ALoveStudent Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 A few days ago I had called up my girlfriend and told her that I needed space. It was out of the blue, but I genuinely felt that I needed space as I've felt something was wrong with the relationship and wanted to think about things. Upon explaining some things to her, she got defensive and via text she claimed that she wanted a break as well. I texted her back and said that we should discuss the rules of our break. She said that there shouldn't be rules and that she wouldn't do anything she wouldn't have before. Then she said that she herself needs time to think of things and to please stop contacting her. This made me immediately think that taking a break was a mistake. I've emailed her an apology and told her that it was a mistake to ask for a break. She responded to the email saying that she received the email but just needs time to think about thinks, and that maybe we can talk by the end of the week... Is this normal? I wanted space for myself but now she has it so that I can't stop thinking about her. I hope I didn't mess up. I just needed some space!
Svet74 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 my ex also like you asked for space and i got defensive. we then broke up for good. asking space is never worth it. if you have to think then think, but then u both need to sit and actually talk.
NoMoreJerks Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 A few days ago I had called up my girlfriend and told her that I needed space. It was out of the blue, but I genuinely felt that I needed space as I've felt something was wrong with the relationship and wanted to think about things. Upon explaining some things to her, she got defensive and via text she claimed that she wanted a break as well. I texted her back and said that we should discuss the rules of our break. She said that there shouldn't be rules and that she wouldn't do anything she wouldn't have before. Then she said that she herself needs time to think of things and to please stop contacting her. This made me immediately think that taking a break was a mistake. I've emailed her an apology and told her that it was a mistake to ask for a break. She responded to the email saying that she received the email but just needs time to think about thinks, and that maybe we can talk by the end of the week... Is this normal? I wanted space for myself but now she has it so that I can't stop thinking about her. I hope I didn't mess up. I just needed some space! My bf kept asking for space, and we eventually broke up, for more than one reason, but in part because I was so frustrated he kept asking for space and not talking to me much when abroad. He came back and asked that we get back together, and I accepted, but I think we are now both careful about the space thing -- I don't ask too muh of him (in terms of calling, etc.) and told him we don't have to see each other every day when he's here, and he makes more effort to talk to me and doesn't ask for space anymore. You might have made her think that your request for space was a red flag and a key word for being on your way to breaking up with her. She may have thought she was pre-empting it.
Chi townD Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 What's disturbing is she told you that there were no rules on "the break" She doesn't want to promise you anything. THERFORE! Don't believe her when she says that she wouldn't do anything wouldn't have done before. I mean, really?!?!? What the hell does that mean exactly? If that statement was what I was doing. Rest assured, I haven't eaten squid before my break up, I damn sure can promise I wouldn't have it on my break either. That's something I wouldn't do. On the flip side, I've had sex before, and that's something I'm sure I want to have again. So, that's something I would do. See, that statement is stupid. I have a feeling that you gave her a free pass and she plans to go hog wild! And whatever she does you can't get mad! Because, "we were not together. So, me sleeping with the entire Florida State football team doesn't count because WE WERE ON A BREAK!"
Recommended Posts