2) - she is no friend of mine anymore, otherwise she would never have done this to me - he is no friend of mine anymore, otherwise he would never have done this to me She's still a close colleague at work though, and that's f*cking hard enough. Edited October 3, 2012 by Mint Sauce 1
Exit Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Nah. Even if you excluded that fact that she left for a friend of yours. Just leaving for someone else in general. The only time I'd even remotely consider remaining friends is a completely mutual breakup under the best circumstances, breaking up because of issues or whatever else, but not because someone new came into the picture. I know people sometimes worry that it makes them look immature or overly bitter to refuse to be friends but I don't really see it that way.
Author sadpanda87 Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 i've known the guy for 10 years. i treated him like a brother. the girl we were supposed to get engaged at the end of the year. while i dont know why they would do this to me, its very hard for me to just cut them all out of my life. on the other hand its just so painful to see them or hear anything about them. im not sure how well i can hold up, either way.
TaraMaiden Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 I don't know if this is possible, but you need to distance yourself from them, and tell them you don't want to see/hear them, until you feel ready to do so, and you don't know when that will be. You feel hurt, betrayed and shatt on by both of them, and you need time to process this, and get over it. You then have to understand that tragic as it feels, this happens to people. Peoplewe love, meet and fall in love with someone else, and sometimes - rarely - it can't be helped, but it's with people we know.... I know it's difficult to get over, but give yourself space, and all the time you need. And ask them to at least respect that, even if they couldn't respect you before and do things the right way.
melenkurion Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 It happened to me. He did say something about hoping we could all sort this out. Whatever. I wasn't interested in being his friend. They both outright lied to my face for months. Friends don't do that. 2
Mcnulty Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Shun him completely...and bang his friends! My ex mate after 10 months with her emailed me asking advice about the problems in their relationship!!!! Hahaha! Idiot!
Blastoplast Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 I can't believe you have to even ask this question. Not only the fact that she left you for somebody else, but for one of your friends? This shouldn't even be a hard decision bro 3
g450 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 I can't believe you have to even ask this question. Not only the fact that she left you for somebody else, but for one of your friends? This shouldn't even be a hard decision bro Exactly. I wonder if the OP is trying out for doormatt of the year award. He would be a dead ringer to win it if he stays friends with these two mosters.
Author sadpanda87 Posted October 4, 2012 Author Posted October 4, 2012 (edited) sounds like you havnt been in a similar situation g450, thats fine. this isnt about pride or how it'l look, its about the best way to deal with the emotional trauma and moving on from it if this happened to someone else i might even say the same thing as you, but its not that black n white when its my own problem. ego isnt the only issue Edited October 4, 2012 by sadpanda87
g450 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 sounds like you havnt been in a similar situation g450, thats fine. this isnt about pride or how it'l look, its about the best way to deal with the emotional trauma and moving on from it if this happened to someone else i might even say the same thing as you, but its not that black n white when its my own problem. ego isnt the only issue The issue is not his ego or pride. It's his self respect as a man and a human being.
msfreebyme Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 OH GOD NO! Ultimate betrayal! I am so deeply sorry you are going through this rough patch. =(
kalaslsl Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 I'm shocked on how many cases there are of friends stealing other friend's GF or BF What's wrong with people?!
Blastoplast Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 The issue is not his ego or pride. It's his self respect as a man and a human being. Exactly. Not only that, there's the trust involved also. I don't care how great or rocky the relationship was -- a true "buddy" doesn't do that to his friend, nor should his girlfriend have done it.
Author sadpanda87 Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 guess its a landslide. thanks for the um... encouragement guys, lol. suppose i ought to be stronger than that
Recommended Posts