Lilly313 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Well...this is a long story, but I need some advice. July 3rd of this year I went on a date with this amazing interesting sexy man and he is actually from Ecuador, but was applying for residency in the US. We realized about a week and a half into our relationship that he wasn't going to be getting residency any time soon due to how backed up immigration is and he was applying as a single male. So we talked and talked and talked some more about all our possibilities. He even went to a lawyer to discuss the possibilities. The best chance of us staying together and him staying in the US was to get married. So we took a chance and went for it. Just a quick court house wedding. I never told my family because I was too afraid of how they would react. So my new husband and I got an apartment together and have been living together since. Of course there were a lot of adjustments. We have been getting along for the most part, but we seem to but heads a lot lately. Also shortly after we moved in together a guy that I was in love with for the last year finally decided he had time for me since he was finally done school. We have been chatting back and forth and he was like my dream man. Lawyer, country boy, loves to hunt, devoted to God, has an amazing family and understands my love of working with people with disabilities, as his brother has a disability. So now that this man is actually interested in having something with me I am completely doubting my marriage. I wanted to take a chance on love and I got married quickly and everyone is pretty mad at me, so I feel like I can't say I failed. So I want to stick it out, but at the same time I have been waiting for over a year for this other guy to finally have time for something with me and now that he does I find myself pulling away from my husband. Its not that I don't love my husband, I do. But I also feel like I was deceived a little bit too. He said he wanted kids and now he doesn't. He was so sweet and caring and understanding before and now he always seems mad at me no matter what. He is gone all weekend working and I work during the week so we don't spend much time together, which pushes me closer to the guy I have been wanting something with for over a year. I am so lost. Have no idea what to do about my feelings. I know what my morals tell me to do, but how can I work through the feelings I am having? I would love some advice on this. Please don't be mean. I am aware of the obvious. (I moved way to quick.) I just don't know where to go from here.
TaraMaiden Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 First and foremost, examine the legal repercussions of divorcing your husband. This isn't just a heart' issue here. You're playing with someone's life and future. And you're right. You really need to chalk this one up, under the "What a dumbass, what the hell was I thinking - !?" How old are you? 4
standtall Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Lily..IMHO, whatever you do, do not trust the authorities to do the right thing. They will deport him, and will try imprison you no matter how much in love you are.
Author Lilly313 Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 I am 27 years old. He doesn't like it here in the US at all and would love nothing more than to return to Ecuador. He makes it clear he is only here for me. Most of his family is here in the states and only a couple hours from us. They are amazing and I am very attached to them. He just never seems happy with me and it pushes me away.
GuyInLimbo Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 I am 27 years old. He doesn't like it here in the US at all and would love nothing more than to return to Ecuador. He makes it clear he is only here for me. Most of his family is here in the states and only a couple hours from us. They are amazing and I am very attached to them. He just never seems happy with me and it pushes me away. I think you are allowing your pride to override what you know is the right thing to do. You rushed into something and there are already serious problems after 3 months. The solution here seems pretty clear to me.
riverratt Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 I think you are allowing your pride to override what you know is the right thing to do. You rushed into something and there are already serious problems after 3 months. The solution here seems pretty clear to me. +1 1
K Os Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 I think you are allowing your pride to override what you know is the right thing to do. You rushed into something and there are already serious problems after 3 months. The solution here seems pretty clear to me. +2 1
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